I'm my BIGGEST ENEMY!

I guess you can say, I'm working my SECOND STEP!  The first is to realize I'm powerless of my addiction (food), the second is that I'm realizing I can't do it alone, I need help!  Fortunately (and unfortunately) I learned the 12 steps, many years ago, through a family member.  Anyone that thinks WLS is MAGIC or a MIRACLE, is so wrong, NO MAGIC and the MIRACLE is in YOU!  When I had the band, almost a year ago, I was sooooo ready and excited, and did so well, in the beginning.  Then I slowly came to realize the band restricted the amount you ate, NOT what you eat!  Also learned some other bad habits, with eating, that I won't share, as if you don't know them, you DON'T need to, and hopefully you won't learn them! 

I can remember, back in 1984, when I separated from my first husband, all my friends supported me, UNTIL I actually did it, then didn't hear from them again.  It hit too close to home, and they couldn't deal with it.  I really needed their love, help, and support then, as I need yours NOW!

I've been watching RUBY every Sunday night, as I admire her so much and can so totally relate to her.  Last night, she and her friends began a "6 DAY INTENSIVE".  It began, on the show last night, but will probably not be viewed until next Sunday night.  But I realized what a real help that would be and wish I could find something like that, as I'd be packed in a minute and on my way!  I didn't go through what I did, last year, to fall backwards.  I only want to go forward!!  But, I know I need help and can't do it alone!  It isn't easy writing this, and if you think mascara runs when dry, it's even worse, as you're applying it!  I'm nearly 64 and want to live to see my 2 darling grandsons grow, get married and have GREAT GRANDCHILDREN for me!  Posting this as URGENT, as to me, it IS!

Ginger  

Hi Ginger...

I'm here and I'll help but I'm not sure what I can do...

I agree that WLS is not magic... and we do  have to work it


do you have a written plan of food, fluilds and fitness (what I like to call the 3Fs)....

for me personally what has saved me  is developing an addiction to something other than food...  in my case YOGA....

so tell me becasue I have ADHD and I'm dense... exactly what you need from me.  feel free to PM if you would prefer...

((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))) Ginger!  I'm sorry you are going through this.  You've always been so positive.  I'm the first to kick and scream that band life is HARD!  Very hard.  I am however thankfull that there are many things I can't eat but like you mentioned there are ways around it with other things and I fully admit that.  I too have horrible relationship and addiction to food. Some days I could care less and other days it's all I think about it. 

At really only a little over 10 months out, I am certain you are target for band weightloss on average.  I know you dont have yoru stats posted anymore when you did I remembered them being in range. Sometimes we all expect too much of ourselves - I am the queen of that.  It's easier said than done but try focusing on the weight you lost rather than the weight you have not lost.

Have you had a follow up visit lately and a fill?  I know you are far from your Dr. but maybe that is what you need.  I'm more accountable by being diligent about going for a visit 1x a month.  I get it all out on the table about what is going on and I'm super honest about my behavior.  I will never be a model bandster, I'm rebellious in many ways even if it's kinda like sabatoging myself.  It's twisted yeah but somestimes my head is just not on straight. 

I'm curious if you want to share what you main issues are right now? I know mine are social events - they put me in a downward spiral to eat horrible for a week following and then also impulsive food buying. 

But as you said to me many times, just life your life which is what I am doing.  I try not to stress about band life everyday and I'm not on a diet - the only thing I measure is my protein powder and thanks to you I'm addicted to BF - Choc PB. 

Try cutting back on one thing that is tempting you or making a change to it for a better choice.  Just one thing at a time.  Too much at once makes me so anxious and I just fail or do bad.  I was on an m&m binge for awhile.  I always had bag with me...now I have a few here and there but they are not my go to thing right now.  I do have a forbidden foods list of things I do not allow myself to buy.  If I am out and it's being served I will indulge but certain things I just don't buy.  Maybe there is something in your food plan like that where you decide not to buy but allow your self to have it out. 

Let me know if I can help. 

You already know I SIMPLY ADORE YOU!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!! You have the tool honey all you need is to get back on track. Food cravings KILL ME like you dont even know so what I do is ALLOW MYSELF to have them ONCE IN A WHILE! Like my fav thing is a Maple Frosted Donut (OMG) so I will buy ONE a week and eat it over two different days. Its a BIG treat for me but I burn those carbs off. I dont eat a whole one and I dont binge but I do NOT deprive myself. My Doc said that is a HUGE NO~NO!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! You know how to reach me if you need me............YOUR NOT ALONE!!!!!!!

Thanks, all!  I know I have to take 1 day at a time, and sometimes break that day up into segments. How well we all know, it's NOT easy.  Has anyone heard of a "6 day intensive" program?  

No I have not... is it a recovery program?

I don'****ch Ruby to be honest I can't stand her...

I think it's probably an intense, indepth look at why a person eats, as we many times eat when we're NOT even hungry.  I really can't say I get hungry, and I know I don't need a fill!  The band works fine, when I let it!  It's me that's not working fine!   

You are all so lucky, to be in an area, where there are so many of you.  It's very difficult here, as no one is here, for very long!  I know I can't expect anyone to do it for me, but support is so important.  My husband wants to see me do well, but doesn't realize how difficult it is for me, when he eats the things he does.
If I don't get them for him, I have to hear him complain, and then he gets them for himself.  But still, it's no ones fault by my own!
 

I think it must be very hard to be isolated and do this.   I have lunch at least once a week with WLS friends...

and i'm blessed that my DH has had the surgery too so he gets it totally...

it's very hard for us to do this.. they fix our guts but not our brains...

Ginger,

Are there any support groups near you?  What about in Delaware? 

The first Saturday of the month, Barix holds a 4-hour support group.  Maybe you should consider driving up to PA and attending.  I drive two hours one way to get there.  It's so worth it.  The support is amazing!

If can PM me if you need to chat.  Good luck to you.  We can do this -- one day at a time, one meal at a time!

Debbie