struggling right now......

So here I am day 4 of my 2 week pre-op liquid diet and I am STRUGGLING big time!  I haven't cheated or anything, but my mind is playing with me.  I have a lot of "head" hunger and a lot of second guessing my decision to have surgery.   The second guessing isn't even about eating it's about my children.  I am starting to panic I guess......I can't imagine what they would go through if anything happens to me.  I know the risks that are involved and thought I was 100% prepared, but now I'm not sure.  I know all these feelings are probably normal, but I can't keep myself busy enough so I don't think about it.  I'm so sorry to be a downer.......I guess I just needed to get that out.  I do realize that I worry more than the average person.....that's just part of who I am (unfortunately)  Thank you all so much for listening.....(well...reading).

OMG Devin, don't feel like your the only one who has gone thru these feelings, We all have, some longer then others.  I was totally fine with surgery and what I was doing, wasn't worried about the band, but one day, WOW, I just totally flipped, scared ****less, I got over it tho, and so will you.  Yes there are risks, but there are more risks of you being overweight.  You are going thru the worst part right now, this is the hardest part for you.  especially with your brain,  that sucker can sure play some mean games with you.  Be strong and don't let it win... YOU CAN DO IT !!  Hang in ther tomorrow will be better.

Hi  Devin

Your  feelings are   normal.   and yes  the head hunger does play tricks on you.   but  You are doing  great.  
My biggest reason for quitting smoking was for my health and  my grandchilden.

My biggest reason for   rny  is for my  Health   ME ME ME  and  i am  a meemee so i am doing it for the grandchildren too.  but mostly for me.  It is gonna seem funny  next week at my sisters  pool to be able to dive in the pool and not do  a belly flop.

I am even gonna do  the   waterslides when i take them to the park.   I cant  wait.

I love   being able to get off the floor and not to be winded  when i carry things or walk alot.

my  yahoo messenger is  [email protected]

my  msn is  [email protected]

and i have aol  messenger if you dont have the other ones.   Any one else can  add me if they want  just put your  obesity   name   in the  invitation.

Have a great day all!!!! 

A waterslide does sound like fun.....I haven't worn a bathing suit in front of other people since I was a little girl. 

I don't have any messenger downloaded on this computer so I'm going to download one tonight.......Patty....which one is best?

I have AIM and my name is mamag130

Oh Devin, I know exactly how you feel.  Please, if you get a chance read my pre surgery posts.  I struggled BIG TIME before my surgery.  As a Mom you have more than yourself to think about so what you are going through is not only normal, but admirable.   If you've done the research you know both the pros and the cons.  The risks and the benefits.  Weigh everything out and make peace with whatever final decision you make.  I for one would NEVER go back.  I feel that my family also benefits from improved health, even though I made the decision it definately affected everybody involved.  I feel blessed that I've not had any complications or adversed affects with food yet.  Please keep your chin up,  I will keep you in my prayers.  You came to the right place, because we all have experienced this in one way or another.  HUGS and Blessings.

Hi Devin!  I don't have much else to offer you as everyone else has said it all.  Head hunger is horrible and will make you second guess everything in your life!  I think we've all been there!  I have 3 kids (15, 13, and 10) and I worried ALOT about what would happen to them if something happened to me.  I had my living will done, a durable power of attorney for healthcare done, and I sent letters to my mom and dad, bother and sister requesting that they fight for my kids (keep them away from my ex) if something happened to me and my ex tried to get the kids from my DH.  This decision affects you but it also affects everyone around you.  Knowing this...you have to be at peace with your decision.  Pray, meditate....whatever it is you do to calm yourself and find that peace you need.  Keep in mind that (with all of us) being morbidly obese would severely shorten our lifespan.  With that thought, I couldn't imagine NOT having this surgery done!  I WANT to be able to watch my kids grow up, play with them, bounce a grandbaby on my knee....and be able to CHASE after the grandbabies!  Yes, there are risks, but are the risks of surgery any worse than the risks of not having the surgery and "living" with the obesity....for me...that meant not being able to do simple things with my kids, being unhealthy, unmotivated, and UNHAPPY!!!!!!!   This is a VERY personal decision!  Granted, the people (including me) who post on here will tell you all the good stuff...but, I know you've done the research....there are some bad things too!  Just know all you need to know...research!  Then, make your decision and remember that head hunger may be messing with you right now, but that hunger will make you stronger as you fight through it!  You're in my thoughts and prayers!  Hang in there!    

I'm on aim:  tiggrpt65               yahoo: tiggrpt1         and msn:  tiggrpt

I usually stay invisible, but feel free to add me and im me.....ANYONE!   Ruth

Devin!!!!!!!! What you are feeling is really, really normal and downright smart of you, to weigh all the risks and balance them with benefits.  If you WEREN'T doing that right now, I would worry. You are in the middle of literally a life changing decision, and it is causing you to pause and think about all the things you love and care about and don't want to leave.  NORMAL!! I have 3 grown kids, and 3 little grands, and a DH who adores me.  I spent time reading the memorials on OH during my last 2 weeks, how morbid was that??But I needed to know,. everything. And then, knowing, I turned the decision over to God and just said, open every door you want me to go through and for my part I will go through them.  That is what got me through all the doors and I have never EVER wanted to turn around since. Living with obesity is such a risk,too, as we all know. Others have said that.  Just know whatever you decide, we will be here to cheer on your victories, hold you in your fear, and honk all along the way.
love and hugs,
kate

Thank God for all of you.  That's pretty much all I have to say right now.  Love you all!

Hi Devin...I don't even have a surgery date yet...BUT I can so relate to what you're feeling right now...I've been there since I made the decision to have the RNY back in June...I love my boys and cannot imagine them without me...I'm no SuperMom but I am their mum...but just as everyone else has said...what are the risks IF we don't have the surgery ??  I have TypeII diabetes and High Cholesterol...family history of heart disease and family history of cancer on both sides...
I know I've made the right decision...I'm going to lose this weight once and for all and become healthy...for my boys, my grandchildren, my husband, but most of all...for "ME" !! 
Just gotta take a really deep breath...and look straight ahead to the future and all the happiness, good times and good health that are waiting for us !!

Take Care and the All the Very Best to You !!

deb