Vain and Self-Centered

That's what my 15 year old said I was today.  Vain and self-centered.  Apparently, before I got "skinny", I stayed home and never did anything.  Now, I go out and do stuff with my friends and I'm living my life.  I guess I didn't get the memo that said I had to get my plans approved by my teenager .  Those of you with older kids, have you had some backlash along with your physical and mental changes?  Of course it's all fine with her when she wants to wear my clothes .  Hope you're all having a better day than I am!  I just keep telling myself that "this too shall pass."

I haven't had to deal with quite the same issues but I understand about having a teenager at home.  She was fine when we were "sharing" clothes...now that I am smaller, she doesn't enjoy clothes shopping with me anymore...go figure?!  I think you DO need a life!  Try to involve her in some of your plans (I invite my daughter to go places all the time....even if it's with my friends......I don't drink, really, so most of the time, my plans are pretty kid friendly!)   Kids are very self centered and want what they want when they want it.  It'll get better!  Keep your chin up!

Good luck.!!!!!  Teens are hard.....with or without WLS!!!!!!!!!!!

Although I don't have a teenager, this is the age that I teach (well 12, 13 and 14)  For some reason at this age, it seems that if the world doesn't revolve around them than YOU are the one who is to blame for it.  I think what your daughter is going through is probably absolutely normal.  For the first time in her life, she sees her mom enjoying life.  For the most part, teens don't like change at all and seeing you changing isa challenge to what she knows as "normal".  I think you are really modeling a better behavior for her to learn from now than before.  She's sees her mom making healthier choices and leading a fuller life.  She probably is just uncomfortable because this is totally foreign to her.  She knew the heavier you probably most of her life and now that you've changed, she's having a difficult time figuring out her role with all of this.  Be patient and reassuring with her, but continue to live your life and be happy.  Don't forget to talk with her frequently showing interest in what she's doing.  She may or may not engage in conversation with you, but just showing her you care about her life is important.

Most importantly, be happy.  A happy mama makes for happier kids!  Hang in there.

My kids are 3 and 5 right now.  I am really not looking forward to parenting teens.  It's a lot of work, isn't it?

I love my children, but if I had to do it over again... don't think I would.  The years between 12 and 20 are horrendous!!!!  Good luck, she is just jealous, and guess what?  There is nothing wrong with having a life of your own.

all I can say , is be honest, sit and talk, do things together, movie, shop... one day she will come around and want to be with mama.... my DD is 32 and and SO independent she dont talk about her problems,  I guess I raised an independent girl, but she might wait till her problems are to far gone for us to be able to help.  Like 3 months behind on college loans.  you just never know.  Oiyyyy, I worry more now then I ever did when they were kids.

Thanks ladies.  It's just so tough sometimes.  And it's hard because we're both stubborn, especially when we're both hurt and licking our wounds.  Today has been better, and we did some shopping and whatnot.  Hope everyone is having a good day!

Glad to hear that today was a better day.  Sometimes a little retail therapy goes a long ways.

My daughter was 16 when I had the surgery.  She has trouble with her weight as well.  She has told all of her friends that "I took the easy way out".  She watched me struggle after surgery and continue to struggle, but " I took the easy way".  Drives me batty.  I am selfish now!  I didnt care about myself, nor did I take care of myself before and that is why I let myself get that way.  Too busy taking care of everyone.  Well, now I have to take time and do things for myself.  I am a much happier person for it.  My boys seem to be good with it.  They don't seem to remember me being overweight even though it has only been 2 years.  There is hope.  Don't give up.   Missi