Frustrated by family

When I told one of my family members about how WLS works they responded: Well, you could eat those things and follow that diet without having the surgery. Just have some willpower and don't eat so much. This from someone whi is just as overweight (I hate the word obese) as I am. This person is very close to me and I would like their support. Her opinion is importnant to me. And for a sencond there I wondered the same thing. Why do I need to have surgery to get myself to do this? Why can't I just be stronger? How do I explain this better to her?

Dear Randi: For me, the choice was to gain a TOOL to HELP me in my BATTLE of MORBID OBESITY which would eventually KILL me. It is a TOOL it is not a CURE. What this allows is for you to EAT SMALLER MEALS, AND TO NOT HAVE THOSE CRAVINGS FOR CANDIES AND SWEETS AND FRIED FOODS, LITERALLY, those cravings are gone. This tool also allows you to rapidly lose weight without much effort but it is maintenance from day one post op and forever. It is not an easy road but one I would encourage to anyone who thrives on food the way I once did so much so it overpowered me to want more and you see, with WLS, you can't say "Today I am going to eat that cake"....you just can't do it. It will make you so sick that you will wish you had not touched it. This tool allows you to have MORE control over what you eat. The way we are taught to eat now, clean your plates, a huge plate of food that it is, would literally make you throw up after WLS because you don't have a big enough stomach for it. Also, this tool, allows you to gain RAPID ACCESS to walking and exercise and you feel you want to do it rather than MAKING yourself do it now. This is not an easy way out, believe me, but a definate tool that is an advantage people who are normal sized simply do not understand. For we, want IMMEDIATE RESULTS, and when WE don't see them, WE GIVE UP. This tool doesn't allow that to happen. In 8 months I have lost 75 lbs. Some others have lost over 100 lbs or more. And they look simply amazing. You don't get hungry, you dont care about food, and it is EASIER to love life now than it was 10 months ago. Just tell them this: THIS TOOL WOULD POSSIBLY SAVE YOUR LIFE THIS TOOL IS IMPORTANT, TRIED, TESTED, AND A POSSIBILITY FOR YOU OR YOUR FRIEND TO HAVE SUCH AN AMAZING LIFE BEYONG WORDS THAT THESE FAMILY MEMBERS POSSIBLY DON'T UNDERSTAND. I recommend you find some profiles of people and print them to show your family. That my friend, is proof. I wish you the best.

Randi You also have to remember something that WLS provides that just eating smaller meals doesn't and that is malabsorbtion. The physical change to your digestive system goes beyond just stomach capacity. If you ask me it takes alot of strength for someone to realize the scope of their problem and be willing to take such a big step as WLS to become the healthier and happier person they want to be. Good luck and God Bless.

What everyone else is saying is very true and real. Also if you say your friend is just as big as you are have you stopped to think that maybe she might be a tad bit jealous? She knows this surgery will help you loose the weight she might be wanting to loose also and it might sting a little to see a close friend actually going through this whole surgery thing. I am only saying this because I too am going to get this surgery in June and my best friend is as big as me too. She has always said and still does that she wouldnt go this route because getting major surgery scares her. But just her seeing that I am going to do it has made her question my actions lately concerning the surgery. She too tells me I will more than likely gain the weight back because she says she knows me too well and knows I wont learn how to eat right. Or she mentions how much skin I would have left over and how that might not be worth it to her. I dont take these comments to heart because I know if I were in her shoes I would be saying the same things. And if she were in my shoes shed be so excited to finally be getting a tool that will help 100% with weight loss. Mantianing the weightloss is another story but there will be weight loss.

My mother said the exact same words to me pre op. She is not overweight though. I think the issue is that anyone can lose weight, but keeping it off is the kicker. With this surgery, you lose the weight and it doesn't come back. At least not all of it. You can regain weight, but most people don't and if they do it is a fraction of what they were before. I have NOT lost my craving for sweets. I don't want McDonalds or other fast food anymore though, and that is the biggest problem for me. Although I never wanted candy before, now I seem to crave it! I don't know why, but I do. I bought some sugar free pecan turtles and that helps. I think my biggest struggle is excersize. I HATE to excersize in an organized manner. If I could play games all day or have a trip where I have to walk I wouldn't mind, but to make myself go to the gym or get out in the cold and walk...... YUCK! I'm hoping warmer weather will help. But I am also slowing down with my weight loss and I still have 80 lbs to go! This is not a Miracle thing it is still work, and if you are not willing to do the work your success is going to show it. I know if I moved more I would be much closer to goal. Don't expect the surgery alone to do it for you, your success will still be up to you. Wendy

i got two things to say to this, 1: one of my best friends had this surgery several years ago and i tried to stick to the same diet he was on. He lost the weight more than twice as fast as i did and he was always full and i was always hungry. I felt like i was torturing myself. and i only made it six months before i just had to start eating some more carbs and once i did, it was over, i lost control and as always regained the same 100lbs i had just lost. the battle was over. he went on to lose over 300lbs. 2: i couldn't do it. i had more will power than most, i HAD to in order to lose that same 100lbs over and over again, how many people can lose 100lbs?! but yet i just couldn't stay slim. it was not a matter of will power. that's a myth. i was battling genetics, conditioning, society, etc. the surgery gave me the advantage i needed to finally get some control over this thing.