Only 10 More Days.
Hey Everyone,
I know I don't post much, I'm not a big "talker" I'm actually quite shy. But I do read a lot of your posts and respond when I think I may make a difference. I'm getting more and more nervous. I only have 10 more days until my surgery. I'm excited because I know that this will help me a lot with my health issues. But I'm also scared because Of the major changes this will make in my life. Have any of you had maritial problems because of the surgery? My husband and I are having a rough time right now. He supports me in the surgery because he knows it will make me healthier. I'm just afraid that after the surgery things will get worse with us because I won't be the same person and I know that in some ways I'm going to be a different person. I just don't know if he can handle that and change with me. We've been together since high school and have had our major ups and downs before but this is different. We also have two beautiful kids that I need to think about. I'm a firm believer in not staying just for the kids. That the fighting and unhappiness is far worse than divorce. I'm just at a loss and as surgery approaches I am getting scared that my whole life will never be the same in every way possible. Thank you for listening, I don't really have anyone to talk with about this.
Hi Lindsay
I'm gonna tell you how i felt about this same thing. it could change either way, but change can be a good thing. You are doing this to save yourself, and to make your kids' life better. You aren't being selfish. If he truely loves you, he will stick by you. My husband loves me more now (and is truely in love with me) more than he ever was. once i got the weight off and was finally happy with who i am , it made a world of difference in how happy he was too. I know you hear all the horror stories on this subject, you just have to be determined to let it work out. If you need to talk, email me anytime. [email protected]
Hugs
Linda
Thanks Linda!
I'm just laying low for now. I'm going to do my best to save my marriage. But I also think I am going to let things fall where they may so to speak. You are correct in that if he truly loves me we will work this out. We are both hoping that the surgery will make the necessary changes for us to work things out and continue being married. This is the scariest thing I've ever done in my life and I'm not usually one for major changes. I'm just praying things will work out. Thanks for your thoughts and advivce! I truly appreciate it.
Lindsay
Of course you're nervous. Who wouldn't be. The marriage should be strong to begin with, right? If it isn't anything will make it take a hit. It may be the change in the person or it may be the spouse who doesn't like the idea of a person thatey can't trap. I was lucky. My wife is wonderfull. She used to work for a weight loss surgical office so she know what we go through. Our marriage is strong - we have been together since 1979. she's an old bag but I put up with her.
You'll be fine.
kp
Thanks Kevin,
You are always so very nice when you reply to me. I hope that everything will be fine. Even if it doesn't turn out to be fine, I know it will turn out how it should be. This should make you feel real good, you got married the year after I was born! Had to get you for the old bad comment. Someone has to defend your wife! ;) Just kidding I'm sure you joke like that all the time. Anyway, thank you.
Lindsay
Yeah, I pick on her but I couldn't make it without her.
I have faith in you. You will be fine. You know what you want and how to get there. Make all the peope in your life an active part of your new life.
People near me too responsibilty for me even when it wasn't needed. It made them part of the process and as a result a part of my success.
My kids and my wife worked like a team on me. Kids took care f me during the day and the old ball and chain at night.
It floored me when my oldest boy was waiting for me on the end of my bed to get out of the shower one time after surgery. He had changed the sheets and pillow cases and took care of his bro and the laundry. It was a big step in responsibilty for him and made me feel good that he could handle it.
It helps to know you have people in your corner.
You ROCK!!!!
kp