Friends wanna ask,,,,,,

But are obviously afriad to ask,, about my 100+ lbs weight loss,  in 7 months or so.

It's kind of funny actually. Saturday we had a launch on the eastern shore, a couple of folks who haven't seen me other than bundled up in cold weather gear, commented on my weight loss,, and asked if "I was ok" These are pretty good friends I laugh and joke around with so it is easy for them to breach the subject.

BUT,,

What about those I see infrequently,, that look,,, but are scared to ask,, those who I know through my daughters school friends? How does everyone handle that situation. The folks that are "normal weight" I am tempted to blurt out "I am ok,, I had WLS" but for overweight friends,, I don't want to offend them,, seem like I am bragging,, or what ever. How is the best way of handling them,, also consider,, I started shaving my head in September 2008,,  had my RNY August 2009,,so I guess it may seem that I could possibly be suffering from something that caused me to lose a lot of weight and my hair. Funny in one way,,, not so much if I was "sick" (which I am not)

Thanks,
Tom

I actually have two overweight friends who are seriously considering WLS after seeing how easily I went through it.  I think I have answered a lot of the questions they had that kept them from even considering WLS. 

I was not shy in telling people what I was doing.  To me, it was no different than having any other surgery.  People I don't know very well (like the parents at your daughter's school), I just don't say anything.  People should be able to tell you aren't ill just by how healthy you look!  Let 'em wonder (or ask)!

I normally didn't say anything unless someone asked.  I would just let it be.  They can wonder all they want you know the truth and that 's all that matters.

There was one time when my face looked all sunken in when my neighbor asked me if I waslright because I looked so sick and skinny.  I laughed and thanked her for the compliment and she looked at me bewildered. 
I then explained I had weight loss surgery and my body just needed to catch up with my face and then I wasn't going to look like that anymore. We both laughed and she congratulated me.  Until this day she can't believe the transformation when she sees my pics.

I know what you are going through I have been there.  It will alll die down by next year.  ;)

Cira

Congrats on your success, Tom!  You've done fantastic with your WLS! 

But I wonder why you think it would offend your overweight friends to admit to your WLS?  Better than having them feel like such failures because they can't possibly match your success... don't you think?

Just my opinion... but why can't we be honest and share our successful WLS stories and start negating all the negative WLS that have always been out there??

Also, for all those that think it's cheating or lazy way to lose weight... also need to be properly educated that this is work!  Successful... but work!

Mitzi

Sing it Tom.

Much Like Kris we have had several friends who are SMO who always said NO way would they even CONSIDER surgery.  after seeinig how well Bri and I are doing they actually are not considering the possibility for themselves.  

If we keep WLS our dirty secret we will always be accused of 'taking the easy way out'

I so totally agree sing sing sing.  Before surgery I really worried about who to tell what and when.  But frankly after surgery, I just found it easier to be straight forward when asked.  I have had people who when they have observed that I've lost a lot of weight wonder if I am ok.  I always make a joke about it - no I am not sick - and then go on to tell about the WLS.  I don't know if I have influenced any one into considering getting it but you can tell when speaking to overweight people that there is a flicker of interest there that isn't present in the casual observer.  I even told my cardiologist at my last appointment that if he had patients considering it and felt like they needed to talk to someone he could put them in touch with me.  Without becoming a prostalitizer, I do believe that walking in the light of day about this surgery is much better for me (I've had shame issues around my weight my entire life, I'll be darned if I am goning to be shamed by my decision to fix it) and maybe helps someone else along the way

Ok enough rambling.  (for now)