Three Weeks Post-op and Depressed!

I was 3 week post-op yesterday. I seem to be really depressed. I am doing great on the weight loss I have lost 38lbs and I am pleased with the results but I am frustrated that I still have so much trouble getting around. Last year I had both knees replaced and I still can hardly walk. I really miss the foods that I onced ate. Eating out was always a social event for me and my family but now I feel as little as I am able to each it isn't worth it. I am jealous when my family goes out to eat and I can't. I know that this is a mind set, but nevertheless, I am having real problems with this. I guess that I a greeving food. I must confess that I have accererated the progression of food slighly without any problems. Has anyone else experienced this or am I alone. My wife tells me you knew how this was going to be but head knowledge and living it are different.

I hope this helps you look to a brighter future.... We are having a Crab Feast at my work for the employees, everyone has been talking about it for a month, finally my boss say today, I am going to eat so many crabs I won't be able to eat for a week. I looked at her in amazement and for the first time it hit me..... even though it is a crab feast with lots of food, until my boss said that, it never dawned on me that food was why most poeple were going.... you see somewhere in the last year my mind set changed and for the first time I realized that I enjoy the social part of going out now...... It will come for you, when you least expect it. Karen D 310/171/165

Dear Bill-- First it was great meeting you last week at the Frederick meeting. And the Frederick List would be a great place to post this as well. Most, if not all of us, go through a mourning phase as we begin this stage of our journey. For a long time food was thought of as a friend. We used it to celebrate the best momemnts of our lives. We also used it to comfort ourselves when things were very bad, sad, scary and confusing. It was a cheap, yet ultimately unhelpful therapist. I have found that eating out is now much more than just the food. It is one of the reasons that many in the Frederick group go out to eat dinner togehter after the metings. Just becasue we don't eat as much doesn't mean that we don't eat at all. Many in the group just order appetizers. Then there are those who order a whole meal knowing the are taking half, if not more, of it home with them. It is in going to these after meeting dinners that I learned as a pre-op that I wasn't giving up food altogher but that I was making lifestyle changes in the way that I approached meals and social gatherings that surrounded food. One of the better outcomes of this is that I have really learned to listen to people more instead of just concentrating on my food. It still takes me 30-60 minutes or longer to consume my meal because I am focussed on the people around me. Getting to know them better and incorporating them into my life. My obesity made me a very lonely and isolated person. This is new behavior for me since WLS and I can say that I am very out going now and have numerous friends because once I gave up the idea that food was my friend I was free to allow other people into my life to help take up the void that food once filled. The depression could also be as a result of the surgery itself. Many people have postoperative depression as a result of the anesthesia. It stays in the system for weeks. I had the same thing after my Tummy Tuck. Accelerating the progression of food, as I'm sure you know, is a bad idea even if you have not had any side effects from it. One reason for this is that this a behavior modification period. This diet regime is designed to help you give up cravings for the wrong types of foods. If you decide that this and this didn't hurt me because I ate it sooner than I was supposed to then pretty soon you will graduate to thinking that I can eat this and this without a problem even though I was told never to eat those things again. Or you will say to yourself "Gee, look how much I can eat and get away with and not have a problem." It won't be too long before you will stop losing weight and be one of those who ends up regaining everything that they lost. Believe me I've seen this happen time and time again. Give yourself more time. Once you lose some more weight yu will be able to ambulate better. Some people have used this time to strengthen the other muscles in their legs so that they would be better prepared as the weight came off. Your insurance should cover some physical therapy for that. Not sure that I answered all your quandries but feel free to write again if you don't get them answered and try the Frederick list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/OSSG_Frederick/ Michelle "Pookie" Engelmann Dr. William Marcus BPD 7/20/00 -335 lbs

Hey William... All I can say is patience ~ it all comes in time! You will find creative ways to make the drive thru your friend, and eating out in restaurants. For me I love that I can't eat as much as everyone else...it gives me more time to TALK and more MONEY to buy new clothes with! For me when I first had surgery and I could only eat a medicine cap full of food and everyone else was eating mounds of food I just kept looking at the big picture of what I was going to be in a year ~ HAPPY & THIN, or at least a hell of a lot less of a person then I was at that time! Even to date I can only eat a hand full of food, but I am THANKFUL - I love it...I like the control that I have now. Finally I control my food intake and it does not control me. 38LBS is AWESOME~ instead of wanting that fast food go buy a pair of GOAL PANTS, every time you are thinking about what your not getting in food consumption just look at those pants that much sooner then later are going to be a reality! Once you start not only feeling the difference but seeing it too, your mindset will change. Time heals ~ Patty 7/9/04 Dr.Schweitzer 279/142 (exceeded my personal goal )

Congratulations on your weight loss! I remember the time after my surgery as being filled with emotional ups and downs, but I did survive. I remember one night I was so filled with tension - this was about 3 weeks out - and I was bored and tired and hurting. I asked my husband to press on one spot on my shoulder blade, and when he did I just started bawling. It was like all the tension was accumulating right in that spot. Once I released it, I felt a ton better. This might sound stupid, but try watching a movie that makes you cry (this works much better for women, I must say) and see if a good old, down and dirty crying jag makes you feel better. Depression can be part of the recovery process, but you are right on the money when you talk about grieving for food. For so many of us, food filled time, provided comfort, and gave us something to do with our hands plus it tasted good! Now, when you can't eat much, you have more time to think about what you can't or don't have. You may find it helpful to find an OA meeting to go to, sometimes food is an addiction that's just as powerful as any narcotic. I'd caution you - accelerating the types of foods you can eat so early on can be a risky process and a slippery slope. From the medical standpoint, you could do harm to your pouch by eating foods that have too much texture at this point. And if you are eating non-protein foods, you will start losing muscle mass because your body needs it. And be careful here - if you start out trying to work around the program, you may be setting yourself up for a much slower weight loss or even none at all.

OMG! Do I know where you are comming from. I was depressed for about a mont. I would cay and say things like "I can't wait to just be normal agian". And please do be carefull what you eat and how much. I have lost about 123 lb in 16 months, but now that I can eat more these last 50 pounds or so are the hardest. If I just stuck to what I was supposed to do I wouldn't be struggling l;ike I am now. I have to kick it into high gear again to loose the last bit of weight. As you I also mourned food. For me and my family eating out is very much a big part of our socilixing and we do still go out quite a bit. I just try to get in my protein and veggies first. I wish sometimes I ate less when I do eat but because I know I can, I do. I do not want to be FAT ever again. But I have been hanging around the same weight for about 8 months. I do know I am an emotional eater and the past month has been hard on me I have acctuly gained 5 pounds. Just be carefull and remember where you came from and how easly it is to get back there. As for the depression it will go away the first time you do not have to worry if you will fit in to a booth at a restraunt of if that chair will hold my weight. Even better the forst time you can go on roller coasters at Hershy Park or Six Flaggs. Hang in there. Trust me and all of us it is well worth it. I just wish I did this years ago. Patty Novik 3/05 310 9/15 185 And 50 or so more to go

William: I really think depression is normal after this type of surgery. I was on a heavy dose of depression med before surgery, and had to have it increased the day after surgery. Could not stop crying. Everybody is different. Try to participate with the family social functions even if you can only eat just a small amount. It will make you feel better, just to get out. It is OK to mourn food, we all do. But then get over it and try to stick to the prescribed regamin. I believe the first six weeks is a period of flushing and de-junking our body of our past "sins". Then slowly add the proper types of food with the required protein. I am not real familuer (sp)with the type of surgery you had, but if you hope to reach a certain goal before you have the rest of the surgery, you need to keep on the proper diet. Why not ask your PCP for some depression meds, they do help and that will help put you in the right frame of mind to be successful. Good luck and keep posting. Beverly