Why can't people mind their own buisness?????????

Hi Everyone, I don't know where to begin.......... How many of you chose not to tell everyone you know that you had WLS? Well, I am one of the people that chose not to tell everyone. I made this choice for many reasons. The main one is because I am a pretty private person and I feel that this was a personal decision and it really isn't anyones buisness. Now don't get me wrong I am VERY proud of having this surgery and I thank God everyday for my wonderful PCP who helped me get it and also my wonderful surgeon Dr. Carlin. I don't want to discreadit the surgery in anyway what so ever I just don't think it is something everyone needs to know. Anyway, this past weekend my husband and I had a crawfish boil (he is from Louisiana) and we invited most of the neighbors and some other friends. Well most of the neighbors haven't seen me in a while so there were comments about my weight loss which wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for this one neighbor. As soon as she seen me she says I hear you had gastric bypass surgery. I felt so cornerd and I really didn't know what to say at first. I normally am not a person to lie but I did. Then she just kept on and on about my weight and everything. She would not let up. Now I am feeling guilty for lying, feeling guilty cause I feel that maybe I am not giving the surgery credit it so deserves by letting everyone know I had it done. I don't know what to do I wish people would just mind their own damn buisness. I can't stop thinking about it. Why does someones weight have to be such an issue? All I wan't is to just live my life like everyone else. My weight has always been an issue and just when I think that maybe it won't be such an issue anymore someone has to mess it up. Why do people care so much about someones weight? Have any of you ever had to deal with this? Do you think I should just come clean and tell everyone and their brother that I lied and I had WLS? Why am I letting this bother me so much. Any help with this matter would be very much appreciated. Sorry you had to hear me rant and rave for so long. You guys are the best....... Thanks....... Your WLS Pal, Jennifer V.

Jennifer.... I struggled with some of this for a while, and to be honest I really still do.. I mean I really can't expect people not to comment...it's hard for people to not notice our weight loss as extreme as it is in reality, and ultimately I'd like to believe people make comments to be nice and recognize our achievements. I know it's not always true but I'd like to think it is. (Hell I still have a hard time with complaints that are being said to be NICE!) I personally do not broadcast that I had WLS.. however if asked I do tell people I had WLS and of course then feel the need to jump right into why.. I don't feel I need to defend my decision to anyone but if I can cut off the POOP that will flow from peoples mouths before they get it out the better I say! Why do I tell.... because there is a part of me that never wants to mislead another obese person into thinking I did it through diet alone. That I was able to do something they struggle with daily to do or that maybe something is wrong with them for not being able to do so. As for people who might look down on me for having had WLS.. I DARE them to confront me... they are cowards if they talk behind my back and have no idea what my life was or is like... At any rate you have to decide what is right for you.. don;t let ANYONE else tell you otherwise or make you feel otherwise.. WLS was your personal choice and what you tell people is up to you. If you want to stay private I'd go visit your neighbor and politely but firmly let her know that you'd rather keep your medical history private... Hope that helps... Erin

Hi Erin, Thanks for the advice. It helps to know that there are others who know how I feel. I am with you on never wanting to mislead another obese person, I could never do that. My neighbor is not one of those people she maybe weighs 115 pounds soaken wet. Thanks again for your help. Your WLS Pal, Jennifer V.

I also made the choice you made I disclosed my surgery to my immediate family and a few friends that would see me right after surgery. For me not only was it private but I did not want people hovering over me watching me when I ate with them or asking me "what can you eat " this happenes with my family all the time. My thoughts were, I am doing this to be normal and if I did lose the weight I would always be remined when those questions and stares came rolling in. I was also cornered by 2 very close friends but I stuck to my guns and awnsered there questions with how I am doing it does not matter . As long as it keeps working. When someone asks me how did you do it I say a new diet called "stop-a-eating".. My only regret is the people who are morbidly obesit and are looking for help. I have told a few of them what I did so i could help them . If I don`t want them to know I explain I was seriously considering it and know alot about it and have very good friends who have had the surgery if they need help or have questions. I bet you, the woman who cornered you would be the same one making you the butt of the fat jokes before your surgery. I would have told her she looked a little fat in those pants she was wearing LOLOL.. Or was she losing a little hair ? Cause your doo looks a little thin LOL your not alone Jen don`t ever think that ... Paul

Hi Paul, Thanks so much for the advice. It helps to know that there are others who know how I feel. I am with you on just wanting to be normal. That is one of the many reasons I had the surgery. I like your answer to "how did you do it?" It made me laugh! Thanks again for your help. Your WLS Pal, Jennifer V.

You do what you think is right for you! Don't feel guilty because you don't like to lay all your laundry out for the neighborhood! I hate the people who look at me and tell me I did not need to lose weight! How the heck would they know!! My comeback is always "Yeah! Well you should have seen me naked!" , that usually stops them cold! Just really think about a comeback and when confronted with that nosy neighbor, fire away! Obesity made alot of us shy and it is a hard shell to come out of because you feel better to not be seen or heard. You will come out stronger and braver! Time will be your helper! Keep Strong!!!

Hi Tami, Thanks for the advice! You are right about being shy, I am and always have been. I do need to learn how to stick up for myself more. I love your comeback it made me laugh! Thanks again for your help! Your WLS Pal, Jennifer V.

You have a right to your privacy. I have a couple of gals I walked with when they got cut that have kept it private. So you are well within your rights. For the nosy person who hadn't seen me in a long while and asked me the obvious WLS questions very loudly in a public arena I had this to say - "I did time for a while and prison food just makes the pounds melt right off! I was lucky because a homicide charge usually carries a longer sentence but they took into account that she asked for it." She shut up and went away. Everyone else who was standing there and knew what my real story was were holding back tears from laughing so hard. I would have left her alone had she not made the comments about how dangerous it is and unnecessary. kp

Only you could use a comeback like that. LOL Suzanne 300/150

Hi KP, Thanks so much for the advice. It helps to know that I am not the only one who doesn't tell everyone. My neighbor also said that to me very loadly and infront of a bunch of people. I wish I could have come up with a comeback like yours. I loved it, it made me Thanks again for your help and the laugh, Your WLS Pal, Jennifer V.