Ready to give up...

Well I am ready to give up...There are so many reasons right now...but I really don't want too...I am in the pre stage still and finding its hard...First of all I have a challenge just getting through the day with my physical problems, if its not one its another...I don't sleep well at night, and trying to get the hang of my bi pap machine is a challenge for me because of my TMJ and headaches...I am do for a chiropractor visit but he is on vacation so I suffer...My neck, back etc...Well I had my nutrition class on the 20th of March and had lost 5-6 lbs almost right away then have been bouncing up and down back and forth since...I have a lot of stress issues in the house with one child that is 9 that would make anybody nutty so its hard...so right now the things that are holding me back are my blood sugars probably aren't the best because of stress, and my bi pap machine and possibly not losing...I know at the class they said they just asked you not to gain...But I will feel like a loser showing up being one that doesn't lose any, but its very hard, with the stress in my house...Also with the amounts of insulin I have to take in order to control my blood sugars also makes it hard to lose weight...Also I notice some days I am really holding my water, cause hands and feet are swollen, even though I am trying to watch salt intake...atleast by not adding more...I am really at witts end...I feel really down, blue, crying for 2 days now...I have been trying to get in touch with the dietitians to see if maybe they can put an end to my madness and maybe make me feel better...I haven't even eaten breakfast this morning because of what the scales say and I know that's not good either...Arghhhh I really feel awful...Not to mention I am waiting for a call from the dr's because I am having really bad itchies all over, and no rash and no other symptoms but I think its allergies to the trees budding...I do have something stronger than benadryl cause that doesn't seem to cut it but if I take it, it makes me like a zombie and I sleep all day...like I did yesterday when I took it...Helppppppppppppppppp....Angela

Angela, honey, Breathe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every single thing you mentioned COULD be helped if not cured with WLS so don't give up!! You will be the woman you want to be, patience and endurance is what this race is all about, not speed and instant results.  I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time, you are not "mad" you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.  The path you have chosen is one that has starts and stops just like real life but the end results can be YOU in good health for the first time in a long time(I am speaking of myself here, too) Please don't give up, we will be beside you, holding you up if necessary to get you over this hump...besides YOU LOST WEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! That is a good thing. You didn't gain!!! Also a good thing.  YOU ARE WORKING IT!!! Hang in there and know we are all here with  HUGS and HONKS to hel/ Love, kate

Thank you Kate...I appreciate the kind words and encouragement...Yes I did lose weight but now the scales are saying I am back up to what I was, well minus a pound...That's what I forgot to put in my last posting...That's what has me upset is the gain...no I didn't go over what I weighed when they weighed me but I still don't want to look like a real "loser" showing up and having lost nothing...They will think I really am not taking this seriously...When I am trying...Angela

Hang in there Angela!  As with what Kate said so many of your problems will be helped tremendously with WLS.  A lot may have to do with water.  Your body is like 75% water and you can range 5 pounds between morning and evening in water alone.  And you mentioned being swollen.  I bet it is simply water weight.  Try not to be discouraged, although I know that is hard.  Maybe really watch the sodium grams in things and see how it goes.  With lower sodium foods and no extra salt the water won't be retained nearly as much.  You might be surprised to jump on the scale in a few days and the loss is back and then some.  I know how you feel about wanting to skip meals because of the scale...I have been there.  It simply doesn't work...and can make it worse.  You want to eat to jump start your metabolism so that you are burning calories and fat just simply sitting there.  Breakfast especially is the most important. It is soooooo worth it in the end.  If you can get over this hump and start to feel better I promise you will be happy with everything :)  Keep plugging away.  You should be proud of yourself for taking this step...and it is hard.

Well said, Tanya...

I'm so sorry angela that everything has fallen on you all at once, I understand totally how you feel, been there and done that.  This wls is a big deal, a big decision, with lots of stressful appointments.  but, with everything you've wrote you don't have a choice, you can't give up, you have to take care of yourself.  as for loosing, I didn't do that well, and we had to loose, according to our dr., I only lost 14 lbs. so if your dr. don't require it anything is ok, so dont be so hard on yourself.  Continue what you are doing, watch yourself, cut back. walk or move anyway you can.  And one more thing, as for the 9 year old, (i'd give up there). They just don't get any better. have you considered counciling?  Please keep up what you are doing.  and like kate said, all these things can be fixed, just fix one at a time if that is less stressful, and it will eventually get better every day.  Best of LUck, enjoy Spring, and keep coming back to hear all the honks... cheryl

Angela, don't give up.  That is all I can really say.  I started with my Doctor back in September or October and just had the surgery this past Monday.  It is a challenge to try to lose the weight they want and to have a child on top of it.  I do have two boys myself, ages 10 (Turned today) and 11.  They can be a handful when it comes to wanting to do something for yourself.  I did not loose all the weight I needed to prior to surgery, but as long as I was trying that is all they ask.  The worst you could do for yourself right now is give up.  You have gone this far, just keep chugging away and it will all work out. Jill

Angela!  Please, don't give up!  All the medical issues you talk about WILL be helped with WLS!  Yes, there ARE speed bumps in the path!  They make us stronger and make us want this even more!  The waiting and wanting are the hardest part!  But, do NOT give up on yourself or your dream of living that healthier life!  Drink your fluids, watch your sodium intake and follow the guidelines given by your nut!  Log everything you eat, if you can!  That's the proof that you ARE working on this, even when it feels like you aren't!  The cPap is hard!  Been there, done that!  I didn't have the problems with TMJ or headaches, but I did the best I could!  I started by wearing it just a while and gradually increased the time to where I could make it through MOST nights!  I think the effort is what the doc is looking for..so please don't give up!  I know you can do it!  We're here for you to vent, cry, whatever you need!  Tons of honks and hugs for you today!  I'll be thinking about you!!!!!  Ruth

Awww Angela,     I am so sorry you are having such a struggle right now. Sometimes life just does not seem fair at all. I will tell you one thing though the struggle you are going through right now will make having the surgery so much more worth it. Every aspect of your life can be helped by this surgery. Praying for you to have a little relief from the struggles right now though. Take a few really deep breaths and take some time just for yourself. Hoping every part of the pre op process starts falling into place for you as well.

Thank you all for your well wishes, encouragement...It truly was what I needed...Hearing from all of you today has made me lift my chin up and make me want to try even harder...I appreciate all of you and all of your honks...Thanks...Angela