My PCP tried to talk me out of WLS today

Ever since I decided in September that I wanted to have WLS I have been all systems go.  Attending info sessions, making appointments, calling here there and everywhere to get my history information together.  I have been so pumped and feeling like I was getting all of my ducks in a row.

I called my PCP's office today to ask him to refer me to get a pulmonary function test done for my insurance approval.  He agreed and he said "I see you are determined to do this, so I am going to stay out of your way...I don't agree with what you are doing, but I'll stay out of your way."  It bothered me that he said that because I thought he was on my side.  I wrote him a 2 page letter asking for his help...he wrote me a referral...and he never once said he didn't agree with it.  He kind of let some of the wind out of my sails.  I'm feeling a little sad and discouraged.

I went on to tell him that I have done tons of research and I know what I want to do and then he begins to suggest to me that I can do it myself.  I asked him to refer me to a psychiatrist in this conversation so that I'll have an outlet for my emotions after surgery and he tells me, "you don't have to wait until surgery...you can see him now and maybe the surgery won't be necessary.  You can talk to someone and get your head straight and be happy with yourself"  As if it is that easy!!!

I need a letter of medical neccessity from this man!!  I'm sure my emotional state right now is temporary...but I feel like crying.

I know this surgery is necessary for my health, my happiness and my future.  Why doesn't he know that??  I jokingly said "no, I'm still getting the surgery".  And he seemed kind of short after that.  He has introduced that smidgen of doubt..."Is this the right thing?  Should I try dieting again? Am I giving up too easily?" 

As I said, I'm sure this will pass but I needed to vent. 

C. Melissa

Hey Melissa. First I will say that I totally get how you are feeling the wind was let out of your sails. :( This is such an arduous process already, that when you meet someone along the way with a dissenting opinion, it's tough to take. Let alone the fact it is your doctor.

Not all physicians feel the same as he does. In fact quite the opposite. And the negative effects of obesity are not in your head...they are very real. I hate to recommend doctor jumping, but if this is something you are definitely going to do, it is going to take a lot of life changes and a lot of support, so perhaps you might want to consider choose another primary. Just my 2 cents, for what it's worth. I know it's very hard to leave a doctor that you've been with for a long time, but in order to change our lives, we have to make tough decisions. If he is still willing to write the letter, you can try and get your support elsewhere but you will need a primary physician who takes a genuine interest in your care after surgery and being supportive is part of that.

Good luck to you and I hope you are not too discouraged. It's a little bit different for everyone but for ME, this has been the best decision I have ever made. I am healthier and happier on a level I had no idea I could achieve. I wish the same for you. For me, having this surgery was not giving up. It's winning the battle against something that was killling me. Just keep on, keepin on, girl. :)

" I am healthier and happier on a level I had no idea I could achieve."

love to hear that :)

Hi Laura.  Thanks so much for your response.  I'm pretty sure my PCP will be willing to write the letter I just didn't appreciate him trying to talk me out of it when he knew that I was gung-ho for it.  I'm going to give him another shot but if he continues being negative I will definitely switch.  He's a fairly new doctor for me anyway but I really thought I found a good one. 

I'm so happy to hear of your happiness and succes!!  That is why I am having this surgery so that I can feel as you do now...healthy and happy! 

I'm keepin on!! 

I really like my PCP as a person but he is dead set against WLS. He has tried to talk me out of it every step of the way. I found a WLS-friendly PCP yesterday and am switching. I am the final arbiter of my health care. My job is to put together a healthe care "team" of people who understand my situation and who support me in my choices.

My advice: find yourself a WLS-friendly PCP.

I feel the same way about my PCP.  He's a really nice guy and he said if I needed anything let him know which is why I was so surprised at how he really felt.  Which doctor are you switching to?  I live in Upper Marlboro too. 

I can not say whether you personally should get surgery, since I really do not know enough about you. But you are above 300 lbs based on your ticker and you have probably tried to lose it most of your life. I know for myself, I would never have gotten to a better place w/out the surgery. It just wasn't going to happen. I needed it forced on me. I had no energy and was depressed chronically. Now I am happy most of the time, have tons of energy and have a life I did not have before surgery. Your doctor can never understand that because they don't feel the way severely obese people feel. He can not understand how horrible it is to live so heavy and so depressed. so power on and tell him to not stand in your way! if he does, get a new one as suggested.

Thank you Nicole!!  That's the plan.

hi it kinda sucks when your pcp acts like that. But i just wanted to let you know that i had my rny with DRSchweitzer on june 1 2010   and the day of surgery i weighted 281 and today i weigh in at 210   i love him he is a great dr   good luck  i know you will do great :)

Each of us bring to today all of our yesterdays.  Your PCP may have some personal negative experience with WLS that is clouding his judgment.  As we all know surgery is not without its risks.  We weigh our options and make our decisions.  If your decision is for WLS the go forward with a positive outlook.  You are young and should have a very good outcome.  Do your research and try to come up with the best plan for yourself.  Read the forums and look to see which procedures have the best success rates and lowest long term complications.  I don't know what you have chosen for yourself.  I am working my way through all of the hoops to get a VSG or sleeve.  Been struggling with the process for 9 months now and it probably will take a good bit longer.  WLS is a life altering surgery that is very hard if not impossible thing to change your mind about once the surgery is done.  I do believe that is partly why we are made to think about it long and hard.  We have to understand and be ready to do what is required of success.  And we must choose our Dr's. carefully.  Your PCP may be good for you or one you have to change from, time will tell.  But you must be true to yourself, once you are confident and knowledgeable about what you are signing up for.  Good Luck and may you have a happy healthy future.