New Vlog up...need a pep talk from you dearies!

Happy 4th of July...I finally did a new VLOG. Please take a look and let me know what you think. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FlWkLOy7ac

I am having a difficult time right now and have to get perspective...thanks. xxoo

Well now.....sounds like you are human, just like the rest of us. I watched your video - and all I could think is that if you were counseling someone else - you'd be telling them not to be so hard on themselves. Eating will get better, it is much easier after the surgery - at least in the time frame i've been through. The whole process however has it's ups and downs - none of this easy really easy. For me it's dealing with the emotional aspect after spending so much time in my life stuffing the feelings with food, soda and cigarettes....and my younger years with drugs and alcohol.  You are going through some massive life changes this year, you are a strong woman so I know you will be fine, to spite the ups and downs along the way. Candace

Oh yes Candace..I am human. No doubt about that. In all my imperfections! Glad to hear it will be easier after the surgery, though I know there will be some things that are harder. I'll deal with them. And you are very right that I am going through so many life-altering changes this year. This surgery is only one of them. And I am strong! Thanks for reminding me of that. We Maine women are all strong aren't we. Everyone on this board sure the heck is! Thanks you all for your wonderful support!

I watched your video. We've all been there. I know the feeling of not being able to follow my program, not wanting to follow it, and that feeling that again I have failed and let myself and others down. Good for you for crying out for support in this life changing surgery and current slump. So let's pick up the pieces and get back to what you need to do.  You know what needs to be done. Smaller portions, getting back to exercising- what ever movements you are able. Take the time for you- you are an important person.  You'll feel better and your mood will be uplifted. I look at RNY as a tool, a life saver. My expectation is if I backslide my tool will protest and remind me of the proper menus and choices. Others who have already had surgery please let me know if my thinking is on track. Chin up, smile and know that your buddies here are rooting for you. We know all to well the place you are at now and pray that this mood, feeling of failing, questioning and wondering will soon lead to peace and content with your decision for a healthier you.

Thank you Emily. This just came out of nowhere when I have been feeling so positive all along. Well except for the support group meeting last month. Not the one when I met you, the one before that. Now that I think of it, that is when my doubts started surfacing, though they aren't with me all the time. Mostly I am ok. I just have to learn to reach out when I am not. Thanks for being there and thanks for taking the time to write.

Dang your having a rough  time girl. I suppose what helped me out pre op was the fact that I had my mind made up and was not going through this surgery to not succeed.  I basically put myself on a post op style diet getting all the protein in and fluids watching carbs. I knew that if I could just lose that little bit the Dr wanted I would be that much better on the other end and surgery and recovery would be easier all the way around. Wish I had some magic words for you. I will send you a hug and lots of honks.

Thank you Kathy. Of course you are right and I just have to get back to basics and do what I was doing before this slight setback. Walk to the mailbox, watch my carbs, buy sugarfree popsicles and try not to drink with meals. I can do this! Thank you for your support!

Terri, You are awesome!  I love your vlogs, your honesty, and how candid you are!  I think all that you are feeling is pretty normal at this point!  I often wondered, pre-op, how I could lose weight now when I had been trying all my life without much success.  I slipped....more than I care to admit!  I ate stuff I shouldn't have and too much of it at times too!  But, as Kathy said, I knew there was a "light at the end of the tunnel" so to speak and that as long as I kept trying, that was all that mattered!  I definitely had in my mind that food choices and portions would be much better controlled after surgery, which it IS!  YEAH!  It's all very difficult as you prepare for this life-changing experience.  I would say to make sure you know all that your doctor and nutritionist expect of you and remain determined to follow their instructions....that's all you can do!  Pre-op, with no help from a limited size stomach.....what can we do?  As others have said before me..anyone who tells you that surgery is "the easy way out"...well, they just don't know what they're talking about!  (My son said that to me today and I about pounded him into the ground..jk of course, but I did educate him that all these choices I have to make are NOT easy...I'd love to have a brownie or chocolate chip cookie fresh out of the oven, BUT, taking a chance of getting sick just ISN'T worth it for me.....so, is that the easy way out?  I don't think so!!!   I think he understood after we chatted for a bit!) The exercise part of this surgery is not easy either, BUT, any kind of movement helps!  I am not a very motivated person (at least, not when I was 260 or so) It took everything I had to get outside and walk or do an exercise video or just get off the recliner!  But, like you, Terri, I am strong, and I wasn't about to let my chance for good health get away from me.  Start off small....chair exercises....kick your legs, march while sitting in your chair, take cans of veggies and lift them for arm exercises, try to walk part of the way to the mailbox....our nut told us ANY activity counted for exercise.  Just gotta set it in your mind and heart that it WILL all help and lead you to that active, healthy life that you want and DESERVE!!!!!!  I KNOW you can do it! The fears you have about surgery...I think they are valid and "normal". I know you've done the research and know the statistics.  You have to be at peace with your decision, which it sounds like you are.  The fears will pop back up numerous times before you get to your surgery date. Just breathe, pray, and feel that peace inside you each time the fears creep up. Sorry this is so long and I'm not sure if any of this will make sense, but maybe one small word or sentence in here will help.   Plan to succeed!!!! We ARE all human!!!  We ARE all determined!  We ARE all strong!  We ARE here for you! I know I'm honking for you!  I'm staying behind to help get you back with the rest of us!  I KNOW you can do this!  Hugs, honks, and prayers heading your way!  Ruth

How kind you are dear Ruth, to take the time to write me such a wonderful response. And thank you for your honesty as well. Starting tomorrow, no more driving to the mailbox, if I don't walk it, I can;t have my mail. Simple as that. And no more gulping with meals. Maybe I won;t give it up completely, but only a sip or two of water while I eat instead of 12 oz of CL. The woman on the ,lightweight board really scared me this week. We just don't know. Just have to trust that whatever outcome, we will be fine in God's hands. And I do. Just get off track now and again. I thank God for all my friends here and on YouTube. You are the best!

G'morning Terri...I know you don't know me as I'm fairly new here...but I watched your video this morning, read everyones comments and great words of support and just finished reading your profile...I'm just starting my "journey" as I too am dealing with high cholesterol and type 2 diabetes.  You spoke of the possibility of dying in the hospital...but have you stopped to think of the risks we are taking every single day ??  When I asked my PCP for a referral for WLS she asked me "why"...and then I asked her..."can you guarantee me that one day my five pills a day won't be enough and I'll become insulin dependent...can you guarantee me that one day I won't need to be on a kidney transplant list or end up on dialysis...because I don't wanna put my boys or myself through any of that...??  And the thought of suffering complications from my heart...I almost feel like I'm taking a risk every morning when I get out of bed because of my weight..."  After that she hugged me and began filling out my referral...I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared and nervous with just the thought of the word "surgery"...but to me it's a second chance at getting healthy...and a second chance at being around a bit longer for my boys, my husband, my grandchildren but most importantly...for me...because I am a very special person...just as I know YOU are too...watching you on the video...and listening to your words and seeing the expressions on your face...YOU are a very special lady and I know you can do this...I know we both can do this...I don't mean to ramble on but I do want you to know that I and everyone here with your "OH Family" is behind you and supporting you 110% !!!  I want to wish all the very best and just know we're all here for you as I'm sure you already know that !!  Take care and have a great week~end !!  (((HUGS)))  deb