EMMC updates...

I just wanted to say I am sorry for your loss and sorry for Shannons family. Please understand that no one is trying to make light of what has happened. In her first post Casey was simply telling us what they were told at the support group. I am glad she did, I missed the group and really find them interesting and helpful. As for who is at fault for the death of your freind. Well yes, if there was a leak then it would be the surgeons fault. But look at his statistics,they are great. That is one of the reasons I chose him for my surgeon. The program they have is wonderful, another reason I chose him. We are warned over and over of the complication that could come up. I have heard good and bad, but weighed the pros and cons and in the end went with him. I have had no problems (thankfully). In the end, no matter how much we debate this, your friend is gone. I am certain that Dr Clough is hurting, he is an extremely caring person. In fact I bet he is wondering what else he could have done not to let it happen. My sorrow is with everyone involved in this tragedy. I pray god gives them strength to get through it all. Theresa

Sometimes people need to vent their anger through this immense grief. Obviously, many people--family, friends and the UCB community are all terrribley upset with Shannon's death. Blaming, anger, saddness are all a part of this type of grief when a young gifter woman, mother and wife dies so suddenly. I am part of the UCB community and someone who does not have children and had the surgery on Dec. 4 2004. I don't regret the surgery at all. I do however, don't understand what happen and why and I have survivors guilt. If the universe and God was fair, I should have died in December and Shannon should be recovering today at home with her family. I am worried for this site. AOL has a a similar site and when a young woman died in Coon. right before my surgery--her best friend wrote and said terrible things about the operation, the surgery etc.....The problem became, everyone started to react to the negative posts and it turned very nasty. People will post what they will post. One can read them or ignore them. People perceive and feel what they feel--I can't change that. All I can do is bless those folks in their grief and understand it is where they are right now. And, every individual has a right to their opinion, to their feelings and I hope folks don't over-react to the anger and sorrow--its normal and this is a terrible, abnormal situation. Rumors will fly, people will react and frankly I need and want this site to allow what needs to be said and for all of us to make up our own minds and not overly personalize anything that is written. If not and if this becomeds nasty or abusive in any way, then one connects to obesity.com and report what is happening. Let's do what we do best and support and pray for ouselves, our peers and those who don't make it. I am hurting by all of this too and am trying to just be present and reflect and to pray. I attended the dinner last week at UCB for Shannon. I could not stay--it was too overwhelming and sad. The other thing I can do is to share my experience of what my journey was to others, never advise anyone to take my same steps, --but what I do is tell them to do the work to make themselves ready for this dangerous surgery. No one is perfect, the medical staff is not perfect, we are not perfect, life is not perfect. And, God willing, Shannon's death will not be in vain but will teach all of us some valuable lessons. Be kinder and more supportive to one another and understand the grief that has overwhelmed so many people. Down with being defensive---it stirs the feelings up even more. Blessings to all,(and, I'm not a religious woman at all) Jane