advice, please?

I need to know that this is normal. I am losing, and I have this very very strong desire to lose. I understand food now, have thrown myself headfirst into knowing what works and what doesnt. I am 10 days away from surgery. And I am wondering...could I possibly do this without the surgery? Honestly, I have never "gotten it" before. I have never counted calories, and yet still eaten well. I am wondering if MAYBE I shouldnt pull out of the surgery "for a few months" just to see what I can do for myself? I am 285 right now. I was 315. I am not struggling with the foods I can eat/not eat, I just feel smart, capable, aware, and powerful. Like I really think maybe I could do this without the surgery. I have a new relationship with food. and it isnt a diet, it is an awareness. I dont even want to cheat. I have never felt so sure that I could do this before. Is it normal to think this way?

That's a question only you can answer.  You are in the drivers seat and can call the shots on this one. Surgery is a big step and not one to go into if you have doubts.  You can always delay your procedure.

Some self assessment is also in order. Is this the pre-op jitters? What happens when the calorie counting gets old? Or you get upset, stressed, overwhelmed? What have been your stumbling blocks in the past? Are you prepared to deal with them in a different way than before? Talk with the dietitians, Dr. Toder and your support system (us).

Good luck, what ever you decide.

it isnt jitters. I guess maybe it is surprise...like, is it really THAT easy? I have "dieted" but I have never really understood food. I know more about proteins and carbs and ghrelin and metabolism than I EVER knew. and I wonder a fair bit if THAT is the tool. I also know that I still want the surgery, but I think it is better to really think about these things NOW than come back a yr from now and wonder. I am a turn every stone over kinda girl. Mostly, I just have this overwhelming sense that for the first time ever, i GET this, and I might have a decent chance of beating it, with or without the surgery. That said, I wish I had figured it all out a year ago, in the earliest stages of this journey, I would have used that time to prove to myself if I could or couldnt do this. It has been a progression. Frankly, it is only within the last 5-6 weeks that I got it. and I havent looked back, Im exercising every day religiously, Im watching every bite, reading labels. It started when I realized that 2000 calories, what I had been "restricting myself to" was really a LOT of calories. I moved to 1500 easily, it was just better planning. and then this liquid diet. I expected to be starving to death. Im not. Its planning, willpower, and faith maybe. And it may be short lived, but I really dont feel it will be. I feel like I am almost looking at my old habits in disgust. But more like a parent, patting the old me on the head, saying "you GOT it, kid, you got it". I am not hungry, I am not depriving myself. Im just eating differently, more aware. And I cant help but wonder if I maybe have it in me to do this without the surgery. I still want the surgery, but it seems odd to me that I am suddenly full of faith in ME.

I felt that way before surgery too, it's a big deal and it's normal to be scared.  Only you can decide if you want to postpone and try one more time.  If you are like most of us there have been many diets, many exercise plans, many vows to do better and look where we all ended up.  You have to come to peace with your decision one way or another, good luck!  Keep us posted.  I would definitely call and talk to someone in the program about your feelings.

Tami

thanks Tami. i intend to call tama tomorrow, she has been a Godsend to me. But in a way, she has also created the problem, lol. shes taught me SO much about my own body. and you know, the flat out truth is, I have "dieted". But I have NEVER ever been so clear on what I want, how it works, and what I need to do to lose weight. (except, Im NOT so clear on what to do surgery-wise) This is a very strange feeling. I know it sounds cliche, but I feel powerful. I dont feel like a failure. I feel like I had the big AHHA moment and now it is just a matter of time. so, quick....via surgery? or a little more drawn out, via diet and exercise? THAT is the question.

I definitely think it's normal to think that way.  I lost about 40 lbs. on my own before surgery - and a lot of people asked me why I didn't just do it without surgery.  But I knew I couldn't.  I could lose weight no problem, but keeping it off is the hardest part - even WITH surgery.  The cold hard fact is that 95% of people who need to lose 100lbs. or more will gain it back using "traditional" diets.  Of course that means that 5% are successful, and maybe you'll be part of that 5%.  Only you can answer that and I wish you luck no matter what you decide.

I SO appreciate your help, ladies. I kinda figured this was a normal emotion. I spent time looking at before and after pics tonight, and of course, the pendulum swings. I wish my BF was more ok with this, he supports me, but it is with a look of sadness and resignation. He is scared I will hurt and he wont be able to help me. I think I will be ok. As of tonight, I am thinking I will stay on track and move forward as planned. 9 more days.

Only you can answer this question for yourself and it's a tough one!  I wish you luck!

I, too, lost weight pre-op, to the tune of about 52 pounds.  I kept asking myself, "If I can do this now, with what I have been taught, why can't I do it without the surgery?!?!?!"  For me, I KNEW that I could lose the weight, but after a while, I would lose my motivation and get complacent with my eating.  I am also a stress eater and a boredom eater.  I know what my issues were and are.....even WITH the surgery!  It's not easy, with or without the surgery.  YOU can be a success EITHER way...it's up to you!   Good luck with your decision.......

thanks Ruth, it helps.

Have you come to terms with a decision yet? You will decide what's best for you at this point in time. That's all any of us can do.