I need to get this of my chest

Ok, This post may be a little long but I need to keep it real and get some things off my chest. I apologize in advance if I frustrate, discourage, enrage or whatever else to anyone reading this. I had my Lap Rny on 08/18/05 and I simply do NOT have this rosy outlook that the majority of the people on the posts and profiles have. I am actually wondering what the heck I have done. For starters the hospital stay was horrible, the nurses sucked and I was in recovery until 10:oopm (my surgery was at 7:30AM) because there were no beds avail. The staff didn't follow my doctors orders so I couldn't go home the next day, had to wait until Sat. Now I know that you will have gas and you have to walk, etc etc. But this is CRAZY, when I asked my doc for meds for the gas he said, Oh just walk it off. You just walk it off, I have gas sitting in my abdomen and under my breast so bad that I'm hunched over, you walk it off. Then I have this drain, if you never had to have a drain let me just say that I envy you. This thing is literally a pain in my side, I have to drian it every couple of hours or so and imagine walking around w/ a bulb full of nasty liquid safety pinned to the inside of your shirt. Or trying to sleep so that you make sure you dont roll on it and have it unplug on you. And there's the Lovenox shots in the stomach 2x a day - have you ever had to stick something in your stomach? It hurts for like 10 min later. And I KNOW I'm not hardly getting in enough liquid, be i****er or protein. Cause all I want to do is sleep this nausea, lightheadead, yucky, stinky breathed feeling away. Now for those of you who are "doing great and feel absolutely wonderful" I applaud you and I envy you because right now I'm wondering what the heck I've done. Thanks for listening.

Hi Keisha, sorry that life is rough right now...I have to admit that a grin came to my face when I went back to read the date of your surgery.... You are LESS than one week from surgery....your innards have been rerouted, you are starving your body, your body was pumped full of air, and probably you can't find a truly comfortable position... I will be thinking about you....I too when through a somewhat negative frame of mind about 2-3 weeks after surgery..what had I done, blah, blah, blah....well, each day I improved and now am 16 months out, down 120 lbs and am gearing up for a full tummy tuck...which apparently is no walk in the park...so, I am worried that I will be back where I started...in pain, depressed, etc. I will tell you that walking IS really the best thing for you at this stage...honest!!!! Take short walks..and the best thing is that Maryland is having some wonderful weather so get out and enjoy it. Not only will it make you feel better physically, but mentally too....I promise!! Think positive thoughts while you walk. And try to remember that you are bascially 4 days from having a MAJOR surgical procedure!!! Best wishes and I WILL be sending positive thoughts your way.... RAE

Kiesha, I am 5 months post op today. I had the JP drain that you describe, only they took it out as I left the hospital. I do agree the gas that they put in you is enormous but truly if you walk it will subside more quickly. The shot you came home on is to prevent DVT a complication to not walking enough and well worth it to ensure that you didn't go through this surgery only to have a complication that could kill you in the end. Each day you should begin to start feeling better, but you need to do the 3 major rules, protein, water and exercise. Your hormones are also all out of wack and that could be causing some of the anger and feelings that your experiencing, just take a deep breath and go back to the reason you wanted this surgery to get you through your initial stages and this mourning of food phase. If you want to vent or need an ear feel free to email, just remember we all went through this part sunny or angry and we all came out on the other side as losers together. Good luck with your journey.

It will get better. I promise. It gets a little better each day. The end result(heck even the result you will have in just a few more weeks )will be so worth it. Hang in there! I know it hurts but you MUST walk. It really is the only thing to get rid of that gas. Even if you have to be hunched over in pain and holding on to stuff try to walk every couple hours if you can. Eventually it will go away. The walking also helps to prevent blod clots.

Keisha, You are going through the hardest part right now. My first eight days truly sucked. (I'm almost 3 months out) I cried every day. My kids took pictures of me sitting in the recliner and every so often I look at those pictures as a reminder of how far I have come. I looked as miserable as I was. It was the second week when I started having periods of feeling "normal" again...and each day got a little bit better and better. It's normal at this point for you to ask yourself "what have I done?" I think we all have asked that question. It's not easy making that adjustment in your mind.....I know I WANTED to eat....I wasn't hungry...I felt sick to my stomach...but I WANTED to eat....something...anything....It was all in my mind. I guess that's what they call "head hunger." I was mad at everyone eating in front of me...sitting right next to me. It took a few weeks for me to get that straight in my mind. Don't panic about the water just yet...just sip what you can when you can. Try it different ways to see what feels best on your pouch ****d, hot, room temperature, crystal light, decaf tea...whatever). I was having major nausea, so my doc gave me suppositories for it...they work very well! You might be able to get your doc to give you the same stuff. We are here for you. Go ahead and vent. I hope you are feeling better soon!!! Take care Pam

I didn't have the drain - but pretty much everything else you said - yep, been there. Took the Lovenox shots every day for over a month, and sometimes it left me yellowish, bleeding and sore. Couldn't breathe well for a week. The doctors at the hospital put a catheter in my bladder (I'm a guy, so you figure it out) and couldn't get it *OUT* after I woke up - they were *YANKING* on the thing. I was dry, hot miserable and didn't get a wink of sleep. I used up my morphine as fast as they re-filled it, and I made liberal use of every pain med given me. That being said, I was *determined* to get well - I walked twice as far as they asked me to, every time. I did my spirometer exercises, making sure I did better and longer than they asked. But -- I got dizzy every time I stood up, or walked for more than a few minutes. I spent weeks lying down. I got UNBELIEVABLE pain every time I ate any faster than a tiny nibble at a time. And sometimes there was terrible gas and pain for no reason at all. I don't think anyone is saying it was all fun and games - if anything, it gives me a way of looking at people who think I took the EASY way out and telling them how damned stupid they are, if they think that.

Hang in there, Keisha. I felt the same way as you when I was newly postop. It does get better as time goes by and you will see that your early struggles are going to be worth it in the end!

I am sorry to hear your having a hard time. It will like everyone said get better. I rememer the first 2 weeks I could not stand anything not even water!!! My family was getting worried and they would bring me 10 different things to get me to just get some type of fluid in me. It was very hard for me but I got better and now I can eat and drink like normal well normal for a wls person...LOL. Just make sure to make the effort that is what counts most important is walking you dont want to get a blood clot I was so worried about that I would walk back and forth from my living room down my hall and back at least a few times every hour or so. But keep your sprits up and all will get better.