cheating louse!

I'm so sorry to hear this. I did not go through this personally, but I have a friend who also went through the surgery at the same time she was going through a divorce. She would be so upset, that she wouldn't eat ANYTHING - let alone the small amounts we already get to eat...so she lost LOTS of weight in an EXTREMELY short period of time. You do not want to do that to yourself - it's not healthy. Take care of YOU - and if he decides to leave, then it will be his lost because you will be looking even better in a very short while.

Hi Mousie, The only thing I can say is please don't make any rash decisions. Give yourself time to think and act rationally ~not react~. Right now you are hurt, but you do have choices. First you need to ask yourself some questions. Do you love him? Do you want to stay with him after this? Are you willing to forgive him? Will this happen again? Counseling is a good idea. Someone for you to talk to, so you can sort out the way you feel, how you want to treat this, and where to go from this point. This is your life and your marriage. You have to decide what is right for you. Some people become very bitter and angry when things like this happen. That only serves to self harm, and usually doesn't have an effect on the spouse/partner. So please be careful how you handle this situation. You are in my prayers. God bless you, Annette

Hi Mousie, I know that it is the worst feeling in the world to be so betrayed like that. I feel for you! All I can say is if you really want to have this surgery DO NOT let this get in the way! Don't let him take that from you! I wish you all the best! Your WLS Pal, Jennifer V.

Mousie, First of all I am sorry you are going through this. I actually found my husband of 16 years in bed with his lover(not the man I am married to now thank goodness). It wasn't a pretty sight. I went through hell over this. I felt everything you are feeling now. This isn't your fault. It's HIS. You didn't do anything. HE did. It will take time to get over this. One of the first things I did, was call up my family Dr. and they got me in right away and made me the last appointment of the day. I poured my heart out to her and she was so kind and caring. So please go get yourself checked out for your own peace of mind. Don't let this get in the way of your surgery. Make other arrangements for someone to come care for you. I hate to say this but if he lied to you this long why wouldn't he lie about coming to take care of you? I would get someone who is a sure thing to care for me again for your own peace of mind. Remember the best way to get even with him is to be successful with your surgery and show him what he gave up for that 20 year old. In the long run you will be better off. It don't seem so right now, but trust me it does get better. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. I wish you well and will think of you. Please take care of you first. Hugs, Connie

Dear Mouse, Not much else I can add to what has all ready been said but I want to encourage you that no matter how this turns out it life will enetually get better. What you are going through STINKS. Whether you save your marriage or it is destroyed, this will change you forever. Just know many have gone before you in this same situation and we are here to tell ya' we made it. So cry, cry and cry some more then once you get past the hurt you will be pissed, then disbelief, then acceptance There are so many stages to this and they follow no set course. In years to come just when you think you are doing ok something will come up and it will all feel like it happened just yesterday. It is all normal. How you are feeling is NORMAL. Please know we are here for you. Warmest of hugs to you sweetie. You deserve a good life and a good marriage. Accept nothing less.

Mousie, I am so sorry that you have to go through that I hope that this doesnt change you having surgery That would be really messed up. we will keep you in our prayers and hope that things get better John