where did you loose your confidence?

I'm not sure exactly where, but I would guess, from my mom.  she always told me I was stupid and ugly.  my sister was so smart and Gorgeous.  we never had a relationship till now.  (me and sister) I realize it wasnt' her fault now.  where did your issues stem from???

I think I lost my self-esteem and sense of self-worth early in life. I was a heavy kid and I was teased to no end at school. On top of being over-weight as a child I also have two different colored eyes and the kids honed in on them and teased me about that as well.  Adding insult to injury, I had an evil step-father who did the worst damage. I am better now. I am my own person and I am not so hesitant to take compliments and take credit where credit is earned. I am much more confident than I ever have been. I just stopped caring about what others think of me and stay focused on living my life as I see fit and loving myself. 

I'm pretty sure  I lost my confidence early on too.  I was always a heavy kid and had just a small group of friends.  I've always been quiet and shy.  (Believe it or not!  haha!  I mean, I met my DH ONLINE!  I was too shy to meet guys IRL....I guess because I couldn't take the rejection!)  I've always had pretty low self esteem and I'll admit, though it's better now, it's still pretty sad!  My dad always gave my mom, my sis, and I a hard time about our weight, but I'm not sure that's the "root of all the evil" in my life.  I've just never liked my body (and I still have issues with my body image.)  So, I guess I don't know where my issues really started.....unless they were just born with me 44 years ago! 


Food for thought though!

I wish I knew where my issues stemmed from.  I'm still trying to figure it out.  I never really had a good relationship with my mom, but had a good one with my dad.  My mom was always jealous of me and my dad's relationship and it caused many problems over the years.  We moved to the country when I was in 3rd grade and I started putting on weight in about 6th grade.  I just had a hard time in the new school and I ate.  I'm trying to work on my issues, unfortunately I can't resolve my "mommy" issues no matter how hard I try.  :(

This is a really great question.  For me, I can pin this to peer issues in Jr. High school and loneliness.  I was teased mercilessly by a girl and her cronies for years.  It started in Jr. Hi and continued through our sr. year in high school.  I remember going home by myself (I'm an only child) and eating to self medicate from the pain they would cause me.  For the first time in my life, I could eat whatever I wanted when I was by myself.  I might stop at a store and by a candy bar on the way home or I might just pig out on anything I could find in my kitchen.  But either way, I ate because this was something I could control.  In school, it felt like these bullies were in control of my every move.

It's really sort of ironic because the illusion that I had control of food really spiraled out of control until I had absolutely no control over my eating.

This is the first time in my adult life where I feel in control of my eating again, but in a healthy way.

My own family acting as if I don't deserved to be loved because I'm fat.  It took years of therapy, but now I realize it's their problem, not mine.  I don't love or not love my kids because of their sizes, that's just dumb.

Mine come from a couple of sources.  I, too, was overweight right from the beginning and endured endless teasing about it (it didn't help that I was the only "fatty" in a family of skinny people).  I was also sexually abused at age 7, and I think between the two, my trust issues and lack of self-esteem were firmly in place before I even hit puberty.  I've worked through a lot of it in therapy, but it's definitely hard to rid yourself of feelings that have been ingrained in your psyche for so long.  :P