Feelings prior to surgery...

Is this normal? MOST of the time, I feel like I haven't felt for a long time... like a kid anticipating a trip to Disney World or something. Every now and then, I think "This is !@#$ crazy. What am I doing to myself." It's not like "Well gee, I'm taking a big risk here." It's like a moment of panic where you suddenly see everything from the opposite perspective. I haven't had it happen very often. When it does, I just try to think of something else because I know the feeling will go away. Kind of like when you are lying awake in bed at night worrying about stuff... but you know you are being silly because none of the stuff you are worrying about will bother you at all in the morning. It hasn't stopped me from pressing on with determination. I am cleaning out my kitchen in preparation for the arrival of my in-laws and along the way I think "Is this something I will eat within the next month or can eat after surgery?" If it isn't, I pitch it. I had one of my moments during this process but continued to throw away the bad food because I know I am going to do this, despite these moments. I think maybe it happens when I've had too much caffeine. I'm going to ween myself off the stuff. I need to anyway. I don't need to be going through withdrawal close to or just after surgery. I think it will help. It has helped in the past. Maybe if I wasn't loaded with it, it would just be a "considering the risk" kind of moment. Did this happen to any of you? If so, how often? How intense? I'm not scheduled til August. July going to be a busy month with house guests and getting all my paperwork together, etc. I won't have much time for any "moments." You know, I feel better already. As I was scrolling down the emoticons and saw the one for "angst" I realized I am probably not alone here. lol

Your "normal" was exactly my "normal"...I was like a kid on Christmas morning...except it lasted for a month...except a few weeks prior to surgery I had a moment of fear...read my profile and see my March/April 2004 timeframe posts.... BTW, for me, pre-op was SO MUCH HARDER than post-op...all the "what-if's" and nerves...I was ready to get on with it.... I am 14 months out, down 118 lbs!!!! I am scheduled for a tummy tuck Sept 19th!! Am I nervous? Not yet...but the nervous energy has already started. Best wishes to you!! RAE

Thanks. Glad to hear I'm not a loon. Nice pun. lol I'm sure I will have a few more of these moments regardless of what I do to try and quell them, but I hope getting off the caffeine will take the intensity down a notch or two. I'm looking at your profile... what is it with wanting to get the teeth cleaned prior to surgery? I have been thinking the exact same thing. lol What is the memory page? Should I stay away from it? I love reading people's journals and looking at the before 'n afters. Good luck with the tummy tuck!

I spent much of my pre-op time feeling happy about the decision, excited about the possibilities, nervous about getting insurance approval, curious about how I'd do after surgery... It wasn't until I was lying on the operating table that I suddenly thought, "OH $@#!!!!!!, WHAT AM I DOING? YIKES!" I got to enjoy that sensation of pure panic for about two minutes, and then *poof* someone put sleepy juice into my IV and the next thing I know I've got steristrips plastered all over my belly. So don't worry, you're normal. Or at least as normal as I am.

Thanks for replying. I am having all those other feelings too. Looked at your profile. What are/did you change your career to? I'm going from I.T. mgmt to development. You're doing a good job with yourself. By the way, your cheeks look fine. They're a lot more defined, and you're going to end up with the apple cheeks of a supermodel.

Thanks! Pity I'll never have the height of a supermodel. Heck, I'd settle for being five foot even, but it's a wee bit late for a growth spurt. Hopefully you'll be a faster loser than I am - it would be hard to lose more slowly. (OTOH, nothing upsets my pouch, so it's not all bad) I was in tech support, tried to move into database programming just as the tech crash happened. Oops. I'm working on finishing my undergrad degree finally, and then hope to get a Masters in library science or information management (probably the latter as I'm more interested in corporate knowledge management and research than archiving/cataloging). When it comes to information technology, I realized that I'm much more interested in the information than the technology... I read your profile too - hurray, someone else who understands wOOtage! So how many O'Reilly books do you own? (we have some Mac, some Linux, some Oracle, some Perl, goodness knows what else...)

I'm pre op and awaiting insurance decision. But once approved (being optimistic!) things will probably move quickly, so I have run the gamot of feelings, too. I equate it to the vacation to Disney World on an airplane! I'm not the world's best flyer, and get a little scared I'm going to die in a plane crash every time I go on vacation via air - but it's still the best way to get from where I am to my desired destination, so I make myself get over it!!! That's exactly the way I feel about WLS. Good luck!!

Wow.. that's a perfect description. I *hate* flying... mostly when it's overseas... but it's something I have to do. If I can, I get some valium for the trip from my doctor. I don't suppose it would be a good idea to ask for valium for WLS anticipation. LOL Kinda describes the procedure too. You don't HAVE to fly, but realistically, if you want to cut out a certain life for yourself... see the world, have good jobs that require travel, or have in-laws in the UK... you're going to need to fly. I used to love flying. I don't know what happened. I think the older I get, the less I see people surviving crashes on those big yellow raft things. It all started moving quickly when I finally got to my consultation. I have a date of Aug 15, but now it looks like there's a chance UHC might pay up. I hope that doesn't slow things down. I want it overwith. Thanks. Good luck with your insurance!

Hi Vicky What you are feeling is normal and we all went through it.I made up my mind and nothing was turning me back.I was 565 on Dec 1 2003(surgery day) and today almost 19 months later I weigh 278 and I feel great,I have a whole new life and everything has changed for the better.I am never home and I do all the things I only dreamed about,I spent too many years watching the world go by my window and now at 45 I awake to a whole new world,one without stares and rude remarks.I wish you nothing but the best and I am so happy for you...................steve c

Congrats on your tremendous success! I can't wait to be on your side of things! Thanks. Glad this is normal. I kind of figured it would be, but wanted to see where on the scale of anxiety I fell. :D