Memorials-I read, now I am scared

I have been reading through the memorials page here on OH and now I am a bit scared of having this surgery. I know there are many more positives than there are negatives, I mean my mom, aunt, and cousin have had this surgery and they are fine. I'm scared that something will happen to me and leave my 2 little ones without a mommy. Any kind and reassuring words would be very helpful right now.

Tonia, I did the same as you a few weeks ago. I also paid attention to the reason for their death. More often than not, these people passed away before being able to have their surgeries. I too am nervous about surgery and what might happen, but if I don't do anything, what will happen then? Death is inevitable from the time we are born. We all have our time to go and will when that time comes. We could die in a car accident tomorrow and our children would be left with no mommies. Does that mean we won't get into a vehicle because it's possible? Of course the decision has to be yours, and it's normal to have doubts, ESPECIALLY when we see mortality right in our face. In all honesty, I'd be more worried if you weren't a bit scared. Weigh your pros and cons, and you'll come to your decision that you are comfortable with. I wish you the best in your decision making, it's never an easy one.

I have read through them as well... they scare me, but most the deaths listed arent from surgery complications. They were from underlying issues the people might have had, or something of the like. Not to sound mean to some of them, but they also died because they didnt take care of themselves as good as they were suppose to (speaking from personal experience , not a specific memorial.) Its a scary thing, but its reality. you know its said that 9 out of 10 people say they will die at some point in their lifetime.

Tonia, Yes the Memorials can be scary, but reading peoples posts here on the board and their information is important too. It has its scary moments but weighing the facts of morbid obesity vs doing something about it is important too. I am glad that I choose to have the rny done 17 months ago. I am so mobile now. I can walk and do things where before I could not. I am down 119 pounds so far. My husband had the rny done in May of this year and is down 91 pounds so far and he has followed the same path of feeling better being able to walk and move so much more easily. We went to Chicago this past Sat. It was a blast. 2 years ago when we went I had to take a wheelchair to use as I could not walk the distance. We walked at least 4 miles on our shopping trip. What a difference it made for both of us. Brenda and David

What I can tell you is that I studied my surgery for nearly a decade and asked questions and did just what you are doing -- research. You have to know both sides before doing this and you have to be educated and understand what you will go through and the best people in the world to ask are right here. People who, like me, have undergone Open RNY and in one year have lost over 150 lbs. People who, like me, can wear a small size and no longer shop in the plus size section. People who, like me, are no longer centering their lives on food and sweets and garbage. People who, like me, can walk miles and miles and not sweat and have energy and will live a long and healthier life. You have to weigh the pros and the cons just for yourself. What is going to work for you, your life, your lifestyle, your job, your benefits, your world. Then the rest falls next. YOU are the primary concern. You need to be SURE 100 percent this is what you want, and to be around for those 2 little ones, which is the best option for you? Read profiles (like mine and many many others here) and ask questions and email someone who has something that interests you. That's why we are all here....to help one another understand, be encouraged, motivated and help like family. This is one large SKINNY family my dear, and I welcome you to it but don't let what "might" happen scrare your research. Dig deeper and dig hard so you can know the facts and then decide. Just reading the "memorials" doesn't give you much hope...when in reality there is sadness and hurt and upset with WLS. We don't always manage it right, nor do we always have it perfect. It is hard work and you have to want it bad. And I mean that sometimes, it doesn't work right. Sometimes, it does. It's alot of trial and error. Every single day. Keep searching. Your answers will come and you will know in your heart what is best for you and your precious little ones. Stacey

It is scarey. You can die from this surgery. I knew that when I went into it but I was ready to take the chance. I was going to die on my own terms. CanI tell you that nothing will go wrong with 100% positive assurance? No but I cna tell you the risks are low and that very few have died on the table especially in the past 5 years. Get yourself ready for surgery and drink water and take vitamins and eat protein. Start walking and doing deep breathing excersises. Be prepared for surgery and you will be fine. kp