Panic attack

Hi girls,  I'm posting because I'm kinda freakin out.  I have been so sure and so confident about having this surgery for months now and all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks tonight.  I'm really scared.  I'm so afraid of the risk involved and well to be honest...dying.  I know I'm probably just tired and over reacting, but I was alone with my little girl tonight and  I kept thinking I don't want to leave her.  I know the chances are minimal and in spite of my excess weight I'm really healthy.  I'm healthier than some having this surgery , so I'm sure I'll  make it out fine. So is it just the jitters?  I keep trying to remind myself that I'm doing this so I CAN enjoy my life, my daughter, my husband, but I'm just a little nervous I guess.  Have any of you gone through this?  I have a good surgeon, but he is human after all.  I'm also a firm beliver that God is in control, so WHY the fear tonight? I'm sure it hasn't helped that this is ALL I've thought about all week.  I've also spent WAY too much time reading posts.  I've been reading on the main board and there are people on there talking about how depressed they are and one woman is talking about having the RNY reversed!!!  I need someone to tell me I'm doing the right thing.  To remind me that my health in the future will suffer if I don't take this weight off.  That I may actually get out of bed and feel rested and not be crippled with back pain, if I lose the 100+ lbs I NEED to lose.  I'm 31 and feel much older!  So maybe I'm just freakin for no reason.  Sorry such a long post.  I feel like I had to get this off my chest......

So weird, I went through the SAME EXACT thing for like not more than a few days (if that long even) right after I got my date and everything was set in stone. It was sort of a shock to realize that finally, it was really happening. Just like everything else, everyone handles everything differently. Some people that have this surgery aren't mentally ready, and fail because of that and end up regaining....some have problems, etc. Just like at group the other night there was a girl who had 2 lapbands, the older 4 cc one and a newer one and she couldnt ever eat right and kept throwing up and herniating (sp?) the band...so she just had a bypass like 2 weeks ago now and couldnt be happier at this point. So then look at all the people who have had no probelms and love their band. Even things like knee replacement, etc. Everyone is different. Just believe everything will be ok, and it will.

Dear Keela,
Of course you are afraid. This is a huge step and you have a young child to consider and the fact is that you could die in surgery. Sorry to be so blunt ,but that is a possibility and facing it is something we all must do. Only you can decide if it is a risk you are willing to take and if the alternative (doing nothing) is even riskier. You may be healthy now, but you will not stay that way. I know, because it has happened to me. At your age I was about a hundred pounds overweight with no risk factors other than my obesity. 20+ years later I am 150 lbs overweight, I have severe sleep apnea, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes,and  two bad knees to the point I have trouble walking. It is only a matter of time before I have a heart attack, I am sure. I wish I had done surgery when I was your age. It would have prevented all this from happening and I would have been able to do so much more than sit in front of the TV and computer and go out to eat and study. Make yourself a pro and con list and add all the things you can't do now that you will be able to do after surgery. Add all the diseases you are likely to get eventually. Add the years you will have added to your potential life span. Do your research and know the negatives as well as the positives, but once you know them, don't dwell on the negatives. Half the battle is a positive attitude! Once you make up your mind that you can trust your surgeon and your medical team then come here for support. Vent as much as you need to. even be scared if you need to, but be strong and have faith and stick with what you decide is right for you and your family. And then, let go and let God. And be at peace.

Thanks, I know....I have done so much research and I really do believe this IS the right thing to do, but like you said it is still a bit scary and maybe it just hit tonight, beceause yeah, it its set in stone.  It's actually going to happen.  Until tonight I really have been extremely positve.  Just need a pick me up or kick in the butt hahah.  thanks

Keela, I can totally understand... First, I always do and tell my dgt when something is bothering her to give it a few days, and you will get over the worst of it.  It might not go away but you just need to talk to us, your dh and anyone who'm you trush and can talk to.  Second, Your dgt. deserves you at your best and do you think your at your best now.  You'll be able to go play with her, go out in public with her, because believe me, as your child gets older and you get larger, you will feel like an embarassement to her and not want to leave your house.  Don't you want to go to her school functions.  And believe me, kids are mean, they will tease her, because of you.  I'm sorry also to be blunt, but there is too much living for you to do.  You baby is still little, you can be up and running within a year, you owe it to yourself and to her.  Get healthy and enjoy life... will living over 100 lbs overweight or more really living???  We are here for you girl and know where your at and where your going.  Say a prayer, a pro and con list and make the decision that will affect your next stage in life.   Honks all around you..... CHeryl

Hi Keela .    I had a pretty major panic attack when I got my date fortunately I only had a week to think about it. The people that are depressed and want things reversed are people I believe that thought this surgery was the easy way out. I wont lie it is not easy and the surgery alone will do absolutely nothing for you. It is a lifestyle change and the WLS just helps you a little along the way. You need to totally rethink food and eating. Exercise is a must. I had the surgery for the same reason you are scared to have it. I too am healthier then a lot of those having surgery out there, but my health was slipping I believe I got it time to have not done any permanent damage. My kids are my life and thinking about them growing up without me cause of complications from me being obese made me cry.    I am also a little bit stubborn and was not going through all the testing they put you through and not go through with it. It is perfectly normal to be scared going into this. I pray for all my friends going into this that Angels from Heaven will be guiding the hands of their surgeon and will be holding them while healing. You will be no different. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe Angels are among us . Know you are not alone going into this. If you are mentally prepared for the lifestyle changes you will succeed I have no doubt.

Keela,  I agree with what the others have said.  I just also want to add we are always here and we have been in places simular to yours (or heading to the simular place).  Please continue to post here the ups and the downs.  Some people only read the board and a post from one of us may answer a question or worry that they are having or they did not know about.  I dont always reply to posts but I do read them all.  You are in my prayers as well as your family.  Peggy

Keela, I've gone throught the same thing too!  At times, I still wonder if this is the right thing to do, but I don't see any alternatives and I AM willing to make the changes I need to make to make this work.  I've got youngish kids (14,13,10) and I worry about what will happen to them if something should happen to me.  But, I've also had alot of adversity in my life and my faith has gotten me through.  I am trusting that whatever happens with this, it is for a reason.  This is not going to be easy, but having a supportive family and friends network is the best!  You know we are here for you....we've had or are having all the same feelings and emotions!  It is an emotional rollercoaster...and it looks like it won't stop even after the surgery.  But.....I LOVE rollercoasters (and I'll be able to fit in the seat comfortably by summer!) ha!  List the pro's and con's and look at the rest of your life with your beautiful daughter...fit and ready to chase her around for the rest of your life!    It's a risk I feel (IMHO) is worth taking!  I trust my surgeon and his staff and my Creator.  Have Faith!  We're here for you!  Ruth 

Hi Keela! It is only natural to worry and think about things like that.  I am sure the majority of us did.  What helped me is to truly understand how minimal the risk is.  I believe (and I am not 100% sure) that the risk is the same, or even less than a c-section.  So I started thinking.  Women haven't said...I don't wanna get pregnant because there is a chance I could die.  I had a c-section with the twins and not once was it said out loud that there is the risk I could die (which there of course is).  I think it is just that minimal that they don't make a huge point about it.  I think since this is considered elective by certain standards they drive the risks home.  It is a life changing surgery and major life changes are needed.  They want to weed people out that only want it for quick gratification of the weighloss.  I have also had my gallbladder out when I had gallstones.  Not once did they say...you have a choice....we can leave those painful gallstones in, or you can have a surgery to remove your gallbladder in which you could die.  People have their gallbladder or appendix out all the time and it seems like no biggie.  The risk I believe is the same. Of course we all have these feelings of being scared, especially since i is mentioned so much....but it really helped me to look at it in terms of other surgeries and giving birth. As the time goes it gets soooo easy.  I don't even feel like I had surgery....and it is not hard at all to get all my liquids and protein in.  It is the best thing I have ever done.

Goodmorning,  Funny how different things look in the light of day... I want to thank you guys once again for your tremendous support.  The panic has seemed to have subsided this morning.  Last night after I posted "panic atack" I went through a lot of "before and after" pics. and occasionally looked up some of their profiles.  I went to bed feeling a little better, a little more inspired.  I know I'm ready to do this and succeed.  I feel that I've got  great support form my dh, my family, and from you guys. Thank you, I'm sure I may have another moment of weakness or two, but like you said it's normal.  I'm glad I can count on you guys.