The Stigma of Having WLS in Mexico - Should I/how do I tell my parents? (Going to Dr. Kelly)
Greetings, friends:
So, I'm pretty sure I want to get VSG surgery in Tijuana with Dr. Kelly. Everything that I've read about him is positive and I'm sure he'll do a great job. I'm just starting to get scared. I'm trying to figure out if/how I should tell my mother about my choice. I have a script of exactly how I would want the conversation to go down in the best way possible, but it's just very difficult for me to envision her not freaking out, and demanding that she comes along, and disapproving. I'm independent and capable of making my own decisions, so it sorta doesn't matter. I just am scared because telling her is going to be like opening Pandora's box... once I tell her, there's no untelling her. I play with the thought of just slipping away for a few days to get the surgery done and not telling anyone until it's over and everything's ok, but I also imagine that she would be pretty hurt if I were to do that. And if I were to do it and she found out, that would make things ten times worse.
If anyone here went to Dr. Kelly, would you mind if I messaged you with questions?
Hi there. When I told my parents - they were well aware of the health problems I had, and the future problems I would have if I didn't lose weight. They aren't parents who are quick to give their opinions - unless asked. They were supportive all the way. I only told 2 very close friends as well - who knew me well enough to know the health problems I had - and they also knew that this was not something I was jumping into without giving it much thought and consideration. I did not go to Mexico - but I did travel out of my home province. I did not tell anyone else - except my immediate supervisor at work - because I had to give some rationale for my time off to travel to do pre-op appts out of province as well as the time off I would would need post op. My husband went to Mexico last year for VSG. Anyone we told pre-op - knew his health was precarious and that we knew many people who had gone to Dr. Joya - and knew that I would be going with him - I'm an Emergency Room RN, and knew we weren't undertaking this without knowing all the possible ramifications. In the case of both of our surgeries - we did not tell anyone who we thought may have given negative comments and feedback. It's a stressful enough situation being pre-op as it it - I/ we just didn't need any negativity. It's an individual decision. Now - having said all that - I feel you do need to tell your Mom. And you said you have played it out in your mind what you want to say. Just be prepared and know what you want to say if she does freak out. And - if she does freak out - I think with you explaining why you are doing this and assuring her that you have researched this extensively and are confident in your surgeon and the process - she will come around. I wish you the best of luck!
Mary
Hi there. When I told my parents - they were well aware of the health problems I had, and the future problems I would have if I didn't lose weight. They aren't parents who are quick to give their opinions - unless asked. They were supportive all the way. I only told 2 very close friends as well - who knew me well enough to know the health problems I had - and they also knew that this was not something I was jumping into without giving it much thought and consideration. I did not go to Mexico - but I did travel out of my home province. I did not tell anyone else - except my immediate supervisor at work - because I had to give some rationale for my time off to travel to do pre-op appts out of province as well as the time off I would would need post op. My husband went to Mexico last year for VSG. Anyone we told pre-op - knew his health was precarious and that we knew many people who had gone to Dr. Joya - and knew that I would be going with him - I'm an Emergency Room RN, and knew we weren't undertaking this without knowing all the possible ramifications. In the case of both of our surgeries - we did not tell anyone who we thought may have given negative comments and feedback. It's a stressful enough situation being pre-op as it it - I/ we just didn't need any negativity. It's an individual decision. Now - having said all that - I feel you do need to tell your Mom. And you said you have played it out in your mind what you want to say. Just be prepared and know what you want to say if she does freak out. And - if she does freak out - I think with you explaining why you are doing this and assuring her that you have researched this extensively and are confident in your surgeon and the process - she will come around. I wish you the best of luck!
Mary
I think that you have to tell her! not because something bad is going to happen, is really good to have that support and someone waiting for you to arrived in a new chapter of your life, moms are going to be moms right?? but I mean this is not like any plastic surgery is not for vanity, is HEALTH and there's nothing in this world more important than that, don't you worry about mexico, I had the best experience! much love for you.
Anna R.
Surgery May 2014 in Mexicali
That's a hard one... it's such a huge life altering change WLS that not telling might hurt but... you always need to do what is healthiest for you... stress is not healthy and if telling her is going to stress you out (you know your Mom) I'd just say I was "going on a vacation to Baja."
I will echo the above posters... my Mexico tourism experiences (RNY in 2006, post op plastics in 2007, 2008) were great experiences (well LOL as great as getting your guts rearranged and excess skin carved off can be) and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Best wishes to you. Hope you are happy with whatever you decide.
~Michelle "Shelly"
