gotta love opinions!

As surgery gets closer and closer my lips are getting looser and looser about sharing my plans for weight loss surgery. I started out this journey pretty tight lipped. I really didn't feel it was anyones business any more than any other surgery needs an announcement. I also felt like until it was a definite and I was all approved and scheduled I wasn't going to even entertain opinions of others. I obviously shared my plans with my husband, my mother (who had RNY in 2005) and my therapist...along with a couple of close friends. Other than that its been on the down low. When my surgery was approved last month I decided to let my grandmother in on the plans....knowing full well that within 24 hours everyone within the continental US would know. I figured this was a way to let it out without me going around announcing it...I really didn't want to make it into such a big deal. 99% of my family and friends are supportive of whatever I choose to do whether they agree or not. It feels great to have so much support since I wasn't really sure what people would think. One of my aunts did sent me a facebook message saying she "had heard I was planning to have surgery. It is a major decision and one that you can't undo so be sure you really want to go down this road". Today I shared very casually with my stepdaughter's grandmother that I was having weight loss surgery. We share custody with her as a way to keep my stepdaughter connected to that side of her family since her mom is absent. I told her the date just as though I was giving her a heads up to a scheduling need for visitation. She says "oh which one are you having" I say RNY...she says "oh it is not going to be anything like you think its going to be" You are going to need a major recovery time and it is no picnic. You are going to be so surprised how different it is" SERIOUSLY PEOPLE? Come on! First of all I am a Nursing student!!! I have cared for gastric bypass patients and lap band patients before! I have studied far more about weight loss surgery than the average joe and even if I hadn't...why do either of these woman assume I am so ignorant that I wouldn't have looked into it thoroughly? UGH! I really didn't give them much room for their opinions and that seemed to have shut each of them up. Honestly I am quite pleased with the majority of reactions I have had so I am not getting down about it but geez!  

I know for me, I didn't talk about it much until I had a surgery date.  My family, a couple friends, and my boss knew what was going on.  But there was some drama around my prep work that required my employer to know (especially since I work for a hospital.)  When I was first entering the program last year, and I had bloodwork done up in the spring, my doctor found some weirdness, and sent me for an ultrasound, and then a CAT scan.  The result of which was that I was diagnosed with liver cancer.  This led to more tests, to find out how bad, how big, where it might have started (since liver cancer is usually secondary, it usually spreads there from somewhere else), a few more CAT scans, a "nuclear red-blood cell test", trips to Boston for more tests and visits with oncology specialists at the Lahey Clinic, etc etc.

A local surgeon (whose name you would know, but I won't get into that here) was insistant that although he wasn't 100% sure I can liver cancer, he repeatedly told us that the only way to know was surgery.  I sought out second opinions (which is how I ended up at the Lahey Clinic).  The expert at the Lahey Clinic, after two series of tests three months apart, told me I was fine, I didn't have liver cancer.  I had a hemangioma (a collection of blood-vessels, like spagetti, bunched up inside my liver).  But even as recently as January, Dr. Toder wasn't convinced.  She referred me to another expert in liver oncology at Mass General that she trusted, and I went there, MRI, etc etc.  After that visit, she was convinced, and agreed to go forward with the RNY procedure (March 3rd).

You can see there was some drama around my year going through the program...But Dr. Toder was great, and I really appreciated her bluntness and honesty.  And because of everything that went along for me, more and more people needed to know.  Boss, work, blah blah...

But, people were very supportive!!!  THAT was awesome!!!