Since farts have been the topic lately...

Caribou ME
on 1/29/09 3:24 am - Caribou, ME
I've never shared a joke on here before but since farts have been a frequent topic lately I just couldn't resist sharing this with all of you.....

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner.This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.


 The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart... 

It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.

Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'. 


The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.


This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip.
The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Skippy!'

Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!' A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it.

She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.


Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, 'Skippy, get away from her, before she ****s on you!'

 




 5'3"
50 years old
Start weight and bmi -- 228 pounds  40.4 bmi
Current (November 21, 2012) -- 150 pounds  26.6 bmi

bevsyarncrazy
on 1/29/09 3:39 am - Dover-Foxcroft, ME
ROFLMAO!!!  That is too funny!

A woman is on a bus on her way to work when she suddenly feels an intense need to fart.  The music playing on the bus is really loud so she decides to time her farts to the beat of the music.  After a couple of songs she starts to feel much better and is approaching her stop.  As she leaves the bus, the people are really staring her down and mouthing things at her.  That is when she remembers that she has been listening to her ipod!


Caribou ME
on 1/29/09 3:52 am - Caribou, ME
hahaha
Bev I was totally not expecting that last line.
I like your id...bevsyarncrazy.  It's so much more creative than mine.

 5'3"
50 years old
Start weight and bmi -- 228 pounds  40.4 bmi
Current (November 21, 2012) -- 150 pounds  26.6 bmi

bevsyarncrazy
on 1/29/09 4:11 am - Dover-Foxcroft, ME
Well, it is who I am.  I knit, crochet and I am learning to spin yarn on a drop spindle.  My dream is to own a yarn shop.  So, I guess it really isn't that creative, but more descriptive of who I am.  I don't see anything wrong with your id.  It serves its purpose and if anyone wants more than that, then they need to take the time to get to know you!

Have a great day!
Bev
debz_58
on 2/1/09 12:50 am - Troy, ME

OMG !! 

I rec'd the first one via e-mail the other day but had not seen this one before...

 TOO funny !!

tiggrpt
on 1/29/09 3:53 am - Sabattus, ME
LOL!!!!!!!!  I've seen both of these before but they never stop amusing me!!!!!!!           

Ruth                  "It's never to late to LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!"

   
(deactivated member)
on 1/29/09 5:09 am - ME
OMG< those are the best i've heard in a long time,  thanks for sharing
mainegal
on 1/29/09 6:14 am - Thomaston, ME
thanks for the chuckles

Emily     SW 320, Pre Surg 271.3, Lowest 189.8 Current 212.9 GW -155-188
Continuing the weight loss journey 10 pound goals at a time.  June 2011

oceanlady
on 1/29/09 8:58 am - ME
LOL....they are funny - I just got both of them in my email last week.....not just wls peeps like fart jokes!!!!
pinky0624
on 1/30/09 3:32 am - Damariscotta, ME
My kind of humor. I'm laughing my flat ass off!

Lisa
Highest-232.5  Surgery Day 2/18/08 - 215  Today-197  Goal-150
Sadly gained after 2 years out!  Working hard to get it off! 
Goal 150 with tummy tuck and thigh lift to follow!
    

    
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