OT: Adoption

What agencies did they go through?? Suzanne

The first one was the Frank Foundation and the second one I am not sure...maybe an agency from Michigan. I know that they talked with an agency in Michigan that brings children over for a few weeks in the summer. A friend of theirs adopted 2 boys from one of the summer programs(she wanted older children) and then went back over and adopted her boys best friend a little girl. My friends are wonderful people who love to share their story of adoption. I know that they were really involved in some on-line support groups as well. Just let me know and I can send you their e-mail address. Nancy

Good for you, Suzanne! Yes, this will be a true test of your emotional eating control! I adopted two daughters as a single mom 5 years ago. They were 9 and 13 at the time. My husband and I applied to adopt another daughter, age 7, who is living in our home as a foster child. Her adoption will be final by September. While adopting older children with horrendous histories certainly has its challenges, it is a choice I'll never regret. The blessings outweigh the challenges!! I would dearly love to adopt an infant, but there is no way we can afford to do that. I am currently researching embryonic adoption. I am in premature ovarian failure..no eggs, but could carry a child. I'm very hopeful that we'll be able to do this, as I have always dreamed of experiencing pregnancy. Regardless, I very much feel like a mom!! Good luck to you...and keep us posted! Kathy

Suzanne, I am an adoptee that has 2 of my own biological kids. All I can say is thank God the adoption laws, and social acceptance of adoption is much more relaxed than it was in the 50's. To this day I know very little of my heritage and at the ripe old age of 54 (just turned that age yesterday.. I hope SHE at least thought of me) Though a lot of my ill feelings are now gone there are still many scars from how it was handled during my youth. (GEE can ya' tell? -grin) If I can offer you one small bit of advice DON'T buy into the idea that you have to say over and over again how much you love the child but then add the disclaimer of how special they are due to be adopted. Just say you love them period. After all that is all we all really want in life is to be loved and and to be able to give it with kids it has to be unconditional. Sadly I intrepretted my adoptive parent's love as a contingency of being adopted instead of just being loved for me, who I was/am. Screwy I know but I learned way too late in life that they only did what they were told and truly did love me the best they could and no differently than if I had been their biological or adopted child..

This is awesome advice. Thank you so much!! Suzanne

Suzanne ~ April 4, 2005 my husband and I landed home with our son from Russia. We went to the Krasnodar region (not far from Checnya - eek!). Most regions in Russia are two trip regions. Our first trip was in 9/04 to 10/04 (10 days). We traveled on a blind referral and ended up declining that little boy. I know that sounds cruel, but when you see 'your child' you just know they are the one. Our coordinator found another child available and were to see him on the following day. We traveled the hour long trip and when they brought him into the room we just knew. Our hearts melted. He was six months and one week old. We spent three days with him (about an hour or so each time). In that short time we knew he was our son. We got to feed him, play with him, buy an outfit for him (which was a little big, but that was okay), had our first family picture with him, and my husband cradled him in his arms where our son fell asleep...then we got to see where he slept as my husband put him in his crib. That was the first time our son slept with his hands crossed over his chest. The director at the orphanage said he looked so at peace. A long and draining six months later (we got caught in the law changes) we finally returned to Russia to bring him home. We arrived at the orphanage to take him home when he was 12 months and one week old. Our son doubled in age and that was the hardest six months we had to endure. Several times we wanted to throw in the towel. But we kept seeing that little face and knew we could not do that to him. Based on what I wrote above, I supposed I don't have to answer your question of "the most wonderful thing". The only regret we have is being caught in the law changes and having so much time between our trips. We lost so much in our sons little life. But we have gained so much. Our lives would not be the same without him. And without him, our lives would be incomplete. My husband and I spent thousands on infertility treatments. I finally told him my husband that I wanted a guarantee. I wanted a child, even if it meant adopting. Jacob cost us almost $37,000 (that is everything from hotels, passports, gifts, food, airfare, orphanage donations, drivers, translators, agency fees, coordinator fees, government fees, etc...). You do get an adoption credit. For 2005 Michigan was/is $1200 and Federal was/is $10,400 or so. Michigan you will probably only take once, but Federal you can carry forward until you get the credit amount back, up to five years. Bottom line, the cost is extreme, but Jacob is worth it. Feel free to email if you would like to talk or want more information. Michelle (mommy to Jacob from Krasnodar, Russia)