Why can't people mind their own buisness?????????

I have told some people, and others not. For the group of women I associate with I have not told, they have noticed my weight loss. I told them that I had stomach problems and now I am not eating as much (which is true!). I only told my parents, brother and sister. It was about six months later that I told other family members. There has been a lot of squawking years ago when a cousin had WLS and swore my aunt not to tell anyone. My aunt was not in the best of health and the whole family was up in arms that they didn't even know where my aunt was. I personally did not want this. WLS is not for everyone, and I tell people to exhaust every other option possible before making a decision on this. It is life changing. You go ahead and rant.....

Hi Rhonda, Thanks for listening to me rant and rave. I also tell people who ask that I am eatting smaller portions. I also tell them that I exercise, eat a lot of protein and drink alot of water which is all true. Thanks alot for yor help. Your WLS Pal, Jennifer V.

I get tosee these women again today. I saw them on Saturday at an indoor picnic. I was wearing skorts and bragged that last summer I was wearing a size 22 and now I was wearing a 12/14 (depends on what it is). Since I'm going to be installed as an officer today, I will probably wear a dress. I'm gonna see if I can wear the one I wore to my sister's wedding in 1991. I only wore it once or twice and it's hung in the closet ever since. I had stomach problems - they were from this group of ladies and where I stood on one item. I didn't want to be around them and I had some issues with food and being upset. I had the surgery, avoided the chinese buffet meeting and maybe only have seen them 3 or 4 times since September. I hope that things will be different when we start meeting again in September...and that I will have reached my personal goal. In the meantime, I'm happy for the most part!

Jennifer, I agree with KP. However, I will tell you lately, my dilemma has been my Mother. In planning my father's memorial service (he passed 2/15/06) and the memorial is on July 8, 2006, she is having a cookout the night before for all the family and friends that will be there, then on the day of the memorial she is having a luncheon and that night after the memorial she is having another cookout at someone else's house. Now, the issue -- the first night she is having brats and hot dogs, both of which I don't like NOR can I eat, the memorial lunch will be HAM and potato salad, cole slaw and chips, none of which I can eat, and then on the night of the memorial they are having pizza which-- i'm lactose intolerant. So I wanted to grill and make turkey burgers. and she said to me; YOU NEED TO GRILL THOSE INSIDE ON THE FOREMAN AND EAT THEM IN THE HOUSE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO PEOPLE WHY YOU CAN'T EAT WHAT THEY ARE EATING. I told her I WOULDN'T COME THEN. And now she feels bad because I slammed her right back with attitude and said that was rude and uncalled for and I told it like I feel. Stand up for what you feel is right and never let your guard down and only trust those you know closest. I believe that sometimes if we hide things, it gets back to us. And always remember; TRUTH IS A HARD MASTER TO SERVE, BUT ONE THAT SIMPLIFIES LIFE. Good luck hon and I hope you get some relief from this stress soon. Stacey

Hi Stacy, Thanks for the advice. I am sorry to hear the trouble with your Mother. I wish that everyone could just try to understand what an obese person goes through on a daily basis but I know that it will never happen. Thanks again for your help. Your WLS Pal, Jennifer V.

I told some people at work so I'm sure everyone knows. However, I didn't tell anyone in my family other than my mother and sister. When the inevitable time comes for me to see relatives (we all live far apart so it doesn't happen often) and they ask me "how did you lose the weight?" I'm just going to respond that I'm eating less. If they press me and ask me about surgery, I'll respond with a question: "What would ever make you ask such a personal question?" I have some experience with these kinds of questions - I have MS and not everyone knew that because I don't have obvious symptoms of the disease. Well, the word eventually got around and you wouldn't believe the kinds of questions people ask. One uncle will still ask me "Karen, are you still working full time?" Yikes. I don't mind sharing information about the disease with those who are truly interested, but that's usually not the case - - it seems like lots of people are just snoopy. I'm with ya, sister. You have a right to your privacy.

I had neurosurgery at age 29, and people would look at me funny because I used a walker for six months; a four-prong cane for a year and a regular cane for a year after that. I have a handicap permit because I still have a balance & cooridination problem 16 years later. You should see the looks I get when I use it!! As for you uncle, you might say, "What gave you the idea that I couldn't work full time?"

Hi Karen, Thanks so much for the advice. You are so right, it does seem that lots of people are just plain snoopy. I like your answer to the question about surgery, I am going to have to remember that one. Its not too rude but straight to the point.....I love it! Thanks again for your help, it sure helps to know that I am not alone with this! Your WLS Pal, Jennifer V.

Some people can not be priviledged to any personal information, whether it be about your health or otherwise. People make comment on my weight loss now, yes I have had some people actually ask me about WLS, for most I don't feel the need to explain my situation about my weight or my other health issues. People have asked more questions about my weight loss than they ever have about my MS, a broken spine, or chemo treatments. It still amazes me to this day the audacity of some of these morons in this world. "Why do you want to know?", "if I really wanted to talk about I would have brought it up myself", or my all time favorite is "I think maybe you should make an appointment with my doctor and let him examine your diet to see if he can help you too" (most of the time that one shuts them up) those are some of the responses I have found useful in the past 18 months of several health related issues. Good luck to you remember if all else fails simply bite your tongue and act like you never heard a single word they said, just walk away!!!LOL Jill

Hi Jennifer, Dealing with nosey people like your tact-less neighbor is one of my fears. I am a very non-confrontational girl (who can't spell worth a lick). Sure... I can talk a big talk but when push comes to shove, I usually just try to brush off any sticky situation. I had a hard time talking to my staff about my decision to change my life with WLS. The one thing that I have learned is how wonderful it is when someone asks you where to go or what to do to get started learning about WLS. So for me, sharing my decision in two instances, played me back with the Blessings of knowing I may have helped two people take the first step in changing their life. On the other hand, there is no way on God's green earth that I am ever going to tell my sister-in-law or brother-in-law about my decision to have WLS. They are two people my husband and I choose not to associate with at all, for various personal reasons - but they are the prime example of two individuals who would make my post-op life a living H E L L. Sooner or later if we ever run into them again, there will be obvious stares as well as dropped jaws... but I can't wait for the day that they WONDER how I did this... and let them be envious and in AWE of how awesome I look and feel. That was probably pretty shallow of me to admit, but they have not been very good to my husband and I over the last few years. I am not witty with comebacks... but I can tell you that this nosey neighbor probably has a lot of skeletons in her closet that she would rather deter attention from. Those people who matter most know and understand and support your decisions. Chances are others who were in earshot of her remarks probably quickly realized what an as$ she made of herself. Chin up sister... we've got your back! Brandee