need your opinnion

my DD's wedding invitations went out this week.  DD's future mother in law is livid because her name isn't on the invite.  I made the invitations after mush searching for proper wording.  It states if Bride's parents are Hosting and paying their name should be first as in:

Mr and Mrs Peter Godin
Request the Honor of your presence
at their DD's wedding to
blah blah

WEll, HIs mom, who is not married, and who didn't even give her a gift at her shower, but a card saying "GOOD LUCK"  and isnt' or hasn't even volunteered to do ANYTHING.  is pissed off.  My DD is so hurt and her boyfriend is now in the middle.  we can't change anything now, and if I could I probably still wouldnt'.  How do you guys ffeel about this?

I don't know the proper etiquette but sounds like you did it right. 

Like I tell my husband... I will tell his ex this when it comes time for the girls to get married "you pay, you stay.  You don't, you go."  You are paying for this and it is your home.  You did the right thing. Send her an apology card with "Good luck next time" on it!!  LOL 

Seriously, you can apologize to the groom to be to keep the peace. Explain that you didn't do it to hurt his mother, you were just following the examples of etiquette.  If he can't understand, well then too bad for him.  He is going to be a big part of your family and he had better just suck it up and get over it. 

Don't mean to be so harsh, but people get wound up about stupid ****  There are much more important things in life to worry about. Is her son happy?  That's all she should care about.

My DS just got engaged to a woman who is almost my age and has four children by four different men (and he is all of 24).  So, could be worse. But you know what?  I keep my mouth shut, he's happy and that IS all that matters.

SOunds right to me!

My thought is this....If your daughter wanted something different then she and her fiance should have spoken up about it before invitations were sent out. Did she not review them before they were mailed??  You are doing a lot for her and doesn't seem to be any interest by her to get things done, maybe I'm wrong?  They shouldn't be getting upset if they are not actively participating.

When I got married, my parents paid for our wedding but I planned it.  I did everything so the only one that could be blamed for screw ups would be me.  I personally included my husband's parents on the invitation but that is just me, because the way the wording went  was something like  the joining of...blah blah blah, so I had my parents and Jon's parents printed on them.

I do believe the correct way is to list the parents that are paying first. The way you have it worded is perfect. You are requesting the presense for your daughter's wedding. Doesn't say anything about her finance so therefore the mil to be should not be listed.

If she doesn't contribute she doesn't get written credit in my opinion. Sounds like you've done ALL the work. And from the pictures you've posted you've been very creative and it will be a beautiful wedding.

Try to avoid the drama and enjoy the preparation with your dd. This is a very memorable time for the two of you. Last I knew the wedding was more for the bride anyway.

I think you did things correctly.

IF future MIL was involved, took an active part in the wedding preparations and expense the story would be different.  Has she ever asked "How can I help?" No help, no credit on the invitations.

When we did our wedding we lived on our own so we put our names instead of the parents...but we also paid for the majority of it.  From what I have read the parents that are "hosting" the wedding go on the invitations

It was the same for me.  But from what I could tell, it's generally the bride's parents who get listed on the invite, especially if they're the ones paying for it and even MORE especially if the MIL isn't doing a damn thing.

I'm pretty sure you've done the right thing!  You've done everything for this wedding so I think you deserve the credit!!!!!!!

Tell future MIL to put up or shut up!  (Sorry to be so rude and blunt..........I'M IN A MOOD!!!!!!!!!!!)