OT: Adoption

How many of us from the boards are adopted or have adopted children? My DH and I have started our adoption proceedings for an international adoption. I am really excited but really scared at the same time. I know this process is going to be very emotional. It has already showed some evil signs to me, the whole cost of everything is overwhelming to me. But if I could get pregnant my insurance would cover EVERYTHING!!! I was born unable to have children so there is no chance here, and my DH cannot have children either. I hope that I can deal with the emotional demons over the next year or so. I did not realize I was an emotional eater until I was a year out and was dealing with buying a house. If you have adopted have you found it to be the most wonderful thing ever?? Have you adopted internationally or domestically? Thanks for any insight. Suzanne 300/150

I was so moved by your post. I have never married (close tho in 92 but not 'married'), and had cancer in 1991, having to have a complete hysterectomy and could never bear children. The thought of adoption had crossed my mind many, many times. Though I would be a single parent, I had SO much love I wanted to share. I went through a Christian Adoption Agency and it wasn't going to be cheap, as I was well aware. At the time, my family was willing to help me financially. I went through a summer full of classes and met several children and actually at that time, after processing paperwork and background checks, etc., they would actually let me spend the day with any child. I had found a little girl, age 8, whose parents had died many years ago. I fell in love with her. And we bonded. We spent time together and I found myself wanting her in my life more than anything. Suddenly, my job was ripped away from me, and I was laid off, had to move away, and could never adopt her without employment. It took me several weeks to get back on my feet and although I had help from savings, I just could not take on a child. I found myself going back now and then to visit her, and actually offered to her big sis until she finally was adopted. All I can say is God Bless you for taking this on, and I wish you the very very best and I pray for love and peace and guidance in your choosing and finding that special child that needs your love. I acknowledge you for taking this on. Keep us posted. Hugs Stacey

Stacey I am so sorry to hear that things did not work out for you. Just keep your mind open it might happen sometime in the future. Suzanne

We are going to go through China. We applied to Bethany Christian Services. They are based in Grand Rapids but they have an office over in Madison Heights. I cannot wait for the final result. Suzanne

Suzanne~ I think I shared with you before that I am familiar with adoption in two ways. I am adopted myself, as an infant, and my daughter is adopted, also as an infant. My daughter was a domestic adoption. We were "given" another baby first, only to have to give her back after three months because of an error made on the part of the law firm handling the case. The birth father had decided to contest the adoption and no one made a note in the file so she was wrongly placed with us. The silver lining in that awful cloud was that the baby we now have as our daughter was born 2 days after we gave baby #1 back to the adoption agency. We made sure that she was free and clear and that both parents had legally signed the documents that relinquish their rights as parents to that child. Now I can say that it was meant to be but of course hind sight is 20/20. I wish you and your husband the best in this entire experience. There will be many ups and downs but it is worth it when you hold your precious baby at the end. I would be happy to share more of what I know as an adoptee and how we are handling the issue with my daughterif you'd like to e-mail me. Sandra

Hubby and I have 2 biological children, and 2 adopted. One daughter we adoped when she was 2 1/2, the other when she was 9. Both are 12 now. The first adoption was relatively easy. The 2nd has been a lot rougher. Probably due to her age and things she's been through. The emotional ups and downs are there, but worth it in the end if you can make a difference for someone. I'd do it again. Pam

Suzanne, Me dear friend Patty and her husband John this past year adopted a beautiful baby girl from Kosikstan (sp?), it's a country between Russia and China. The process took about 1 1/2 years but it was well worth the ups and downs and hold ups. Grace Elizabeth (Arunna-given name), is the most precious little angel you could ever lay your eyes on. She was 18 months by the time they got her and she has grown so much since they came home just before Thanksgiving. They went through Chris Swartz, and adoption attorney in Saginaw. If you have any questions, I'm sure they would be happy to talk with you. Good luck on your journey. Lots of love and prayers, Susan

Thanks Susan. If I need to chat with someone I will contact you. Suzanne

I have two daughters (ages 12 and 15) adopted as infants from Guatemala. Adopted moms go though a different kind of LABOR! I gained 40 pounds with my first child...and she was adopted! Please feel free to email me privately to discuss any aspect. There are a lot of emotions involved! Cheryl Bigelow [email protected]

Hi Suzanne, Bless you for taking on this journey. My two best friends have adopted 2 boys(at two different times) from Russia. By them adopting these beautiful boys it has led to others adopting other babies as well. If you want to e-mail me privately I will send you their e-mail address. They have a wealth of information and would be a great support system for you. These boys are such a joy. My husband and I just love them so much. I believe that they went through different agencies for each of the boys. Nancy [email protected]