How did you tell-explain to old friends and aquaintances?

Okay, so my close close friends know about the surgery and my immediate family and everyone is excited and supportive.  But I am wondering what to do about people we see once or twice a year.  Their old friends, but it's not like I call them often either---mostly get togethers with a big group for cookouts etc.  I am not going to call them out of the blue to tell them, but what do you do when you haven't seen someone in a long time.  Of course they will notice the difference.  I have lost weight a gazillion times.  I know when I do and go to something everyone always says I look great etc.  So what do you say now?  When someone says, wow you look great, what have you been doing?  Or even if they don't ask how--- Do you offer it up, or do you just say thanks?  So many people think (and not correctly) that it is the surgery that losses all the weight for you---they don't see it as a tool.  Realistically we are on a portion controlled low fat-low sugar-low calorie diet (or way of life for us).   Just curious.  I am not ashamed in any way, I just don't want that to always be the topic of conversation.  I feel like I will be explaining it all the time.  And there is no way that people aren't going to notice. You know, friends you see over the summers only, friends in another state you see once a year etc.

Before I had surgery only my close friends and family knew about it. As my weight loss starts to show more and more and people comment on it I just say "Thank you so much, I actually had Gastric Bypass surgery in August!" Now, I don't tell everyone. If it's someone that I don't particularly know or like that well I will just say thank you because I don't want to get into a discussion about my surgery with them. However, even the people I do tell don't usually have too much to say about it, the response is usually something along the lines of "Oh my Gosh! You look great! I know someone who had it too." etc. etc. sometimes people want to ask questions or they have been thinking about it themselves. I do agree with what you said about people thinking it's the surgery that loses the weight and so I generally follow up with something like "My surgery went really well but it hasn't been easy making all the changes, it's a lot of work!" I say if you are comfortable with the person let them know and if not just smile and say thanks.

I don't go out of my way to tell people, but certainly if it comes up in conversation I'll tell them - most often I find people have questions and are interested in the subject.  Here's where I'll admit that I was one who wouldn't consider surgery up until the past year - but then got desperate enough to get educated - I use to think that it just made you have a smaller stomach and forced you to eat less - which yes certainly is part but not all - I felt that I should be able to do it "myself". What a difference education can make in a person's thought process. Candace

You know I have friends that still don't know I had surgery and I kind of feel guilty for not telling them ahead of time,,, but I just know that if I had I would have got only negative comments.. So I didn't tell them but I may since its done now and I do not want anyone worrying about me cause of the sudden weight loss... So I am gonna just bite the bullet and tell them. Our daughters have been friends for about 6 years now..

Sadly, I keep no secrets and tell people I don't even know. Whether they want to know or not!! 

 This just happened to me the other day I hadnt seen these pple in two year the first question is what are you doing to lose weight...I first thing I said was the good old fashion diet of GASTRIC BYPASS they look at me shocked and I laughed and Said best thing I could have done for myself. and there reaction was you wasnt that big (this women is about 120lbs wet) I said well 230 is pretty heavy from the start now I weigh 169  and I am happy and healthier..They said wow you look great and very sexy..I said thank you I havent heard that in 20 years.. I walked off smiling and very happy I have had a new chance of life..I thank DR>CLOUGH every day.. I tell everyone from the start of the process to the present. GOT alot of negative reaction and postive.I keep no secrets and very PROUD of what I have done for ME!!!!! Barb

Before I got my "date" only my husband knew I was hoping to have the surgery. I was affraid to tell people because I didn't know if my insurance would pay for it and I didn't want people to ask why I wasn't losing weight if the insurance wasn't approved because I knew I couldn't afford to do it self pay. When I got the call that I was approved and got my date for surgery, I felt like I had won the lottery and I told everyone! lol Now 17 months post op and below goal I get asked all the time if I'm anorexic or if I have cancer. I think the rapid weight lost scares people. I tell people that ask that I had Gastric Bypass. If I don't know someone I still tell them, I just don't go into detail unless they ask for details. I'm not ashamed I'm PROUD of what I've been able to do for myself and I feel very blessed to have been given this "Tool". This was the best thing I have ever done for myself. ~dori~

I agree with you all that I am not ashamed and am excited to be doing this for myself.  I just am all set on negativity.  Once I get it done and make it through the first few months (which I hear are the hardest) I will feel much better about sharing. For example, my mom (who is going through the process too, just took her sister (my aunt) out to breakfast to tell her.  We knew she had to tell her ahead of time (and I was also gonna need help with the babies ha ha).  But her first reaction was "I just wish she would not have had to go such a drastic route for this.  Can't she just do it herself?"  Which is the same conversation I know I could have with a lot of people.  Yes I can do it myself---you have seen me do it 100 times....and that is the whole point.  That is all I do is diet. Anyways, I am glad I am not the only one that has felt uncomfortable about telling some people.  Once I lose my weight I will probably walk around with fat pics in my wallet to show anyone who will look lol. One thing I am excited about---my license expires in August....finally a new picture!

My license is the only "fat" picture I carry. lol It doesn't expire for another year. I keep telling my husband I need to get a new one because it doesn't look like me anymore. ~dori~