Contemplating Surgery and Seeking Advice

Hi. My name is Roz and I am new to ObesityHelp.com. I have been contemplating a surgical weight loss option for about six months now. I am hoping to find some people who can give me some advice about the procedure and/or be willing to share their experiences. In my researching I have found many books and websites where people share their experiences, but I would like to find some people of whom I can ask questions and get a more personal view of the whole thing. Just a little bit about me...I am 26 years old. I will have been married four years as of June 22nd, 2006. In January 2005, I was blessed to have a beautiful baby girl who is the light and joy of my life. Actually, she is really the only joy in my life. Otherwise I am miserable. I have struggled with my weight pretty much all of my life. When I as in school I was always taller than my friends, which made me feel quite awkward. In junior high I began filling out more quickly than my peers, and people began to make comments that I was "putting on weight" or "getting chunky." I'll never forget my junior high experience because it was a real turning point for me socially, and a serious blow to my self image. People began teasing me a lot more than when I was in grade school. I was embarrassed when I had to change clothes for gym because my clothes were always bigger than everyone elses. And I was devistated one day when the guy I was madly in love with told a friend of mine that I was "too big" for him to consider being with me. It really hurt. I look back at my year books now and I see nothing wrong with the girl I once was. Sure, I may not have been thin as a rail, but I was pretty. But everyone around me kept telling me that I was too big. I have steadily gained weight ever since junior high and high school...every year getting a little bigger than the last. My parents were constantly making me feel inadequate because of my weight. They probably didn't even realize how much their comments were hurting me. Even my brothers teased me. Anyway, to make a long story short (too late...I know) I am now 26 years old and feeling like a big fat blob who cannot enjoy life. When I tested my BMI on this website yesterday it said I was considered "Super Obese." Super? How did I let myself get this way? I keep telling myself that I just need to try harder. That I need to eat less. That I need to eat better foods. That I need to exercise more. But I always end up sabotaging my plans. I did manage to loose almost 90 pounds two years ago by going to Medical Weight Loss Clinic in Battle Creek, MI. But then I got pregnant, and two years later I am now even heavier than when I started. I have also struggled with depression most of my life, and my weight is making it so much harder to deal with that sometimes I just want to die rather than waking up in the morning. I am so confused and frustrated. I feel like I am at the end of my rope and don't know if there is any way I can be saved. If there is anyone out there who would be willing to talk, I would be eternally grateful. P.S. I'm sorry this message ended up being so long...but it feels good to get some of this out. Thanks for listening!

Hi Roz welcome to our big happy family! Everyone here is wonderful, ask any questions you need. to me, this surgery saved my life. I was huge, could barely walk, had high blood pressure, knee and back pain, undiagnosed sleep apnea and asthma. I am now free of all of this and am enjoying life like you wouldn't believe. I never imagined it could feel so good and i'd be so confident being thin. I am here for you whenever you need, just let me know. Hugs Linda 360/160/?

Thanks for the welcome, Linda. I am glad I am finally talking about my problem. In the last year or so I have really begun feeling the effects of the extra weight I am carrying. I am so tired all of the time. It takes all I have to get my daughter to day care in the mornings and make it through a full 8 hours of work. I've had lots of problems with back pain and headaches. And I recently found out that I have developed an insulin resistence. I am not diabetic yet, but I am right on the edge. I have a harder time sleeping...which I NEVER had before. Nothing fits me...I feel ugly all of the time...I am just miserable. It is obvious to me that I cannot go on living this way, but I am torn as to what to do about it. I have been hearing all kinds of horror stories about the long-term effects of WLS...but at the same time I feel desperate. Have you had many problems since your surgery?

Hello Roz and welcome to OH. This is such a great tool full of advice and inspiration. I live in Dowagiac, not to awful far from you if you would like to chat about my experience email me. I could give you a call or maybe meet for lunch one day. Keep your chin up, Stacy

Thanks Stacy! I may just take you up on that offer! :)

Hi Roz- This is the place to be for information and help with your questions so, ask away. There are no dumb or unimportant questions. We will all help in any way we can. Good luck on your journey. Having surgery was the best thing I could have done for myself and my family. Life is sooooo much more enjoyable these days. Teri

I was really touched by your story Roz. It sounds like so many of our own stories here on this board! Welcome and know that you now have a place to come to as many times a day as you'd like to ask questions, vent, soul-search, etc.... I started reading peoples profiles....you just click on their name and read away! I also loved looking at the before and after pics. I just couldn't believe that I was actually gonna be thin!...Just like them! Wow, and what a ride it's been! All I can tell you is I would do this surgery over again in a heartbeat. You not only gain your health back, but your confidence too, and that was so important to me. Welcome to the Board and post away! Someone's always on. Hugs, Theresa

Hi Roz, welcome to OH. This is an awesome site. I can so relate to your story. It was very touching... I know all too well the humility you feel but there is always hope. As long as you keep fighting, you will find a way to get healthy. I actually contemplated having surgery for about 3 years until I knew it was time. I guess I just had peace about it, and everything fell into place. I pray that you find peace in your search to be healthy. I would also suggest that you take some time and read profiles on here. It helped me tremendously knowing that I wasn't alone in this world, because being overweight you eventually seclude yourself from the world. And you think you are the only one struggling-- but your not..... I Promise. I see you live in Lawton, that's not too far from me.. I am in Kalamazoo!! If you decide to have the surgery, I know a REALLY GOOD SURGEON here in Kalamazoo!!! Best Wishes to ya! Love, Kathy

Roseanna, You have absolutely no idea how much your story parallels mine! I am 6 foot and was always called "fat" all through school. I look back now and see that I was NOT fat. I believe now that my whole life everyone saw me as this great big amazon woman and thought I was too big, so I became what everyone expected me to be. And found out that it was a layer of protection. You are so lucky that this option is here for you now at this age. I was 36 when I finally did this. I wish I had done it at your age! If you know in your heart this is the option for you, DON'T put it off. You can still enjoy your 20's as a vital active person. And maybe, if you are real lucky, not even need plastic's to help you afterward! Your story sounds like you could be me! Please feel free to email me if you have any ?'s or anything, or even if you just need support! I am on the computer daily and love to help out out preops as much as I can. Wendy

Roz, First, welcome to oh.com. A place filled with wonderful people, who are kind, caring and moving. I find many people here supportive and informative and tell you their stories when you ask. I also have met several people personally and can tell you that they are truly amazing people. As are the ones I have not yet met! I started looking into gastric bypass about a decade ago. When Barix Clinics was known as "Bariatric Treatment Centers"...I was one of the first people to request information. I kept it, but............things were hard to manage, my work wouldn't let me off, insurance wouldn't cover all of it, and the time wasn't right. Not only that, but I just didn't know all I wanted to. So I began my quest to educate myself. Which is what you need to do as well. Start the process by reading how life is before surgery. Then learn what the surgery you want to have involves. I mean from every corner, every angle. And talk to different people about their surgeries. After that, learn about post op hospital care. Meaning while you are recovering in the hospital. What's expected of you and so on. Finally, life after WLS. How do you eat, what choices are good choices, and what is the plan for life? Seeing and talking to a Registered Dietician or Nutritionist (which here in short we call them "nut".....will help you in knowing food and choices you will have to pick from. Reading profiles of people here is a good way to learn their stories. All you have to do is click on someone's name that is underlined, and it takes you to their profiles. Some profiles are in great details. Many have rows and rows of entries and photos and weight loss progress. Then there is a 'email me' link at the top left corner so you can directly email that person and ask them something. I hope that you find this site to be helpful and remember that there are many resources on obesityhelp.com besides the message boards. Surgeons, Support groups, and more are available on the main page. Welcome ....and feel free to view and read my profile and my personal website I created with more photos. Stacey