Grrrr....

Ok, so I have my tummy tuck date. October 27, 2006 @ Barix. Woo hoo. Nope, I'm not as excited as I should be anymore. Boo Hoo. Actually was up half the night debating to cancel it. Yep. Honest. Why? Because I spoke to my arrogant, self centered Mother who has decided what is best for "me". 1. I need to stay at her home in Alpena while home recovering so she can go play bridge. 2. I need to find someone to care for my cat while I'm gone because I can't bring her with me since I cannot handle lifting her, or tending to her litter box. 3. If anything should go wrong, we would not take me to Ypsilanti, we would go to Alpena General. (she refuses to drive me to Ypsilanti if that were to happen) 4. She said there is no way I can return to work after 3 weeks. She knows this already. 5. And in November, she has company coming so she either wants me at her house or I have to stay home alone. I am 47 and still feel that she is controlling my life. I have decided unless I can find an alternate way to have this surgery done, and get someone to take me and bring me home and check on me, I'm cancelling it. I'm in tears now and have been since last night. I'm so sick I could just spit. Your input is greatly appreciated....I am really considering just calling it all off. SW

Stacey- Screw going to your mother's house. (sorry for sounding so mean) My friend had a TT and her arms done and she was at home basically alone and she was fine. I'm sure you have a friend who can come over 1-2x a week to help you with anything you need. DO NOT cancel this-you will regret it. Do the surgery and just stay at your house. Sounds like your mother is being very selfish and controlling.....Best of luck. Shannon

This is harder than it sounds. I am limited on my friends here in town, and limited on people who have the time. It is next to impossible for me to do this without bothering someone that has a life of their own. Even my sister can't be with me because she can't get the time off from work. So basically, I'm kinda screwed. My mother -- is selfesh and has always been that way. Now more than ever, since Dad died, she has become controlling self centered ****** (you know what I am saying) and I can't stand to talk to her. Nothing is about me ever. Nothing. So I'm really upset today. Just best if I stay offline and go away.

this is not the way to look at things Stacey. This journey is all about you and what is best for you in your own opinion! My sister had a TT and was all alone. She did just fine by herself. I'm sure if you get someone to only come in once a week to clean the litter box, you will be fine. Forget about your mother, or better yet, be more like your mother and be more self centered until this is over.I say go for it! Dawn

Stacey, can you contact one of the home aide places and see about having a CNA or home health aide stop by once a day or whatever. There will be a cost but not one as dear as having to stay with and listen to your mother. That lady really needs to butt out. You've been a grown up for a long time and it's time she backs off.

Thanks but CNA is out of pocket expense and I can't afford that.

Looks like you have given her permission to control your life by not considering other options. At least two people on this board have offered you help. You didn't even dignify one of them with a reply. So, when you are done with the pity party, let us know. Sorry to be grouchy, but I've offered twice, and others have as well. We offered because we meant it. I still do.

Why can't you email me privately and bash me instead of publicly humiliate me?

Not trying to humiliate you, just want you to think more positively. And, you didn't respond to my past emails. You are usually such a positive voice on here and I hate to see you trap yourself in this negativity. Sorry if I came down too hard, I didn't mean to make you feel worse. I hope you will think outside the box you have wedged yourself in.

(((Hugs to you, Stacey))): First of all...I hate to see you cancel. You know better than anyone how hard you have worked for this. So, take a deep breath and perhaps a few days and really ponder your decision. Secondly, unfortunately I fall into that group of people who are usually caught up in their own busy lives...but ya know what? I'm not that far from Mt. Pleasant...and maybe if you can find a couple of us who can "take a shift" so to speak...maybe you can swing this afterall, without your Mom's assistance. I would be willing to do that if you feel that would be helpful. You don't need to respond right away...I can only imagine all the thoughts and emotions you are going through at the moment. Just know that, although I am limited, I will do what I can to help. Take Care, Maria W.