Hard to stay "up" when you continually get knocked down
Well,, I don't know what to say or do. Right now should be a happy time in my life,, but everytime I try to turn a corner I get knocked down.
Most recently. There were plans for everyone to go to Disney for Thanksgiving in 2010. My mother has never had all the grandkids together in the same place at the same time. So I got in touch with an old friend who owns a travel agency, and got quotes. In my quote, I had my family, Both my sisters families, (one in Chicago on in Boston) my mother and my sister in law. I sent these to everyone. Tuesday, I get an e-mail forwarded from my sister from my other sister with quotes from her travel agent. Guess what,, My family wasn't listed on it.
To top it off,, Jessika didn't recieve a SINGLE BIRTHDAY WISH FROM ANYONE outside of my house. When I called to Boston to make sure mom was ok,, she was dumbfounded why I would think anything was wrong. Well lets see,,, you didn't send your grand daughter a card or call. Fast forward a couple of weeks,, did I get a single birthday wish from anyone? NOPE, ZIP. NADA. Now I can deal with no-one from my family wishing my a happy birthday,, Lord knows I got plenty from friends here and from FB, and I do appreaciate those,, I really do, but why the hell is my family outside the loop? Lets see,, since Jessika was born,, we have drove to Chicago twice 12 plus hours,, Boston,,5 or 6 times,, drive varies from 8 to 16 hrs. How many times has anyone come here,,,,,,,, mom came down once. Come on,, I am a single income family,, El can't,,, won't drive interstate,, so the driving is up to me.
Am I being,,, whatever? This crap leads to even tougher times in my marrage. We basically have no other family, El just recently heard from her sister,, who we found out got married,, and is expecting a baby in May. El wants to fly out to CA next month when the baby arrives, but I cannot afford to fly everyone out. It will be tough to fly her out much less the girls and myself. If we can swing a plane ticket to send her out,,, well that screws me for work,,, I need to leave here by 6:30am for work,, girls are too young to get themselves to school by themselves, so even if I could somehow get them to school,,, I can't pick them up,, although I could ask friends to take them home and get them after work. But VZ doesn't give a crap anyway,, so getting them to school is the issue.
So back to the original issue,, if I can swing the $6000 plus airfare Disney trip,, do I screw the girls out of the extended family get together and go just as us four,, (or three who knows what will happen by then) I don't even know where they are staying,, or what the schedule. I am just so done with everything, I should be so happy right now,, but the onlything I have going for me is my weight loss,, and I wonder if that is worth it, it doesn't seem to be helping at all at home,, it didn't seem to help when I tore my knee up in Feb.
Sorry to bring everyone down,, I had to vent,, Thanks everyone for the support you all have given me,, it true means a lot.
Tom
Most recently. There were plans for everyone to go to Disney for Thanksgiving in 2010. My mother has never had all the grandkids together in the same place at the same time. So I got in touch with an old friend who owns a travel agency, and got quotes. In my quote, I had my family, Both my sisters families, (one in Chicago on in Boston) my mother and my sister in law. I sent these to everyone. Tuesday, I get an e-mail forwarded from my sister from my other sister with quotes from her travel agent. Guess what,, My family wasn't listed on it.
To top it off,, Jessika didn't recieve a SINGLE BIRTHDAY WISH FROM ANYONE outside of my house. When I called to Boston to make sure mom was ok,, she was dumbfounded why I would think anything was wrong. Well lets see,,, you didn't send your grand daughter a card or call. Fast forward a couple of weeks,, did I get a single birthday wish from anyone? NOPE, ZIP. NADA. Now I can deal with no-one from my family wishing my a happy birthday,, Lord knows I got plenty from friends here and from FB, and I do appreaciate those,, I really do, but why the hell is my family outside the loop? Lets see,, since Jessika was born,, we have drove to Chicago twice 12 plus hours,, Boston,,5 or 6 times,, drive varies from 8 to 16 hrs. How many times has anyone come here,,,,,,,, mom came down once. Come on,, I am a single income family,, El can't,,, won't drive interstate,, so the driving is up to me.
Am I being,,, whatever? This crap leads to even tougher times in my marrage. We basically have no other family, El just recently heard from her sister,, who we found out got married,, and is expecting a baby in May. El wants to fly out to CA next month when the baby arrives, but I cannot afford to fly everyone out. It will be tough to fly her out much less the girls and myself. If we can swing a plane ticket to send her out,,, well that screws me for work,,, I need to leave here by 6:30am for work,, girls are too young to get themselves to school by themselves, so even if I could somehow get them to school,,, I can't pick them up,, although I could ask friends to take them home and get them after work. But VZ doesn't give a crap anyway,, so getting them to school is the issue.
So back to the original issue,, if I can swing the $6000 plus airfare Disney trip,, do I screw the girls out of the extended family get together and go just as us four,, (or three who knows what will happen by then) I don't even know where they are staying,, or what the schedule. I am just so done with everything, I should be so happy right now,, but the onlything I have going for me is my weight loss,, and I wonder if that is worth it, it doesn't seem to be helping at all at home,, it didn't seem to help when I tore my knee up in Feb.
Sorry to bring everyone down,, I had to vent,, Thanks everyone for the support you all have given me,, it true means a lot.
Tom
People laugh because I'm different, I laugh because they are all the same
Tom,
Sorry you are going through this, and sorry your family hurt you and your daughter by not wishing you both a happy birthday!
You should go ahead with the plans for the four of you to go to Disney and have a BALL. I've never been to Disney, but if you can afford it, I'm sure you will have the time of your life with your own family. Surround yourself with positivity and leave the negative behind. You have so much to be proud of, happy about, and a beautiful family too! Your success is AWESOME!
Have a great day!
Debbie
Sorry you are going through this, and sorry your family hurt you and your daughter by not wishing you both a happy birthday!
You should go ahead with the plans for the four of you to go to Disney and have a BALL. I've never been to Disney, but if you can afford it, I'm sure you will have the time of your life with your own family. Surround yourself with positivity and leave the negative behind. You have so much to be proud of, happy about, and a beautiful family too! Your success is AWESOME!
Have a great day!
Debbie
That sucks. We're ingrained from an early age to believe that no matter what, our family will be behind us a 100% and they'll be there when nobody else will. And when they aren't, it hurts!
It's sad that your family is being insensitive. You should let them know how the whole quote thing was insensitive. I would have just replied and said, so y'all don't want us going to Disney with the family?
Do you have AAA? How many days are you going to Disney for? I remember going to Disney CA for my honeymoon and AAA got us a GREAT deal. Now, there were only 2 of us so I am not sure how much more adding kids could be. I know Costco and Sam's Clubs have deals for them too. Because they don't get a commission like a travel agent would make, you might save some money.
Good luck with everything, doesn't it seem like when it rains, it pours?
It's sad that your family is being insensitive. You should let them know how the whole quote thing was insensitive. I would have just replied and said, so y'all don't want us going to Disney with the family?
Do you have AAA? How many days are you going to Disney for? I remember going to Disney CA for my honeymoon and AAA got us a GREAT deal. Now, there were only 2 of us so I am not sure how much more adding kids could be. I know Costco and Sam's Clubs have deals for them too. Because they don't get a commission like a travel agent would make, you might save some money.
Good luck with everything, doesn't it seem like when it rains, it pours?
I too feel badly for you, unfortunately all of us get a slice of the dysfunctional pie! Some get a sliver while others get half the pie. (you do notice that for me everything goes back to food) Anyway, I wouldn't make any decisions until you calm down. When anger and emotional feelings make decisions, we usually end up regretting the outcome. The only advice I could give you would be that any decision you make will make some happy, and some not so happy. I would try my best to make sure that my kids landed on the happy side. Good Luck, Leslie
On April 14, 2010 at 9:25 AM Pacific Time, charliegirlten wrote:
I too feel badly for you, unfortunately all of us get a slice of the dysfunctional pie! Some get a sliver while others get half the pie. (you do notice that for me everything goes back to food) Anyway, I wouldn't make any decisions until you calm down. When anger and emotional feelings make decisions, we usually end up regretting the outcome. The only advice I could give you would be that any decision you make will make some happy, and some not so happy. I would try my best to make sure that my kids landed on the happy side. Good Luck, LesliePeople laugh because I'm different, I laugh because they are all the same
I understand what you & your shrink are saying. My personality is to put everyone's happiness before mine. I put everyone's everything before myself, and all is got me was to balloon up to 248lbs! I suddenly realized in trying to maneuver obstacles in family and friends way, no one was even little happier then when I started. The only person I can make truly happy is myself. It really is unreasonable to look for your happiness in someone else. NOW, with all that said, when my kids were little, young enough where I was making their decisions, I always tried to put them first on my list. I think most parents do this whether they realize it, or not! Let all the adults fend for themselves, and you do whats best for you and your family. Good Luck
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