Changing my mind

I know how you feel, I have not scheduled my surgery yet but the thought of not being able to eat the foods I love is getting to me. I have always loved food and I guess that is why I am here today, lol. You should not be discouraged because you make mistakes and eat too much while your trying to lose weight. Food is habit forming and when I eat something that tastes so good, I just want to get more, and more. That all comes down to being able to control yourself and what you eat. With the surgery you will have no choice but to learn that control and you will. I believe the hardest part will be the pre-op diet, that will be a challenge for me. I am already cutting back on portions, sugar, and salt to prepare for the diet. I also want to start working ptotein shakes into my daily life to get used to them and test out different ones to find which ones I like and which I don't. I am hoping to have my surgery in late June, and would really like to hear from you regarding your journey from now going forward. Feel free to find me on facebook and we can chat if you want. On facebook look for Bill Hendricks, I'm in Billings Mt.

I too have PCOS. I was sleeved back on January 16th. I have never been regular my entire life. After losing almost 50 pounds already, for the past 2 months, I have been regular without the aid of birth control...and its a magical thing LOL. I am very carb sensitive. You have to keep in mind, that we can all only comment on our own experiences. I have never had an issue with meat. I can eat chicken, ground beef, pork, tuna, steak (some cuts but sits heavier), but I do the best with fish. I can also eat eggs and beans without consequence. Pre op I was a CARB JUNKIE. Can i tell you know that I think about them sometimes, but I really dont miss them. Because, with me, when i eat a piece of bread or pasta, it hurts...I get uncomfortable and I dont want to feel like that ever!

There's a deeper issue with food i feel that you have. I had the same thoughts like you...how can I never eat this or that again. You know how...b/c i got fat not having self control and eating these things. And, Im not going through all of this just to get no where. Try to start focusing on how great life is going to be not in the context of what you will be giving up but what you will be gaining. My final straw was going on rides with my little girl at amusement parks. I was embarrased that either the lap bar wouldnt fit or the shoulder bars wouldnt go down. Guess what...they do now! And i would give up any cheeseburger, pizza, ice cream sundae to know I can spend a day doing those things with my kids.

My focus of activities was always around when, where and what we were going to eat. Now its we will figure it out later, lets enjoy the fun. And you get to have a lick of ice cream or a bite, and you learn to savor. If you are anticipating the issues you think you are going to have post surgery, get a nutritionist in line now. Get a support system in line now. Having these things wil not let you fail. You have to be willing to change habits for this to work. It's not easy, its not a magic bullet. You need to go into this with the right attitude and expectations for it really to be effective.

Preop I didnt feel like doing anything...except sitting in front of the TV and eating. Once the weight starts coming off you get so much energy you dont feel like sitting and eating. You get more and more motivation to NOT eat bad things once you see results. I am sure the people that lost 20/30 and regained weren't honest with themselves, weren't honest with their tracking/eating, or had other underlying medical issues preventing them from moving forward.

Also, with the preop diet...with wanting you to start early. Take a meal that you dont like eating. For me, it was breakfast. All i did was replace that one meal with a protein shake to start. The next week two meals, and so on. Again, we are creature of habits. We are addicited to food, so now its time to get addicted to the new you, new healthier habits! I sound like a freakin commerical LOL.

Clean the pantry out. Dont bring the stuff into the house. THere is a mental element to all of this. But you have to be willing to try. And, we will ALL be here to support you on your journey! I honestly could not have gottent hrough the past 4 months without this community.

Best of luck to you! Give yourself more credit that YOU CAN do this instead of focusing on failing. You can't win if you dont try!

Thank you so much. It is encouraging to see that you have been successful even though you have PCOS. I have been killing myself on this Atkins diet. I had the induction flu last week. I couldn't get out of bed. I felt like crap. I am going to start my pre-op diet tomorrow. You did sound like a commercial, but it's one that I needed to hear:)

I sort of hate telling you this....but you don't HAVE to quit eating the things you (think) you love....unless your new tummy tells you otherwise. Please understand I am NOT condoning eating unhealthy foods. But you will always be able to have a bite or two of something you used to live for. But I caution you: Don't have this surgery if you are content to stay at your overweight/unhealthy self with lots of features of genetic inheritance.

None of us came into this decision knowing how to eat like healthy people do! That's the one thing we here have in common. Many of us share(d) co-morbidities. Many of us had relatives die from complications of just being fat. It's part genetic, part culture, part society, part us.

For me, I didn't have a "whoa" to me. I ate what I wanted when I wanted, having guilt ONLY after I felt like crap from being a pig. I completely admit I was a carb junkie. I could still be if I let myself....to a degree. I am 5 years out this month and am currently struggling (ok well, not struggling but working) to shed about 18 lbs of "not denying myself any carbs" weight. During the honeymoon period, I lost 100 lbs. At about 18 months out I was at my lowest ever. A bite here, a bite there, a missed meal, a slider. It doesn't take much to gain it back over time.

It's as much a mental game as it is physical in my opinion. During the honeymoon I was about 98-99% compliant. Now I'm about 80%. Makes a difference. A difference I can live with? Hell yes, but do I want to? Hell no. So I cut back. Am I starving? Hell no. Does my brain think so? Hell yes. Back to the mental game. I WIN.

Right now I am lunching on the meaty/bean/veggie portion of an Indian Taco. Do you think I want that bread???? OMG yes. But I won't die without it. And if I take my time, and eat slowly like everyone instructs, I MIGHT be able to have a bite of the bread at the end. If I have room in my gut, I'll have a bite. But I probably won't. I'm truly not hungry. I am eating to live.

Every day we all make choices. Be cranky, be sweet, be funny, be depressing, be timely, be late, make excuses, lie, cheat, steal from ourselves. Okay so I went a little overboard. But the point is we all make choices. When we go through the McD's drive-thru, we make choices. Learn to make BETTER choices. Believe it or not, and I know this is hard, you CAN eat a hamburger or cheeseburger WITHOUT piles of fries. You can eat a burger WITHOUT a bun! Taco salad without the tortilla. Chinese food without the rice. I know, right???

To make this new life work with a small stomach is to make better choices every day. I know I can go to any restaurant or convenience store or grocery and find a GOOD choice. Yes, ANY restaurant! It's kind of a bonus that we don't have to stress over food and groceries all the time!

It's great that you're doing a food diary--it's beyond helpful just being accountable for what we put in our mouths. Most of it (especially presurgery) is completely unconsciously. Do I think you can maintain a lifestyle to lose 100lbs? Maybe. I don't know you--but your history sounds familiar to a lot of us. I know FOR ME that losing the weight without surgical intervention was impossible. Some lucky people just have to quit eating large quantities in order to shed pounds. That wasn't my luck. I could NEVER keep it off.

I know I'm all over the place here with my long rant, and I apologize. I had surgery because I knew I couldn't do it by myself. I wanted someone else to make the choice of my stomach size because I hadn't had a good judge of it from day one. I wanted to have the best tool ever to help me maintain my health. I wanted to be responsible.

Again, this is a mental game of the utmost proportions. You will find, though, that you will start reading labels and doing comparisons and choosing the correct foods to help you through your journey at least in the short haul...through the honeymoon period which is about 15-18 months in my opinion. It's then that you HAVE got to have a handle on your eating. Will you gain it all back? Unlikely, simply because you don't have the capacity anymore. But will you gain some? Of course it could happen. But the goal is to learn how to eat, make every bite count towards the goal and along the way you find that all that crap you really used to down at any opportunity isn't quite how you'd remembered it. That you CAN live without crap.

Your daughters will have a fighting chance at not becoming their mom or their grandmother if they join the healthy food bandwagon with you. Keep the crap out of the house--watch the osmosis begin to happen. Nobody likes a nag, but seeing someone accomplish goals with good tactics is the best influence ever!!

awesome post

Lisa,

Thanks so much I needed to hear this. I feel like you know me, oh so well. I thought I could lose the weight on my own, and I was worried about maintaining it. I have struggled to lose this little 15 lbs this month. Today is the day that I need to make up my mind. I have to let my coordinator know if I changed my mind so I can get my deposit back. I think I knew all along what I needed to do. This is one of the biggest decisions I have had to make in my life. I was sitting in my room today thinking, contemplating if this is the right decision and I started to cry. My 10 year old came home from school and I heard her come in so I tried to pull myself together. She came in my room and I had my back to her and she could tell something was wrong as soon as I said hi. I started explaining that I was having a difficult time making up my mind concerning the surgery. She said mom I just want you to be healthy, I don't want you to die when your 50 like grandma, I want you to be at my wedding and see my kids grow up. That made me cry again. I know this journey is not going to be easy and there may be days where I don't make the right choices, but I think this is something I need to do for myself as well as my family. 

AWWWWWWWW !! There's a little bit of all of us in all of us, right??? I do not think you could make a better decision for you AND your babies!

I just want to thank everyone for their support and encouragement. It means a lot to me. I think I knew all along what the correct answer was. I was letting my fear interfere with my decision. I felt like choosing the surgery was saying that I am weak, I am powerless over my life and my choices surrounding food, and that I don't love myself or my family enough to get my **** together. I had to remind myself that this is a disease, a disease that I have had and been fighting with my whole life. If someone has cancer and they needed surgery... we wouldn't think twice. Why is obesity any different? 

My boyfriend keeps telling me to wait another year. To try to lose some weight on my own and if by next summer I have not lost weight then I should have the surgery. He said that I am not mentally prepared. Are we ever mentally prepared for such life changing events? Some of the most difficult things I have done in my life have been the most rewarding. I think I will add WLS to the list. I know he has my best interest at heart and he is worried about me having this surgery, but I really feel like I would just be postponing the inevitable. I think a year from now I would probably look back and want to kick myself in the @$$ for not doing this sooner.

I will be starting my pre-op diet tomorrow. Wish me luck :)

Well guys this pre op diet has been easier than expected. I am so nervous that the thought of food makes me sick. I haven't been able to eat anything, not even my salad and meat. I have been living on water for the past 3 days. I fly out tomorrow morning and my surgery is on Friday. Please keep me in your prayers.