10 year reunion

Hey all, Heidi here. I posted a bit about this on my little profile page, but I would like some feedback. I have, ugh, a 10 year high school reunion that is happening in August. Now, normally, I'm sure there is a little bit of freakout that happens with reunions, but I am REALLY nervous! Actually, I don't even know if I'm going to go, even though I paid for my fiance and me to attend. There are two reasons - 1) I am much more, uh, expansive, than I was in high school, and 2) I am nothing like what I was in high school, and therefore didn't acheive what I told everyone I was going to do. You see, I was the music geek in school, and attended a music conservatory after. Everyone thought I was going to be this big singer. But, I came down with an unfortunate illness that ruined my dreams of becoming an opera star. I'm on disability now, and I'm afraid people are going to think less of me. Plus, (or should I say, plus size?) I am about 100 pounds more than I was then. Will people think badly of me? Should I go? Has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing? I am trying not to think about it until I absolutely have to (i.e. - the day before), but if I go, I'll need a cute outfit, and that requires planning. I'm such a girly girl.... HELLLPPP!!! Waiting on (everyone's!) approval, Heidi

Heidi, I always hesitate to post reply's because I am always afraid I am going to sound like a dork, but here goes anyways. Ultimately, as you know, the decision is up to you---but I wouldn't worry too much about everyone thinking less of you because you didn't achieve what they or you thought that you would. Sometimes things happen that are out of our hands--and that sounds like it is the case with you. I always wanted to be a cop and worked as a cop for several years before a seriouis knee injury ended my career--I was crushed and for a long time was afraid to face anyone I knew from school because I was afraid of what they would think of me. I had a friend who was also a cop, who was shot and killed in the line of duty and I was afraid that people would think that I got out of police work because I was scared (which I wasn't). But--only you know the real reason why certain things in life don't work out the way you thought they might. As far as being heavier than you were in high school--if you go this year and people notice that you are heavier than you used to be----just think about what they will be saying at your NEXT reunion after you have had surgery!!! Anyways, I don't know if I made any sense or not, but I hope that I might have helped in some small way. Jill

Thanks, that helped a lot. It made me feel better about the situation for the first time. Of course, I've had people tell me, "Ah, go ahead, don't feel bad about it," but hearing you say stuff that related to my stuff... well, I just feel better about it. I still don't know if I'm going to go though, but at least a feel a little better. -Heidi

Heidi, I know just what you're saying. I would avoid, at all costs before surgery, going to my "home town" with the thought someone from school might see me huge. It's so odd that we actually care what these people think. Personally I don't know if I would have gone to any reunion before surgery. Actually now that I think about it I wouldn't have. But now, oh ya I would. I guess what I mean to say is, you don't have to feel like their acceptance of you is going to really mean anything. You know who you are, where you have been and now where you are going. Hell, I know you're cool! So, in the end it is up to you...but you might find that those "popular" people are not going anywhere in life, and that in itself would be worth it to me to see. Goodluck! Casey Lane Bryant has cool "plus" clothes, you could get a hot outfit there for sure. I wish I had shopped there before surgery, I always got the cheapie mens jeans from Wallyworld and ooky Just My Size plus size t-shirts.

What you said makes sense. I still feel weird about it though. Maybe I will chill out as it approaches.... (yeah right!) Or, perhaps, I won't be able to go anyway, because that is just around the time I'm supposed to have my surgery. This may all solve itself! But, if I do decide to go, I will be hitting Lane Bryant. The dresscode is "casual", so I can't get all fancy. I don't want to just wear a t-shirt and shorts, though. Maybe a casual long skirt and a top. Decisions decisions! -Heidi

Personally, I hope you go. But....I have never been to one of mine. I was a "babe" in HS and just couldn't handle showing up looking as I did for my reunions. I'm not proud of feeling that way, but that is the honest truth. Plus--everyone that I hung out with was in the older grades so I am not sure I would have known anyone. I think I have a ways to go until my next one--who knows what I will decide for that one. Good luck to you in whatever you decide. Lynda ME/FL

Heidi, I am in the opposite situation as you. My 10-year class reunion is next year and I weigh considerably less than I did back then due to the surgery. Last time I saw my most of my classmates, it was in 1999, 4 years before my surgery. I really can't wait to show up to my reunion and wow everyone! And like someone said, Lane Bryant is a great place to get clothes, but personally, I swear by Fashion Bug and now that I'm smaller, I can get my clothes at Wal-Mart. Also, don't worry about people thinking less of you because you are heavier, if they do, they're so not worth your time. I felt the same way when I went to a former classmates funeral back in 1999. I was so heavy then...but people generally treated me nicely. Hope this helps! Laura W