mothers support

I only told my parents,siblings, and husband about my approval for WLS. I'm getting plenty of support from my family. The only one who is not supporting me is my mother. When I told her I was approved a look of disgust came across her face. She says she supports me but you can tell she is not happy for me. I tried to bring it up again and that same look of disgust came across her face. I normally talk to my parents just about every day. But I told my mom if she does not show me any signs of support then I wont tell her anything else about my journey if it bothered her that bad. Again she says she will still support me. My brother invited me and husband over to his house for a BBQ sunday. His fiance told me how her and my mother had went out to dinner a few days prior and my mom told her flat out that she was not backing my decision. I guess I just dont know what to do about my mom. I dont want this to put a strain on our relationship. All advice would be greatly appreciated DAYJA I just want a hug from my MOMMY

Dayja, i so understand how you feel. But you have to remember that you are doing this for YOU, not for her. Tell her how sorry you are that she doesn't understand, and maybe let her research it a little too. But in the end you will be very happy you did this, and i'm sure she will too. Hugs Linda

Thanks so much Linda, I so needed that. She has asthma so she knows what it feels like to not be able to breathe. I have sleep apnea and I really cant breathe at night. I just wish she would see how much wls is going to help me.

your mom loves you and is only worried about you. The media shows all the negative things about wls, so that's probably all she knows. Just keep moving forward , she will come around. Hugs Linda

Congratulations, Dayja...I read your profile and you have been through alot trying to get approved. I can feel how devistated you are about your mother not supporting your decision to get healthy. It has been my experience with the "nay-sayers" reguarding gastric bypass, that they are more miss-informed, than anything. Was your mother aware, that you were seeking approval to have this done? Perhaps it was a shock to hear that you were choosing this path. Does she understand the risks and complications of the surgery, vs the health risks of obesity? Do you have a surgery date yet? Joy

My mom knew that I have been trying to get approved. We have talked about it off and on for the last year. I guess she thought that BCN would just keep saying no. I dont have a date yet. I go see the surgeon for the first time on Monday. She knows what the weight can do to you. We lost her mother from obesity and related illnesses before her 50 th birthday. And my mom sees all of the problems my dad is having. He use to be atleast 400 pounds easy. He is down to about 190. He got sick and lost all of his weight. I dont want to be like my dad. He is only 51 and can barely walk by himself. I know my mother loves me but she sure does have a funny way of showing it

Sounds like obesity runs in your family as it does in mine. I am fortunate to have the support of my family, as both my parents have had this surgery. My father almost died three times prior to getting approved, and there was a very slim chance of survival after his surgery. But he did beat the odds and is down 200 pounds in 1 1/2 years! I have been approved after a year and a half of switching doctors and documentation...surgery is scheduled April 10th! It is a natural reaction your mother is having. She is telling you she supports you...but underneath, she is scared for you. You need to let her know, that this is a decision that you have made and you will go through it with her or without her. In any case, you need to be open and honest with each other...it can only strengthen your relationship. Take her to your appointments or some support group meetings. Perhaps it will put her at ease a little more! Congratulations and good luck, you deserve happiness!

Dayja Are you sure your mom is not acting this way because of her being scared about you having surgery? My aunt has been against it for four years and she stil is and not I had it. My mom said it was because she was afraid I might die during surgery, I really dont know my aunt is over weight and was always less than me I think she is jelous that is how she acts. You have to do what you feel is right if you want this and you believe that it is the right thing for you then that is what you do. I have a very loving but very demanding mother who always seems to be un happy no matter what I do for her but I know its not me that she is unhappy with its her life. Ask your mom what her reasons are? Tell her that this is goin to give you a longer healthier life and ask her if she would rather you die in the next 10 - 15 years. She may change her mind if she know how serious being overweight is. Tell her obesity is the number two killer after somking/cancer You know all of us support you 200% and will be here for you always. Good Luck and I hope she comes around and stops being against it. Angie

Thanks so much for yout support Angie. My dad asked if I thought my mom was jelous of me loosing weight. Me and my mother are close and we do get along but it really makes me sad that she is not 100% behind me. She did just end up telling me that she just does not want me to have any type of surgery. I dont want to go under the knife thinking and stressing about my mom. Im already nervous and I dont even have a surgery date yet (lol) but thanks for the words of encouragement