Need to rant

Okay, I have two children.  My oldest is not the biological child of my soon to be ex.  I had him when I was 21...his bio father didn't really have anything to do with him (two 6-9 month periods in his whole life).  When I married my soon to be ex, bio-dad signed away his parental rights and hubby adopted him.  Well, bio dad (aka sperm donor as I like to call him) hasn't contacted my son in almost 6 years (there may have been one or two occasions where we ran into him)...now since we are living at my Mom's....Bio dad lives 5 house up the road..they have to drive by us every day to go back and forth to work/downtown.  Today step mommy stopped to tell my son that bio dad would like to talk to him.  Apparently he was too afraid to stop without checking first.  Now step mommy - I can't stand this woman...long story ---won't go into it but it's a justified dislike....This should be really interesting...I just imagine me coming home from work one day and this "man" being in my living room.....  Can't contact us for all this time but now we're gonna stop and "talk"...couldn't make it to graduation but we wanna "talk"....********&#*(#&^#$*^$#*(&^$*(#^*$^#*$^#*&$^(#*$^#*(@&^*(@#$^@*(#$^*(#^$*(

I feel so bad for my son...bio dad has always been useless and then I married someone who has the fatherhood emotional capacity of a thimble. 

I regret my choices in men so badly.  I don't regret my boys though..they are the light of my life.  I just hope they learn from their "fathers'" mistakes.

Hi  Lisa 

Add me as a friend please as i cant get to your profile to add you!!!

thanks

patty

Most children do not learn from their parent's mistakes, unfortunately we all have to make and learn from our own. 

But they may surprise you just because they have good hearts and have learned good behaviors from their Mother (and the Thimble who took on responsibility in some capacity).

I have the same cir****tance in my life and my son has had to pay for my poor choices.  It really is upsetting to see the hurt and rejection they endure.  The good news is that they are pretty resilient.

Hopefully the SD (we call him that around our house too) will realize the error of his ways.  Your son will figure out on his own, try not to be too judgemental or opinionated in front of him.  He needs to know he can always count on your support and chances are he will get hurt again, but unfortunately you cannot protect him from it.

I do hope that it turns out well for him though.  Good luck!

My DS does have a huge heart and thankfully seems to be nothing like his SD or my ex.  I will bite my tongue for my son's sake.  All the while inside I will be fuming with what I would really like to say to the spineless weasel.  He probably wasn't afraid of what DS would do if he stopped...he was probably worried about me - and rightfully so....LOL...A little fear of Lisa is a good thing in this case.

Understand, have dreamt about smashing someone in the face myself.  And I AM NOT a violent person, but mess with my kids and look out!! 

I can TOTALLY relate!  I feel sorry for the kids!!!!!   Hope it all works out for you and the kids!

Good luck!

sorry to hear about ur sperm donor...but you are right they blys were the best part..

Oh my, slow down there girlie...You made mistakes, that's it.  Life is only lived in one direction and that is forward, so as Mya Angelou says, " We do what we know and when we know better we do better." It's one of my fav quotes of all time.  Now your DS is his own person, you have been the constant in his life and statistics say as long as kids have ONE person in their life who is glad they show up, they can be ok.  Let him navigate this boat for himself and trust you have done your job and he will figure it out.  It truly has nothing to do with you!  : ) hear that with love...you have to get out of the way and let him decide what part if anything this man will have in his life.
You are being held in prayer