Feelin' FAT!!

Hey guys. It is soooo crazy to be 25lbs from my goal weight and still feel so huge! I have a theory but I wondered if anyone else feels the same way? I think because I am 6 ft tall and large boned, I look around at all the little petite skinny girls and get devastated that I will never look like that no matter how small I get! I don't know why this bothers me as I have a husband that adores me and I am not looking for other guys attention. I just feel like a big ol' cow some days and get annoyed. I also keep thinking about dropping my goal weight and don't know what to do. I don't want to become one of those crazy people that are obsessed, but I wonder if I am getting there. Also, for those of you who have had plastics already, did you feel this way before and don't now? Cause I am also wondering if I feel like this because of all the excess skin and such. Any opinions are welcome. Wendy

Wendy...........I honestly think you are being true to your self from your past. How we use to be, and look at ourselves. Now, that is different. At least you are tall. You have accomplished SO much, and look so awesome that instead of being proud, we/you feel fat. I know. I see myself on horses, and think, what a fattie I am. I look so fat. I am so fat. I dont see myself as thin - will I ever? Who knows. I tell you one thing. stop comparing yourself to teeny little girls who are half your age and half your size. Compare yourself to what you USE to be, and NOW. AND then notice the difference. It isn't a competition that you are in, it isn't a war. Maybe just with your brain. Tell yourself every day how amazing you are, how amazingly wonderful you look and believe in it in your heart and soul and mind. You alone have the power to change how you feel, think and see yourself in the mirror. That reflection is worth 1,000,000 words, and is the picture you have waited for all your life. Trust me, when I tell you that you and I share those feelings. I use to see people just after surgery, while wearing my binder. How ashamed I was of myself. how the other girls were so skinny. Heck, I live in a college town with girls young enough here to be my daughter, and I could care less now. I am just as hot as they are. And, I make myself believe it. 47 or not, here I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wendy, you rock, and don't believe any less of yourself. Hugs girl Stacey

Thanks Stacey! Wendy

Hi Wendy, I totally agree with Stacey! I think we have lived in our bigger bodies for so long that it is hard to see ourselves as being thin. It's ironic because I was just thinking about that today. I am now down 75 pounds and I can't wrap my mind around how much thinner I am. I am so used to being in a shell that I can't see myself and be proud of who I am becoming. You have done a really wonderful job, and I think you (and myself) need to talk better to yourself. I think you should focus on the positives. You have a wonderful husband, you are beautiful, and you have lost weight and taken positive steps to be healthy! Just chalk it up to one of those days, and keep moving toward goal! And I am proud of you!! Keep up the good work! God Bless, Kathy

Thanks Kathy! I try to tell myself that it is about the health, but that old self punishing demon keeps nagging at me! I do need to self talk more positive things! Wendy

I have to say that sometimes I've felt that way because of my height of 5'8. All my life my friends were 4'11 to 5'5 so I always felt like I towered of them. I usually wear 1-3 inches heels on my shoes so, that made me even taller. So, I think that your height probably makes you feel "Big" rather than your new thinner self. Just remember that you are rare, just like a precious jewel. I'm sure your husband would agree...who wants a rhinestone when they can have a diamond. Enjoy your beautiful self! Kori

Thank you Kori! I do think being so tall has alot to do with it. When I was in high school, I was called fat all the time, and I weighed what my goal weight is now!! I was not fat. I think I was picked on so much my whole life that it is hard to see someone that you do not believe you are. And my husband is so good to me, he is always saying nice things. That does help alot. Thanks again, Wendy

Wendy, I just looked at your profile and OMG!!!!!! You have done so well! You need to stop feeling fat and start feeling proud of yourself! But I can certainly relate to what you are saying. I am 5'9" and I am not small boned. And I know I will never be skinny. I wear a size 10 shoe so I know what you mean by feeling big. I still am not at my goal. I am 25lbs from what they say my goal is. I had my TT and breast lift last December with Dr. DiNick and I know it did a world of good for my self esteem. But people always think I weigh less than what I actually weigh, which of course makes me feel good. And the comment I get a lot is that I do not look like a bariatric patient, that I look so healthy. So I always try to tell myself that looking healthy and feeling good is more important than that number. But I do have to say, you look so much younger now. Now that I've lost my weight, I wear heels all the time. My husband is 6'5" so I could care a less how tall I look, as long as I'm not taller than him, I don't care. I hear a lot of people refer to me as the, "tall blonde". As long as I don't hear the, "heavy set blonde" anymore - I guess I'm o.k. So start feeling proud of yourself and what you have accomplished because you truly do look amazing and so YOUNG!!! Take care, Carey

Thanks Carey! I know it is a head thing, I am hoping that the plastics help me. I should feel blessed that being tall I can carry more weight and still look thinner than I am! If I were any shorter at 392 I would not have been able to walk LOL! Scary thought! You have done really great too and I hope I can wear heels some day with pride. My hubby is 6'2" so it would be ok for me too. Wendy