What should I tell my family??

Surgery date was march 6th and my dad is really on my case. My sister has been up north here for the holidays and we have been having a lot of meals together with our parents. My dad is having a fit saying that I dont eat enough to sustain life. How do I convince him that I am right on this issue??

I think that your dad is more scared than anything else. First, he needs to know that yes, this has altered your stomach and the way that you eat. Show him the binder that you got and the instructions for each phase of being able to eat. Make sure that he knows that you are getting your vitimans and protein as needed. If you attend support group meetings, you might ask if he could come to one to have his questions answered. I'm sure that there are many people who have been in the same situation as you are! I am seven months out and every once in awhile my mom will be asking me if I get enough to eat. I still do my protein and such. I hope that others will be able to add their experiences.

This is a toughie.. I guess as gently as you can ask your dad to trust you and to trust your doctor as you are following his advice. If that doesn't work perhaps he could schedule a face to face appointment with your surgeon to discuss his concerns as he may be willing to listen to the doc but not you. And until then again gently & tactfully as possible, ask him to back off. Perhaps explain this is a time for healing and learning not more stress which these "conversations" with him are causing you. The most important thing is to not discount his concerns for you but, becaue this truly is the cause for his comments. He loves you and cares. So instead acknowledge his feelings while staying on the course of your recovery. And as it is said "This is just my 2 cents.." Hopefully he will eventually become your biggeest cheerleader once he can accept the changes in your life. Good luck.. You did the best thing you could for yourself!

Hey there Jennifer, I am still Pre-surgery, but I have a feeling my family is going to be the same way. My family is not in favor of me having this surgery at all. Through the years I have been through a lot with them. I have learned that this is MY life and I need to do what makes me happy. I don't know how often you see your Dad, but it might be easier to set some distance until he sees that you are surviving and you are not dependent on him. I had to do this with my parents when they found out I was in love with someone who was a different race than I am. My psychologist told me that sometimes no relationship is better than the relationship you have. I knew that the relationship I had was more abusive than me standing on my own and chosing not to become a victim of my Dad's verbal abuse. It took a while for them to come around, but they finally did and now our relationship is even better. They let me have my space and in turn I let them have theirs. I think that my family is a bit jealous that I am having this surgery done. the will NEVER admit it and thats ok. Just keep doing whats right for you. Show him the paperwork from your daughter and ask him to respect that. If he doesn't want to respect it, set some distance. It will make you stronger! Good Luck, Jennifer

You probably can't convince him, but you can let him know that your diet is being overseen by nutritional experts. And that you have paid good money (or your insurance has) for the surgery and aftercare. That you have faith in the trained professionals who are dedicated to making you NOT obese. And that you know he means well but that you are using this method to make the changes you can't make any other way. But, if he is like my dad, it is partly a control issue, and you have taken control, making him uncomfortable. I'm planning to eat away from my dad (who is my only nearby family) and sip liquids while he eats, at least initially so we don't have to get into this. I'll let you know if it works.