On and off the fence........

Well yesterday I took off to Hope Well Ranch in Weidman.....second time out there. I got there at about 930am in time to help feed the horses, goats and bunnies. I spent a great deal of time talking to the owner, Jodi...and have decided we are going to be great friends. Which is good- it's what I need right now. More than anything. After lunch I rode Victory (see my website: www.geocities.com/laurelie36/ranch.html) for photos and my blogs......and it was great fun. I got home around 5pm just filthy, and smelled of horse it was GOOD. After being on and off the fence about going to see Dr. DiNick at Barix, I've decided to yank the appointment off my calendar. It's upsetting cuz I want to go really but the $$ just isn't going to be there now. And, I was going to ride down with Erin from here....so it would be cool to meet another fellow loser and share stories. However, it's just not going to be financially possible at this time. And I'm not thrilled about it...the cost of $100.00 for a "administrative/consultation" fee is outrageous to me and you have "NO" guarantees this man will do anything for you. I find myself feeling like I can take that $100.00 and pay bills, buy clothes, or anything else that is a guarantee and not a huge risk. For me, it's just that. A RISK. So I'm not having a stellar day, I'm sore from riding, I'm a little sunburn from being out 7 hours (but not too bad- I did wear spf 50!) ....mainly, I'm just disappointed that ONCE again I am pulling the plug and cancelling.....and I feel like I just want to cry because I really do want to see what he can do..... My WLS Surgeon said he won't even recommend or approve a tummy tuc****il I'm 2 years post op, but now I've got health issues (Osteoporosis in two Lumbar in my back) and so I'm wondering if he might let me do it sooner. I don't feel right going against his wishes......he's just 4 blocks from me and not an out of town visit.... Ugh I hate having to wait but what other options are there? Money doesn't fall from trees so I'm going to just have to wait it out. Thanks, I just wanted to "vent" and share my weekend. Ps, I'm working today 7am-4pm so I'm really already tired!!!

Stacey i know it's upsetting, but look at it this way. You are still going to lose weight, so why waste the time and money right now when you're going to end up with more skin later down the road. My pcp has wanted me to do the tt for the last six months because all of the excess skin is pulling at the nerves in my back and causing a lot of pain. But i refuse to right now for three reasons. 1. i cannot afford to take time off work right now since i have a new job and need to get some time in before i can take a leave. 2. I need to save money so i can have at least a month off, and i'm barely making it now (I have four kids). 3. I am still losing weight, i want to make sure i'm not going to lose anymore . When the time is right it's going to happen for you and you'll be glad you waited. I'm glad you had such a great time and met a new friend. I would love to go horse back riding, but there's nowhere around here to go. I sure wish money fell from trees! Hugs Linda

I know of a ran*****apac....how far is that for you? Also, I'd like to open an invite to you to come this way any time....and plan a day at Hope Well...it's just amazing the work that is accomplished there through mind, body and spirit. And I just feel better being able to say it out loud. It's just not the right time I guess. I hurt, and have back pain, and more than ever have to take tylenol 3 with codeine sometimes the pain is so bad. The nasal spray for Osteoporosis comes in Monday and then that won't help with pain but.....nonetheless I am taking the advice of doctors and such. Thank you for sharing what you did. I agree wholeheartedly. I also know myself, I'm 22 pounds from goal....I want to be around 140 ish. Thanks and hugs back atcha!

Stacey I can understand your point. I would really like to have a thigh lift done but I just cannot justify spending the money on it right now. I could go in and get the tummy tuck but the time is not right for me right now. We are going to be adopting a child. Right now the money I would spend on a thigh lift should go for that instead of my vanity. My tummy tuck will be done in the fall after I get back from vacation. You are not the only one that is putting things off too. Suzanne 300/150

Stacey, So sorry about your decision to delay your surgical options. I think that you will continue to lose weight and see "the right surgeon" all in good time. It is my thought that all things happen for good reason, so we just need to flow with it. I don't know if it from a lack of activity lately or simply too much skin hanging but my back has been killing me the last three or four weeks. I mean to the point that I can't sit through a show at the theatre, didn't make it through a concert on Mother's Day, and can't even sit through a church service either without having to get up and walk around then ending up taking pain meds to finish out the afternoon. I am hoping it is just from the lack of activity that is causing the pain. My Surgeon has given me the green light for the plastic surgery, however just being off from work for three weeks and having a fellow employee having WLS this week, I don't see how I could possibly take the time off for anymore surgery. Hey if you find that money tree, please let me know LOL I need some seeds to grow one of my own!!! Jill

Aw.... Thanks Jill .... I'm sure things will work out. It's just that I had such high hopes for "THIS" summer and now, they won't happen. My life that I had planned to spend at the lake just isn't going to happen with me having sagging skin and boobies. No thank you. I was ashamed when I was morbidly obese, now I'm sick of what things lurk on my body. I doubt anyone could pay me to go out to the LAKE and be on a sea doo or skiing. And I do agree things happen for a reason, but this 100.00 thing just doesn't sit well with me and when you don't have it you just can't go. Thanks Hon..and if I do find that money tree...........I"M NOT TELLING!! lmao Stacey W

Hey Stacey.... I just looked at you and the horses....I love it!! I wish gas wasn't so expensive because I would sure like to go there with you!!! I can't wait to get on the losing side and be able to ride again!! I know how upset you must be about the appointment and the money....but if I were you I would wait a little longer and I am sure things will work out for you. Good things come to those that wait.... Hugs Judy

Dear Judy, It was a blast. Truly phenomenal experience for me...moved my spirit and soul beyond belief. It's good for the horses too! Sometime when you DO have time and can get over here, c'mon over. I'll set it up and see what would work out there for you to come out. Besides, we have all summer! So try to think positive and if you can come then do! Thanks Stacey W