Having a rough Day

Ok, So here I am doing what i said I wouldnt let myself do! Ive sunk into a pitty me stage and am having a hard time trying to pull myself out... Am I getting my protein? Yes about 75 to 100 a day, Am I getting my Water! Lord yes I feel like I slosh if im not eating or talking Im Sipping. Im taking my vitimins, Ive lost 52 pounds so far, that to me is amazing, My Hubby tells me how good im doing and my kids tell me they are pround of me so WHY am I in the dumps? I am mourning food, I know thats part of it, and I tell myself on a daily basis that Im quite the idiot for thinking that Im missing anything well other that a great big massive Heart attack, or a diabetic coma, but I still mourn food. I prepare my families dinner and leave the house I take a walk while they eat so I don't have to see them, at work when its lunch time and the staff are eating what ever concoction they have brought I excuse myself and walk some more. I make sure that all birthday parties at work and family gatherings I am prepared for the desert portion telling people that Im stuffed and really don't just want one taste that Im sure its great but I will pass.. But still I miss it. I try not to pitty myself I journal and remind myself how many years it would have taken for me to lose the weight ive already lost...Most days are good but sometimes I find myself wondering if I had it all to do over again would I do it? I then feel like kicking myself, because Heck yes I would do it again in a heart beat, But I hate that I have that thought. I know from day one that it would be hard, Ive been doing great NO complications, No blockage, My water goes down great I can handle the protein, I guess I just need to be able to type how I feel and then send it out into Cyber space like Maybe the knowledge of this thought floating around will make it better. ok so with all this said I hope it isnt confusing and running itself into a circle, I just wanted to put it out there. Thank you all in advance for just being here to listen (Read) my rants when Im feeling Blue... (((HUGS))) Love you all Dori

Dori, You are doing great!!!!!!!! I remeber feeling the same way. 1.) You just had major surgery & your insides are all turned around. My surgeon told me it takes 6 weeks to get the anastesia out of your system. 2.) I did the same thing @ the office I would go out for lunch even if I just went to Target & walked around. @home I didn't cook my husband is on his own,but I don't have kids @ home so I guess that was easy to do. It will get better once you can tolerate more foods & relly start seeing the sizes go down. I promise. Linda 309/197/140

Thank you, Im doing better today..thank you so much for all the encouraging words... (((HUGS))) Dori

HI Dori, Lord knows I feel your pain. I am 2 1/2 years out and I remember about two weeks after surgery, I said to myself I can just go to Juan miguels (my fav mexican restaurant) and eat and just kill myself. I wanted to die cause I was mourning food. Today I have lost 135 lbs and feel great, it was worth the pain I felt that day and many more days after that. Remember this too shall pass. Keep walking and sipping, congrats on the weight loss so far. J

Thank you for all the encouraging words... (((HUGS))) Dori

Hi Dori, Sounds like we have lots in common. Our surgery dates are only a week apart, and yes, I went thru the exact same thing as you. Still do. Just wanted you to know you're not alone!!! Beth

Dori, First give yourself a huge pat on the back! You are doing great. If you read some of the last 1/2 dozen entries in my profile, you will see I struggled with at lot of the same things and got really depressed. I am very happy now. So keep you chin up! You'll do great!