cant seem to get back on track

I know you guys probly hear this alot, but I am at the end of my rope here. I havent posted in such a long time, or even checked out the site. Im not doing so well. I am 2 years post-op, and gaining weight like crazy. I went to over eaters anonymous, and everyday, i tell myself "i messed up yesterday, so I will start again today" and it doesnt work. I am eating sweets, and carbs, and everything that I shouldnt be eating. Even tho I get sick sometimes, I still do it. I started at 286, my lowest weight was 162, and now I am back up to 180. I cant seem to stop. I try....I really do, but I am doing something wrong. I feel so helpless around food, and I just cant seem to say no. I know the bypass was a tool, and I need to work at it, but maybe I am jsut supposed to be over weight my whole life. Maybe I was given this opportunity, just so I could fail. I feel like crap! Again, I told myself today that I will start being better.......but I know I wont. I know I will just tell myself, well its only 1 time, or just this once wont hurt. I am going crazy inside. The gym is no fun, its horrible to go and pretend I want to be there. What can I do? I feel like the biggest failure ever, and I really want to turn this around. Obviously I am NOT good with diets and excersize, or I wouldnt be where I was...right??? Winter is coming.......and so are the pounds. What do I do? its so hard!

I know that your having a difficult time right now, but it sounds like you are facing deeper issues then just the weight loss. I have worked in the field and am a consumer of mental health services. I have had to deal with trauma, loss, and issues surrounding food. It's not uncommon to lose weight and then feel threatened, vulnerable and then need to protect. My only suggestion is seek counseling. This does affect the rest of your life. I care and would like keep in touch with you. You are not a failure. Failure is when one stops trying, you haven't stopped. You are reaching out.

Thank you for your kind words. I am going to seek counseling, again. My mom works at a mental health place, and i have been there before. At the time I didnt think that they could help my issues, but I think if I give it another try and stick with it, it cant hurt anything...right? thanks again to all of you! I am going to get this figured out one way or another, i dont want to go back to where I was 2 years ago, i cant let myself do it! ~Amber

C'mon Amber you can do this! You AREN'T a failure....you're just having a bad time right now. No, none of us were good at diet and exercise or we wouldn't be here to start with. But knowing that you need help is the first step...at least you aren't ingnoring the problem. So don't go to the gym, try something else. Got any small children to play with? Dog? It's amazing how many calories you can burn by having fun! One day at a time my friend.......C/

Amber amber amber...we cant have you feeling like this...this is not good...I want to help you in any way I can....email me when you get this and we will chat...Were going to get you back on track and hey you can help me too....we will work together email me...ok laurie