easy way out

I talked to my "sister" yesterday on the phone. I am flying her to Maine (she lives in Florida) in May for my college graduation  and we got to talking about "Mom" (her's not mine) and her impending WLS (she weights 400+ and to get the surgery she was able to loose 40). I had many honest talks with her about what to expect and what not to expect and she had decided it was the best thing for her to do. Now aparently she is thinking she may not want to ( i wish her the best of luck and hope that she gets healthy either way!!... ) because my "brother" talked her out of doing "EASY WAY OUT"(because she has lost 40 why can't she loose the rest).... ... I love them all dearly and they all know that i had the surgery (and all saw the struggles that i went through before, after and now.... trying to loose weight and keep it off...) and yet they still see WLS as the easy way out... I felt like she had punched me in the face... she just couldn't get why i was upset with her....

Having wls is a big step.  It can and usually is a struggle "Before, during and after".  Family and friends don't always understand why we would take such a step, they haven't reached the "bottom" that we all reached.  They think it is a dangerous step, which it is, truthfully  it can be the wrong decision, for many.  OUr family only want us to do it the Healthy and safe way. (without surgery).  After many years of diets we all feel this is our "ONLY" way out. and choose to do it anyway.  Even with post op problems many of us post op folk still feel it was the only way to go and are not sorry for our decision.  Like many have posted in the past, is living with Diabetes, or in a wheelchair, or stress on our heart better then blood sugar problems, or ulcers?  that is decision we each need to make for ourselves.  We can only try to explain to them the best we can.  Be patient with them, they are totally doing what they think is best for their mom.  Even if it feels like a slap in your face.  

I agree that they are only thinking about what they think is "safer" and unfortunately so many people (my DH included) don't understand what we go through or what we are doing.  We are doing it to live longer and healthier but they aren't educated about it like we are.  Good luck, I hope she makes the right decision, either way you have been supporting her in her decision and she will remember that.

I know for me it's the only way I can keep the weight off.  Yes, I can lose weight on my own but not enough to significantly change anything and definitely I'm not able to maintain the weight loss.  I have been lucky to have family that have been very supportive and are proud that I have made the changes that I have.  They have seen my struggle with weight loss and want me to be happy with myself.

It's easy for someone who never had a weight problem or are not concerned about their weight to say wls is the easy way out.  They will never know what it feels like to be a fat person, so it's easy for them to make judgements on us for choosing that option.

It's sad that your mom wasn't able to make a decision on her own, but maybe she's just not ready to commit to it quite yet.  It seemed like she was talked out of it, which is unfortunate.

I haven't had the surgery but I've already been dealing with this.  My Mom is one that really doesn't understand.  She and I have always been about the same size and she thinks I can just lose it on my own without WLS.  That has just been reinforced because since Jan 31st I have lost 11 lbs.  It surprises me that she has this thought process.  She's battled with weight for all of my life..weigh****chers etc etc etc.  Until they get educated they can't understand that this is far from the easy way out.  It is a very personal decision and you really have to be ready for it and the whole process.  If he was able to talk her out of it so easily maybe she just wasn't ready for it. 

It is all a personal choice. I spent the year prior to surgery coming to terms with emotions, eating habits and how I would cope differently. I used the time to learn and change habits.

I didn't tell my extended family until 1 week before surgery. I didn't want their comments to interfere with my decision. It turned out they were supportive, but what if they hadn't been? I would have had to listen to endless weeks of conversation I didn't want to hear.

Please, don't let anyone say to me it's the "easy way out". RNY surgery, intestinal blockage surgery, healing twice, watching what I put in my mouth every meal , exercising, doing all that we do to be healthy- dr's appointments, is not easy!
As they say- this is a tool.

I definitely would not take the fact that she is not "ready" for this life-altering surgery personally.  I know it's hard not to, but, it's the only way to be positive about the lifestyle you have chosen.  Whoever says that surgery is the "easy way out" has NEVER walked in our shoes for a day!  They just don't know and aren't informed!  I'm with you though.........I WAS able to lose weight in the past and even leading up to surgery!  BUT.....was I EVER able to KEEP is off??  NO!!!  I'm thinking this tool WILL allow me to keep it off......along with the hard work that goes along with it.....eating right, exercising, following the doc's recs.  IT IS a LOT of work, despite what the uninformed people out there think!

Just be proud of what you have accomplished and what you are going to accomplish!  We can sure feel what you are feeling at this point..it DOES feel like a slap in the face.....BUT....you do what you need to to do make yourself healthy!  That's all that matters in the end!

Boy  oh boy the old easy way out issue.
I want to cry   each time someone doesn't understand why we had surgery.
Or that when we are able to eat more food in our six month's out .

They say hurtful things like your going to gain it all back ! Are you suppose to eat all that.

Your getting to thin... It use to be your gaining weight...

When will people ever understand.............Just be happy for us...

Until one is truly educated on WLS it's really difficult to understand what it is all about and how it can help a person. I regretfully didn't get "it "until I got to a rock bottom low in 2007 and came across all the before and after pictures on this site and discovered how people were using this tool to have a high success rate.

There is just so much wrong with the "easy way out" I don't even know where to begin and I am only three weeks out... They just do not understand and thats okay, as long as we do. There is always going to be somebody out there that dosen't know what they are talking about and judging something they know nothing about.....That's just the way it goes......It is not right but it is the truth............