have you learned anything?

so thoughout this whole process have you learned anything?  Is this something you can follow and do for the rest of your life?  (exercise and diet)  are all the changes you made just for loosing weight then will go back once you reach goal to your bad habbits?  Did you get to the bottom of your issues during this short weight loss process?  Do you think, mental issues should be address more with our Baria dr's?  Just searching for your opinions, be honest, not for your admission but to help others.

here is my opionion about me and my journey.....  I feel that yes there should be more attention to Mental health, it shiould be part of the trainnings.  I personally have not had any issues with accepting myself, probably because of the small success i've had (SO FAR), but I think as far as going back to bad habbits, munching, alcohol, eating often, I wonder why, and I wonder if its mental issues or bordom, or lazyness?  or why.  maybe councelling would get to the bottom of it.  and help me move on, make me aware as to what needs attention and What I need to work on.  I guess that is the one good thing about loosing so slow, I've had time to wrap my brain around this.
I have made many changes, I have cut so many things.  Not completely out, but by 3/4.  so I feel very confident that this is a good/new lifestyle for ME.  SO I think my life will continue on, with these things still in them, just not as much.   I won't miss them. I love my Band, right now,  I went out for dinner with MLM today and he had a Wendy's burger (I ate the lettuce, tom and onion)  I got home and cooked myself a pork chop, I ate less then 1/2 of it.  It was delicious, chowed down on the bone and enjoyed it, but was stuffed.  So I can still enjoy all those wonderful things i've always loved but just not as much.

The emotional piece of the the pre-op process is VERY VERY important.   Maine Bariatric's social worker saw me and required me to go to Emotional Therapy 3 months before they would consider doing the surgery.  You really need to address these things pre-op!!  I didn't think so at first, however. I was just annoyed my surgery would be delayed for another 3 months, but NOW i really realize why this is important.  I have issues with self image and I still deal with emotional eating. I really wished I had started the therapy sooner, because 3 months is really not long enough.  

I agree, I also believe Dr's just push patients thru like they were cattle (no pun intended).  I see so many people having "Mental issues", eating disorders, emotional eating (STILL), I personally, feel like I loose control, binge, graze, whatever you call it.  I'm just not sure what triggers it.  emotional?, bordom?,  I feel still like I have always felt, just dieting, like always.  Only this time I have a little "Friend" *****minds me when I graze or binge and tells me "WOA !!!  you've had enough.  I think that is the only reason why I've lost some weight.
 I just was talking to a woman and her mom, who had to drive to NH to pick up their DD yesterday, she had RNY 15 months ago, she was very sick and her better half was beating her. so they brought her home, here.  her sister told me, all she has all day long is a large DDonut Ice Coffee.  all day, that's it.  all she cares about it being skinny.  she dont' even take her vitamins.  It makes me sad.  She says, "I"M a size 4 now, and more healthy then all of you".  YEA RIGHT???  they called a local Dr. NOT sure who, and they were meeting at cmmc yesterday.   I'm sorry if I"m rambling on, but I just want to know everyone's input on Mental Health.  That actually should be more important then the weight loss, cause that will keep you at goal.  oh, well, my opinion.

Thank you for putting it OUT there!    I worry about those people that use to frequent or lurk this board and wondering if they are going through these issues....  YOU know who you are!!  It is time to GET REAL again!! 

So........I've been waiting to post a reply to this because I wasn't sure what to write.  So, I'm just gonna "wing it".

I TOTALLY agree that the pre-op mental preparation IS one of the most important YET, overlooked pieces of this whole weight loss puzzle!  No one told me about stalls and how aggravating they were, yet, NORMAL too!   They mentioned excess skin and body issues, but NO WHERE near in depth to make me truly understand what they were talking about.  They also talked about head hunger "a BIT", but not to the extent that it truly sank into my head!  There are SOOO many things that were mentioned, but DETAILS and further counseling IS DEFINITELY needed!!!!!

I guess that's one of the reasons I still go to the pre-op support groups.  If I can impart just a small bit of my experience and help someone else, then I guess it's all good!   I've learned SOOO much more from EVERYONE here on OH than I did from the pre-op counseling session.  I DID learn a lot from our Nut.......you know, the "nuts and bolts" of the surgery and lifestyle.  I guess it might have helped me MORE to speak to further out post-ops BEFORE surgery to get a TRUE picture of how life would be post-op.

I know you all know that I've struggled with various issues......passing out, low blood sugars, ulcers, head hunger, exercise transfer addictions..........the list could go on, probably.  BUT, I think I've got my head "screwed on pretty straight" at this point and I AM feeling better about my life and this surgery!  I KNOW that I still have A LOT of issues to resolve (body image and self esteem) but I KNOW that I can DO THIS........for the rest of my life!

They DID tell us, pre-op, that this IS a LIFESTYLE change, and NOT a diet!  That's what I keep telling myself to TRY to keep myself on track.  Yup, I've eaten stuff that I shouldn't have eaten and sometimes it's gone fine, sometimes it hasnt'.  BUT, I'm learning what works and doesn't work for my body.  I HOPE that I NEVER stop learning what my body needs and wants.  This is a LIFELONG change and "work in progres"!!!  (I'm just full of cliches today, sorry!)

Am I happy I had this RNY???  ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!  I CAN NOT imagine my life without it at this point!  I wish I had done this 20 years ago, although, mentally, I probably wasn't ready at that point (not that I am now, but when are we EVER truly ready to change our COMPLETE way of living and eating????)

So, have I learned anything (after my long-winded rant) YES!!!!!  I HAVE!!!!!!!   I have learned MUCH!!! AND I am STILL learning and hope I continue to learn!!!!!!!!!

My life and journey is pretty much an "open book" if any newbies have questions.......feel free to pm me!

Best wishes to ALL of you on your journeys!!!!!!!!

Peace!  Hugs!!!
Ruth

one of my questions is.  Why do we have mental issues if we're fat?  why can't it just be about "food is good"  ... my brother eats like a horse and is skinny as a rail.  does him eating alot make him have issues? no, cause he's skinny.  I think he's got more issues then I do.  I LIKE FOOD.  period.  i just need help understanding, what to do to control it, to eat daily what I like, but not to the point of exploding, to exercise a bit, to make better choices sometimes.  DO we look at all obeste people and say "I wonder what happened to him in his childhood"?  or just, he a lazy ass.  cause that's not true, I work like a horse.  sorry, again, i'm thinking outloud, cause when I try and get deep with my dh i'm bothering him watching the game. 

I don't think we have mental issues because we're fat. I think our relationship with food is "different".  For some people, it isn't that they have a "bad" relationship with food, it's that their metabolism just let them burn off what they take in or maybe it's the portion control that's the issue, not really a "mental" issue at all.   I LOVE food, too!  Some people say the eat to live, not live to eat..........well.........I STILL plan for my next meal.  Yeah, my portions are much smaller and I don't eat some of the things that I used to LOVE, BUT........I still live to eat, kinda!  I know that it should be eating to live, but, I LIKE eating too much!  I probably still have food issues, but I KNOW I'm in this for LIFE and I don't want to get back to 260 like I was before......SOOOOOOO....I'm making the decisions I need to make to help me maintain where I am now so I will NEVER have to go back to where I was and face the health issues that I had less than a year ago!   Does that make sense?

I gotta tell you..........when I see obese people on the street, or wherever......I want SOO badly to tell them "I've been there and there IS something you can do.....Don't give up!"  I DON'T normally talk to them, but still, my head is working, know what I mean?  I don't usually think of people as lazy or wonder what got them to where they are today.  I know my issues and struggles with food and diets were lifelong and I guess I figure that most obese people out there are kinda in the same boat I was/am in.  I suppose I kinda feel sorry for those out there that see no escape from obesity, because I think there is help out there....somewhere, if they are willing to try.  On the other hand, some people don't really "care" and "like" being heavy.  More power to them!

Keep thinking out loud Cheryl!  I love it!  It's making me think A LOT too!  I need this!
Thanks!

I think soooo many of them, and us are in denile.  like they say, I hardly eat. (yea right), or I'm not fat. I like being this way.  Yea right. I like having curves, I'll show you curves. sorry, maybe there right and i'm wrong, but I think there full of ****  I dont' like being fat.  never did, or never will.  I could go sooo deep right now, but am so affraid of hurting some nice people that I care alot about. I just want to grab some people by the neck and shake them.  You know what I mean?  I'm sure there are people who want to do the same to me.  haha, those *******s!! the nerve....... I"ve been doing too much thinking, my brain hurts.  I need to go find something to do. haha, "what's to eat"??

OMG!! That is whay me and DH are arguing about right now. Every GD Sunday it's FOOTBALL< FOOOTBALL<

I'm still pretty new at all of this and I'm not sure what to post but here goes...

I agree with all of you that the pre-op mental preparation is (or should be) one of the most important yet, overlooked pieces of this whole weight loss puzzle...
No one told me about stalls and how much of a pain-in-the-butt they were but...are a NORMAL part of this process.  They mentioned excess skin and body issues, but no where near as much as they should have to make me understand what they were talking about.  They definitely "mentioned" a lot of things but they didn't go into specific detail as much as maybe they should have. 
I've learned sooo much from EVERYONE here on OH and am so Thankful to Patty for telling me about this site at my very first Support Group Meeting !! 

Some of the "issues" I had in the very beginning, I had no idea would be happening...
A lot of you said that at some point (early out) I would probably ask myself "what the hell I had done...and why ??"  and I did...more than once !!  I see a lot of you here and on the MAIN board say that you're "so glad you did this surgery and wish you had done it years ago..."  I gotta admit...I'm not at that point yet...I do hope one day that I will indeed feel that way...but I gotta tell ya...it hasn't happened yet. 
I also didn't do this surgery with the weight loss being the main reason...the weight loss for me is definitely a "bonus"...but being off ALL meds and having blood sugar numbers like I have now still totally amazes me...and I do thank God and Dr. Clough for that...but I can't help looking back at everything I've gone through to get to this point...
"Would I do it again ??" 
PLEASE ask me that question again in about 6 - 8 months and I'm hoping and praying that by then I will feel as positive as you all do right now !! 
I do understand that this is a *lifelong* change with a lot of learning along
the way...and I hope and pray that I never stop learning !!