Relationships after WLS

I took the nutrition class yesterday and there was a portion that talked about relationships after weight loss. 

This is my dilemma.  My husband and I have always bonded over food.  To him more is always better so he's having a hard time with the fact that I'll be eating 1/3 cup...

The other day I didn't drink my water...just didn't happen.  He actually yelled at me about it saying "if you gain a pound you can't have the surgery...."

I foresee some issues happening and I'll be honest one of my concerns is if my marraige will ultimately survive the WLS.  I've read that after WLS the patient sometimes just won't accept the behaviors that they've overlooked for years.

What is everyones experience in this?  What do you do about a spouse that acts like mine?

Our program offers counseling for food relationship issues- Jeanne  Dambalvo (sp?)  is a dietitian/counselor.
 
Bring Dh with you to the support group meetings so that he hears what to expect with your WLS. Be open, talk about how life will be after wards.

I am not able to offer many food relation suggestions as DH had his surgery 6 weeks after me, we're both in the small plate - small portions club now. He still cooks like crazy, makes wonderful food, but the portions are tiny for us.

For us it's been a wonderful experience. He and I understand the roller coaster ride of emotions and what the other is physically feeling. The foamies, eating one too many bites- we've both been there done that and can empathize.

Thank you.  I am so happy for you that your DH is taking the journey with you.  Mine stated "there is no way"...even though he is overweight and at age 30 just discovered he's going to have to start taking HBP meds...two years ago it was apnea...little by little his health is getting worse.

I will check with the program about the counselor..thanks!  I did bring him to the orientation and the support group after and I thought he got it....now I am not so sure.  We'll have to see. 

 

I haven't had the surgery yet, still waiting to see the surgeon. But I know what you are going through, except my DH thinks that I should just do it myself (he can, why can't I?) and thinks I am being selfish by putting my life at risk having elective surgery.  I have tried to tell him my healt is already at risk and I just skating on thin ice. (I have apnea, HBP, diabetes, GERD, Hiatal hernia, and problems with circulation in my legs that put me in the hospital with cellulities two years ago). 

I finally sat him down and told him that I love him, but that I need to do this so that I can enjoy the rest of my life with him.  Right now I'm on the sidelines.  He still doesn't get it, so I just told him he could either support me, or be my ex-husband.  It's his choice because I am going through with the surgery and I want to change my life forever.  I want him to be a part of it, but if he can't then I still need to move forward. And I love him dearly!  Good luck, if you can get him to go to counseling or even to an orientation I think he will see. It changed my MIL's mind.

Thanks, I think I am going to need it.  But you definitely summed it up. Either support me or there's the door.  I love him but if he can't be there for me in this then ......Good luck!!!

It is very hard when they dont understand!!!!  That is why this place is  so great.

It is great  support.   You will only    have  less than a year  that  you will eat so little  that it is not  fun to go out.  But  we  go out now and i order an  apetizer  and it works well.    I  can entertain and have an drink  a couple times a  year   so  you still can celebrate  food you just dont eat  stupid.


So keep your fingers  crossed that he will come to his senses.  lol

Have a great day

My DH was very  nervous about me having the surgery.  Especially after going to my pre-op appt and hearing all the possible complications.  But he has stuck by me and been very supportive.  He is overweight and is now working on trying to eat better and recently joined the gym with me.  I could not have done this surgery without him.  He has been really great and I think we are actually closer now than before. 

Thanks for a happy ending story Michelle! 

you could ask him to join you at support groups and i would recommend talking to your counselor about your concerns. she will have great solutions on how to handle his concerns as well as yours. sadly, some relationships change. not necessarily because of the wls but because they would have changed anyway. sometimes wls is the excuse. just be open and honest with each other, sincerely hear his concerns as well as have him listen to you. it will all be ok plus this is for you and your health. that's what is most important.