You gotta love supportive parents

John and Jennifer Cannan wrote: Pop And Nana, I thought that all of this was behind us. As you can tell I have not thought there was anything wrong except a difference of opinion about the surgeries. Am I missing something? I'm not asking for you to agree I know that you don't. It isn't about you. I am sorry if that bothers you enough to cut us out of your life. Alisha is the one that pays. We and I repeat have no problem with either of you all. I guess I just don't get it. I am having the surgery and if it means that You people are writting us off then i guess we are written off. It would be helpful to know that this is the case. Because of the fact of no other choice we have lined up care for Alisha while we are in surgery so she will go to school in June and then she will be home for July. I plan of collecting the kids the last weekend in June. I hope to come and visit when we bring the kids back. Would like to get together with Grandmother as well. I think that we can make this work. I will agree to disagree on the method in which I get my life back. I will not fail dispite the starvation and restructuring of my stumach. I will be here to take any call or e-mail. I am leaving the ball in your court I am by no means saying that I have given up on you . The truth is I love and care about you both and it really distresses me that we are not on the same page. I hope that this is not good bye is surly is not my intention. we want and need you all to be in our lives. Please dont walk away. Love John Good morning John, ...what a great way to greet us!!!??? Huh??? We "have not thought there was anything wrong except a difference of opinion about the surgeries and the "wisdom" of scheduling both at the same time," either. Your not contacting us for a week or so didn't alarm us in the least as there have been extended periods in your life when you didn't see fit to contact us.....nearly always when we didn't agree with your behavior. For the past week or so we have been spending from daylight to dark working on our yard projects, adjusting our construction schedules when others changed their schedules and effected ours.... Etc. ...presently doing the most labor-intensive work ourselves, with the cooperation of the young couple that bought Anita's home.....& etc We WILL have a completion before we become too old to enjoy the "fruits of our labor." For 64 year olds we are doing pretty well. It IS nice to know that you are not giving up on us. Otherwise, I don't think I could stand it. Anyway, we don't believe we are petty people. We pretty much "live and let live" ....on our good days. However, any advice or suggestions from us have never been retaliatory, only genuinely concerned for you and yours. That said, we can't remember anytime that our advice to you wasn't accurate. If you had followed it, you wouldn't face the troubles that you now face. One more time John we have given you good advice and one more time you refuse to listen to wise counsel. So be it. You wanna "hit your own self harder?" Go for it big boy! YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES...NOT US! Do yourself a favor. Test reality. Make a list of the "bad advice that we have given you. Go for it! We are completely through with playing other people's "foul balls." Do yourself another favor and consider this final bit of advise: DON'T go through with this operation! It is doomed to failure from the "get go!" If you can't "get there" with diet and exercise, you need a "shrink" not a surgeon! All that said...we don't play games. We are straight shooters. We wish you well with your "new life style" BUT don't expect us to support this ill-conceived endeavor in any way....'cause we DON'T, AIN'T and WON'T! It seems we all plan to have a busy summer. Take care- Love, PawPaw & Nana

I am so sorry John and Jennifer. I would love to give them a peice of my mind. Obviously they don't have a clue about obiesety or wls. You will do fine with or without the support of them and you don't need that negativity in your life. Leeanne

Geez! Well, my parents, husband, kids and sisters were all against me doing it too. I am down 161 lbs and healthy as can be. All of them said they are now glad I did it. It has been my salvation. I believe and I am sure many other people with an obesity problem would agree, that obesity is a physical situation. Diet and excersize are only a temporary help as the fat cells have memories. And while yes, counseling does help and I would strongly advise you to do counseling as well as the surgery, it is not a cure all and the physical nature of the problem require a more drastic measure. Last week a 41 year old woman with children just dropped dead in her house. Obesity was surely the factor. She was the mother of a friend of mines son. It is very sad and preventable. If I had not done this I would be dropping dead in 4 years(I am 37). I had undiagnosed high blood pressure and sleep apnea, as well as elevated cholesterol and enlarged heart. All of these things were only found out by my prepping for surgery! All of them under control or resolved by my weight loss!! Feel free to share this with your parents if you think it would help. Wendy

Relax and go for it John, you guys have to live for you. And once you're in your new body, just bite into that healthy piece of food in front of them and grin. Sheryl In the Zoo

John they just do not understand how you feel if they are not obese. My family was really concerned about me to when I had my surgey but they knew in the long run it saved my life in many ways. I think after you have the procedure and see how happy you are and feeling great and getting healthy they will realize that this surgery was the right choice. Tricia

Hi John and Jennifer, How sad that so many people are uneducated on surgical weight loss procedures. In reality the truth is diets don't work for severly overweight people and most often the only way for them to be successful is to have weight loss surgery. The following is a portion of an appeal letter I sent to my insurance company after being denied, you may want to share this with them. I have since been approved had my surgery, lost a total of 167 pounds, and gained an entire new life. The best part is I am healthier, and have never been happier in my entire life. Some people refuse to face the fact that the only way for some seople to lose weight and become healthy is with this life saving surgery. Try not to let it get to you. What you are doing is right. Best wishes as you continue your journey. God bless you both, Annette~ The one thing they (diets) all have in common is they don't work for long term weight loss and maintenance. Diet attempts such as these come with their own risks as well, such as Hives, Nausea, The Jitters, Headache's, Dizziness, Insomnia, Fast heartbeat, and Irregular heartbeat just to name a few. Weight loss diets have long been promoted as a permanent cure for obesity, although they rarely produce long lasting or permanent results. According to existing medical research fewer than 5% of all dieters succeed in losing a significant amount of weight and maintaining that weight loss over a period of five years. 90% of all dieters gain some or all of the weight originally lost, and at least 1/3 gain back more. However, although there are major risk factors including but not limited to death, bariatric surgery is a proven permanent weight loss procedure. In most cases, uncontrolled medical conditions are brought under control and often are eliminated or cured. That in turn restores health to the obese person, which in turn saves on the cost of health care in the long run. It also restores the obese person's self esteem and brings them back into the mainstream of life, where they become productive citizens once again. It reduces the welfare roles and strengthens our economy, because we become taxpayers again instead of tax takers. I am ready to make the commitment it takes to lose weight with bariatric surgery. I have exhausted all other means of weight reduction diets. I am ready for a life change, not just another diet. I can and have lost hundreds of pounds in my lifetime. I have never been able to maintain that weight loss. Bariatric surgery is the only way that I will ever be able to lose a sufficient amount of weight and maintain that weight loss for a healthy lifestyle.

Man,That is pretty harsh. Im sure they just dont understand what you are going through and the reasons why you want to make this change in your life. Regardless of what it took for you to get here as family and true friends they should stand by you no matter what. Just know that you should have clear thoughts going into this becasue it seems like you have done everything that you could. In the end you will be much healthier and happier. Dayja 245/213