What is the matter with me?

Has haviing had WLS made you feel alienated from friends and family? I am telling everyone in my life that I am having WLS May 1st! Everyone is shocked, and a bit wary. I am so excited for this despite all the drawbacks. I keep thinking people will be supportive but really they are all speechless. Maybe it's from reading up on this site and others that has me so confident about my choice, and how it will improve mine and my family's life. Yet, Im mostly getting, "how are you going to do this?"

Kathryn, There's nothing wrong with you. That's the way my friends and family were/are. Even when my surgery got postponed last week my friend/group lead said "Well there are other ways you've lost before on the liquid diets you can do it again. We'll help." They just don't understand someone that has never been in our position just can't put themselves in it. Mostly, though they are thinking that it can be a really dangerous surgery and do you really want to go through it. Jeanne

Jeanne, I too have had this surgery postponed, I had a baby instead and some said it was sign from God. While I dont agree with that, I sure am not going to be the one to say what God has planned - I dont pretend to know.thanks so much

No it isn't you, Kathryn. You know the old saying "until you've walked a mile in my shoes" If someone hasn't been there they just don't understand. That is why this board is so important as well as local support groups. I just won't discuss it with anyone that isn't supportive. You don't need to explain your self or your motives for wanting to have surgery. It is your choice and your body. Just stick with us kid and we will get you thru. God Bless and take care---Toni

Toni, you've posted to me before, thank you!! It has made a tremendous difference. Im sure this is an evolving thing, and hopefully I will learn to just listen and be comfortable in my decisions, despite some naysayers - Kathryn

Kathryn, While I would not say alienated, I would say my relationships have been redefined through WLS. I had no idea the role I played in some peoples eyes....I was the "fat sister", and "fat friend", etc. and never really realized I had a "box" I was supposed to fit into for people. Once I told them I was removing myself from that box...and then actually did it...it took quite an adjustment period, and for some, our relationship will never be as close as it used to be. WLS...and I think beginning when you make the decision to have WLS...makes you bolder, more confident, more in control of yourself. While I've always been a strong-minded person, I showed that I also was weak by the 170# of flab on my body. When I took control of that and no longer showed the weakness people expected, they didn't know how to take me. Those who loved me have stuck with me, supported me, and love me as I am...no matter the size. I can honestly say at 2+ years post-op all this is no longer an issue really, which is refreshing! The relationships in my life have adjusted and all is well! So hang in there, and be sure to lean on your fellow WLS friends for support...we understand when nobody else does!! Kathy

Kathy, it sounde like we have more in common that a first name. I really think the "happy" "funny" "nice" fat friend, sister etc..probably describes my role in a least a few peoples lives. Im very fortunate and do not take for granted my supportive husband, but I still find I fit a role most people dont seem eager for me to leave behind. thanks for your support!

Sounds about right. "I am doing this to take control of my life again. So be my support because I need you now more than ever. When I am through the process and healthier you will see how much better off I am." kp @ goal

Okay, I writing your response down and putting it to memory!!! THANKS Kathryn - btw, there's no charge for that is there?

How about a bariatric shuffle the day after your surgery? kp @ goal