Sabotage?

Ok so I love my wife dearly but I keep telling her she needs to stop buying me things I'm learning to live without, such as candy, pizza, etc...Anyone else have a spouse that for some reason knows your going through this process but yet still brings this stuff home thinking you want it while knowing you can't have it?  I am closing in on getting a surgery date (probably in the next month or two) and i've made my decision to have the surgery and continue preparing myself but it makes it hard when this stuff gets brought into the home.  I tell her to get rid of it because I'm not going to eat it so I don't know why she keeps buying it....any thoughts or similar situations out there with you all?  She is very excited for me to have the surgery and supports my decision, so I am not sure why she is buying all this crap lol

Has she read your book yet.    That is where i would start. and good luck too you!!!  

I think she's trying to be supportive but doesn't know how to give you treats. Maybe you can start a coin jar for new clothes for post op and ask her to put the money she'd spend on a candy bar into the jar.

My husband had the surgery 4 years ago and I probably did things like that which drove him crazy.  I would buy stuff for me or the kids or everyone and it was probably very sabotaging to him (he did well, lost and maintained over 100 lb loss).  For my part it was ignorance and oblivion and not wanting MY life to change.  Of course now 4 years later I am on the verge of having the surgery and feeling bad that I wasn't more helpful to him at the time.  I think if you just have a really honest conversation with her about your goals and how it makes you feel when she does it etc  If she's buying for herself ask her to keep it hidden from you, if it's for you then it's not a choice.  It has to stop and you have to tell her why and let her know how much you need her and exactly what you want her to do (or not do) we aren't mind readers.  Good luck, I hope she's receptive to the talk.

Tami

I am married to a wonderful man who has never been overweight in his life and can and does eat anything under the sun.  He loves his sweets and snacks!!  I found it very hard, at first to continue buying these things for him.  BUT, I figured that he shouldn't have to go without just because I can't or shouldn't eat something.  I usually try to find substitutes (Light Lay's potato chips instead of the regular ones or Only 8 frozen yogurt instead of ice cream) so that I don't feel as deprived and he can still have the things he likes too.

I would have a chat with your wife too....explain what you can and can't have and why.  If she still brings the stuff into the house (for her) try to find substitutes that can fit into your plan.

Good luck.

Mine didn't want me to have the surgery. He has since changed his mind. I don't dump and so if he brings home junk I ask him if he plans to eat it and when. If he says he doesn't want it I open the trash and dump it in. He's learned to stop bringing it home. I know it seems harsh, but I CANNOT control myself. I even cru**** up and put it in the trash, not in the package because I know I would dig it out and eat it.

She doesn't know what you can have. The notebook reading is a good suggestion.

Ask her to include some sugar free popsicles, S.F. fudgesicles or yogurts for your treat.  If she wants the snacks herself perhaps she could purchase only enough for 1 serving for her so that they aren't there tempting you.

wait till after surgery thats when the fun starts , my wife was great in the start but then the battle of overprotection came in , now i here things like i dont eat like u , sorry if your not hungry and why dont u eat are things that come too mind . it is a batttle last night i eat even when i was not hungry , and the smaller i get the worst things are becoming someday maybee it will come around , but  i would not change my rny for the world