Fence sitting

Here I am still sitting on that fence. I have 1 leg on either side of it. I am having such a tough time making this decision. To have the surgery or not? My only (and major) fear is dying during the surgery. That is the only reason I have not made a final decision. How did you all come to a final decision? I just can't. I have thought about everything and still can not get committed. I continue to go to the required appointments just incase I do finally have that kick that turns the lightbulb on. Why can't I get that overwhelming feeling that this is the right thing? Robin

Hi Robin, I know how you feel. I was the same way. I really was concerned about dying. No one can ease your mind about that. It is something that you have to be aware of. BUT I attended a support group one night and heard a gentleman talk about having funeral arrangements prepared and his will all ready, his things in order should anything happen. The thing he was not preparing for was the possibility of complications. He did end up with complications and he lost weight. He was a year out and had all his wieght off he looked & felt wonderful. He said he would go through it all again to get where he was. So I learned to try and put the death issue in the back of my mind and be more positive about it. I did go through with my appointments and had my doubts from time to time. But I eventually started looking forward to the surgery. I was anxious to be losing weight. I also knew that I would not be enjoying my life like I was and there was the possiblity that I could drop dead from weight problems without the surgery. The other thing was I could end up walking out my door and getting into an accident and dying. There are more positive outcomes than negative with the procedure. The decision needs to be yours. Noone can make up your mind. You do need a positive attitude going in. Along with faith that all is going to be well. You will know in the end if it is for you or not. I know I was influenced by everyone around me. I found people who were not educated about the surgery were negative about it. People who were are very positive for the most part. Do not think your alone in being nervous or having doubts. Everyone is nervous about having surgery. If you know you can lose the weight & keep it off by yourself then DO NOT have the surgery. You will figure it out by the time it is all said and done. Take Care, Janine

Hi Robin You are doing the right thing in taking your time to make a decision. This is a life altering experience. I knew that I had to do something before I had more medical complications. I did not want to become an invalid for my husband to take care of. Strokes, heart conditions and high blood pressure run in my family. I feel that being morbidly obese is only death waiting to happen for me. I tried every diet in the book. Nothing seemed to work for me. I was diagnosed with severe Sleep Apnea and that scared me into realization that things were probably not going to get better. I made the decision and moved forward with it. I kept a positive attitude and kept the faith. I feel that having both are the key to success with this surgery. Of course, I did think of the complications that could occur with surgery, but I also thought of the consequences if I did not have the surgery. It's such a personal decision. I also do not have children, that could have made a difference. It's a tough call. I, too had made all necessary arrangements if I was not to survive the surgery. All surgeries have their risks. Again it's a decision you have to make. I don't know if this will help you. Best of Luck Nancy

My attitude has always been, and remains, that surgery or not, when your called, it will be whatever you are doing at that time. A long time friend was killed Sunday night in a car accident and I am a strong believer that it was his time. At that very second, no matter what he was doing, I still believe it was his time. Surgery is risky, but if the good Lord isn't ready for you yet, he won't call for you. I probably sound like a freak for feeling that way, but it is something I always believed in. I think we all had doubts at one time or another on this journey, but I believe almost everything we do in life is a risk. I didn't want to die during surgery, but I wasn't afraid. I figure if I leave it in God's hands, he will do what he feels is right.... I hope you find the answers you are looking for. It is not a decision to be taken lightly. Follow your heart. You will come to make the right choice... Kell

Janine, You are right. It could happen any time. I just don't want to cause such pain to my 2 year old grandson. Nancy, I am glad you agree that I should take my time to make the right decision. It IS a life altering decision. My husband wears a mask at night for his sleep apnea. I've been sleeping with an astronaut for years. He too is going through this procedure with me. Thanx for the thoughtful reply to my post.

Hi Robin, I think Janines post was perfect. You have to be ready for it, only you can decide if it is right for you. For me I never even considered death. I guess because I had gone 3 c-sections with no problems what so ever I figured that I would not die during wls. Maybe a naive way to think but it worked. I do remember the first thought I had on waking was "well guess I didn't die" and then chuckling on the inside. As far as complications, once again, I figured my body would be fine, that if there was a complication it would come from the surgeon. I trusted him completely and felt safe in his hands, so once again, no worries there. I was very calm before surgery, just the pre-op with the epi made me nervous. Take your time, even when you finish all your appointments and get approved it does not mean you have to set a surgery date right off. Talk to your surgeon about your fears, that might help some. Good luck! Theresa

Theresa, I loved your response to my post. I will continue through with my appointments and meet with the surgeon. Then I will see how I feel about the whole thing. Thanx so much Robin