Understanding others reactions to weight loss??

HI Sue, First of all, congrats on your loss....You look wonderful. I have learned that acknowledging another person's weight loss can sometimes be a double edged sword. A lot of people want privacy; they either do not wish to disclose the amount of weight they have lost or in some cases, that they even had the surgery at all. Some others feel that these compliments reinforce the notion that when we were at our heaviest, somehow we did not look good. Translation... fat = ugly. That could be it. But, that does nothing for you when you know you look different, you feel different, and nobody says a word. I guess you will just have to comfort yourself with your progress, and not worry about getting compliments from others. I know that sounds kind of cut and dry, but perhaps those around you are just trying to give you space and respect your privacy while you make this fabulous transition. Andrea

Thanks Andrea. You are right, I do need to comfort myself and not worry so much about getting compliments from others. It is hard, but I am trying. You made a great point about how one might think that a compliment about losing weight could be misinterpreted as meaning we didn't look good before when we were at our heaviest or that maybe everyone is trying to respect my privacy by not saying anything at all? I never thought of it that way. It is definitely something to think about. SueZ

Sue, Just to reassure you that it has happened to others. I weighed 398 lbs last July 28th. By the time of my surgery on March 24th of this year, I had lost 60 lbs. Not one person noticed. I would go through my binges because they honestly couldn't tell. By two months after surgery everyone was noticing, and I was almost another 60lbs down. People do have a picture of what you look like in their head and when that changes is when they begin to notice. My husband who saw me every day couldn't tell either then one day it was there. I have had a lot of comments and they all aren't great. I had one doctor that one of my individuals sees and he looked at me and goes you lost a lot in your face. All I could think is I was pushing a 34 and now I am in a 16-18 and you only noticed my face. Yesterday I had a lady walk up to me at the grocery store and ask me if I was pregnant. When I said no, she said oh I get like that too. Get like what? Sometimes I want people to keep their opinions to themselves. When you need to reassure yourself, go stand on your scale and then put on the largest clothing item that you had and it will make you feel better. On dark days that is what I do. I don't have bad or good days I just have emotional days and need my own reassurance that I didn't wake up weighing 398 lbs again. Good luck with your journey and keep up the great work. Don't let what others say or don't say bother you, because not everyone wants you to lose weight either, they don't want to accept that it's not your weight who makes you who you are. BTW you do look great. Denise