In Law Problems, help me

I can't even begin to tell you all the problems my DH's sister has cause.  to ALL the Family.  there are 5 siblings, and NONE of them talk.  the Younger sister is the cause of 99% of it.  me and my husband have been friends with all of them, till now, again, YOunger sister's doing.  after hurting us, and everyone over and over and over again.  We've decided to stay away from her.  OH< GUESS what? she has emailed me today and wants to get together for the Holiday's.  I SAID "NO WAY"  my DH said, we will if I said so.  He has no family around here, they are all in Alabama, Florida. she is the only local one, but I dont trust her and refuse to be involved with her any more.  AM I wrong? do we set ourselves up again?  i'm i wrong to tell DH he can go and visit her, but I"M NOT??? please be hones. am i being a baby? or jus****ching my back?  I wish I could even begin to tell you everything she has done to this family.  this summer she even told me (after 15 years) of planting flowers at cemetary for their mom and dad, she didn't want me to do it anymore she wanted to do it.  I said, cool.  let me know if you need help.  we waiting till Sept, and nothing was ever done, i went and did fall arrangement.  she is even involving her mom and dad who are dead.

I'm not sure what to say to you!  I know, in the past, if DH has wanted to go see someone that I wasn't "fond" of or didn't really want to go see, I'd send him on his way ALONE!  I explained to him why and he was ok with it.  It's a really tough spot to be in.  I just look at it as you are married to him, his sister isn't.  Who would he rather keep on his good side?  His wife or his sister?  I know his sister is "blood", but still.  It's a REALLY tough situation..............I'm sorry I can't be more helpful!  I sure hope it ALL works out for you guys!  Good luck!

Now I understand what your Facebook post meant!  AND........I AGREE!!!!!!!!

I would NEVER stop my DH from seeing his family.  But he won't go without me.  he is forcing me to go with him and i'm NOT doing it, so he is mad at me from keeping him away from his sister.  I DONT' HAVE a problem with him going.  but I have a problem going.  he needs me by his side all the time and I'm always there for him,  BUt not this time.  i've been hurt and she has hurt my kids too many times.  I don't trust her.  she even trys to set up private meetings with my Adult kids and tells them not to tell me they saw her.  again, if htey want to see their Aunt, that is fine, BUT dont tell them to lie to their mother.  oiyyyy

I'd tell DH to go without you..........if he can't do that, then he really must not want to see her!  (Just my opinion!)  I TOTALLY understand why you wouldn't want to go!   ooiiyyyy is right!!!!!!!!!!

I agree. Since she's local, dh can visit and send your greetings. Why get yourself into a situation? Families and baggage- yikes! The holidays are filled with enough emotions and turmoil without more drama added to the mix.
I would avoid it too.

He's a big boy and he can go alone, or with your kids.  I have a similar situation and I love my DH's brother, but I can't stand to be around him.  But I just say hello to him and make small talk but I won't socialize with him anymore, he's hurt me, my MIL, my kids and my DH too many times and I don't trust him.

I totally know where you are coming from.  I have my hubbys parents and sister that I am not fond of.   they are 2 faced.   all nicey nicey to my face, then i hear their hurtful words behind my back.   my husband completely understands where i am coming from when it comes to them and does NOT pressure me in any way to 'be friends" etc.   He told me I am a big girl and can make up my own mind who i want in my life.   if we (the entire family) have to be together, i am there in body but my mind is always watchful of what i say or do.   therefore, i know its not me and its just them being catty and rude.   if you want to go, for your husbands sake, do as i do.   otherwise, make sure your husband is on the same page with you and understands your hesitation of allowing this family member into your life.   its a hard call....but either way, stand true to your convictions and dont let them walk all over you.