Too ashamed to post

I did have a surgery date of 3/18/05 but about two weeks ago the last half of my funding fell through. I have been very depressed since then and didn't want to post. I have been talking a little with Tami. I was the person she was talking about who's funding fell through. It was very unexpected. I felt like such a failure and like no matter what I did in life I just couldn't get things right. It seems like my life falls that way a lot. So I tried to take off the original surgery date on this site, but the system won't let you remove it, so I just put a date in there. I don't actually have a date anymore. As the 18th gets closer it just makes me feel bad. I have been reading everyone's posting but I just couldn't bring myself to post any kind of meaningful reply. It just really hurts and is hard when you want something so badly and need it and it just keeps getting futher and further from you, no matter how hard you work at it. I have no clue when/if I will be able to have enough for surgery in the future. I've been doing all that I can. Anyway I'm not in a great mood so I should end this post. I don't want it to be depressing in light of everyone who has had surgery/is having it soon and those who are doing so well on the loosing side. I congratulate everyone who has had their surgeries and are doing so well. Keep it up. For those who will be having their surgery soon. Good luck and I know you'll do fine. I'll be here lurking. Just for the record, I think it's a great idea on the fund for those who are in need. I'd be willing to help with it also anyway that I can. Take care all Melissa

OK, so let's do some work and get this going... WE CAN DO THIS...

Oh, Melissa, please don't give up! Tuck the money you do have away and keep saving....or plotting your next move. This is an investment in YOU!!!! Prayers going your way! Good luck, Cathy Fowler

Melissa, I have a date for June 7th and for some reason I keep thinking my money will fall through as well. I am getting a personal loan, but I don't have it yet. Your story really touches close to home for me because similar to you I have a bad feeling about my money coming through. But I have to know that rather it's today, tomorrow, June, or next year I will get this surgery done. If I have to save every dollar I have, then that's what I'll have to do. God has very unusual ways of showing us when it's not our time. Count this as a blessing, dust yourself off and try again. Don't be ashamed. This has happend to a lot of people and I am sure it will happen to many more after you. Just know that you are in our prayers and thoughts and you will get that money in time. Good luck Melissa and try not to be so hard on yourself. My mom's insurance kept falling through before she had this surgery and she had to wait 2 years from the time she started her fight. But in the end she won the long battle and it made the reward even sweeter! Ronda

Melissa, I know exactly how you feel. I had a surgery date of Sept. 28, 2004 and my funding fell through as well. Only someone who has been there will know the hopelessness you are feeling right now. But, hang in there! Keep checking out options. Never give up! It is so worth it. I just had my surgery on March 4, 2005. There is a website called affordable bariatrics. You have to put the www in front and make it all one word, dot com. I am not saying to have your surgery in Columbia, although that is an option for some. When you do contact them though, it you are not approved for their financing, they will send you a list of investors that will finance wls. Maybe you could be approved through one of those. You will be in my prayers! Genie

I wish I were as elequint as these wonderful ladies are. Melissa....we are like one big team. We are here to support each other in good times and bad. Don't ever feel ashamed or not want to come here. Share with us the process and your feelings. Maybe someone here will think of something that will not only help you, but help others who are in the same position. I was there for 5 years and I know all the feelings that you are experiencing. I think the web site Genie recommended is a great idea and so is the idea to start a group that would help people financially. The point is... *huggs ya* your not alone. Many of us have been where you are now and we want to share this with you and help you with it. One person's sucess in our "group" is a victory for us all. DON'T GIVE UP!!!!

Thanks for everyone's reply. I haven't had a chance to check this site all day long. All of us are sick at my house and the baby has been very clingy. I will check out the site. I'm doing what I can on saving money. It's a slow process now. Thanks again for all the responses. I won't have a chance to individually thank everyone tonight.Take care. Melissa