Will I ever NOT be a fat chick?

I've been gone for a while from this site.  Life has been overwhelming.  I am dealing with a lot at home and work and it is very difficult to make time for myself.  So here is the truth:  I have gained weight.  I am OVER 200 again.  I don't want to be here!!  This is one of the things that I worried about before surgery; failing.  I have failed at every other diet I have tried and didn't want this to have the same outcome.  I need to get a hold of my eating.  I am a stress eater.  I have found that I can eat just about anything that I could eat before surgery.  Of course, I cannot eat in the quantities as before surgery, but if you snack and continue snacking the weight will come back. 

So this is the first thing that I must do in my "recovery" right?  Admit that I have a problem and put it out there and ask for help.  Well, that's what I'm asking for.  I know that there is no miracle cure for obesity or we would all be skinny, right?  But I do need your help in again fighting for my life.  I have been able to do so many things since I lost the weight that I wasn't able to do before and I don't want to lose that.

I went to the gym last night (first night in a long time) and pushed myself.  I even tried running, but the fat from my stomach flapping was embarassing. 

Any thoughts or advise that you may have to help me along my continued journey would be great.  THANKS!!

Oh Lisa my heart hurts so bad for you. I know we have failed so many times and this is a great blow to us and it seems to push us down so bad. I have lost and gained to many times and each time I get so pissed and discouraged at myself. I get so tired of struggling. I wish there was something I could do to help you. I will be here to support and encourage you no matter what. You are a great person no matter your size. I know you have had so much going on and that makes this eating crap even harder. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and hug you and tell you it will be OK but I can't reach you. I am sending you an on line hug and am wishing you can get back on track You have did the hardest part by admitting you have had a set back. Hang in there and know we are here for you.


                                                                                                                   Julie

Julie:

Thanks so much.  I always know that you all are here and supportive.  I so wish that I could be closer to you.  I do need a hug.  Everyone here understands our struggles.  That is something that the "outside world" may never know.

Okay, first of all, since I consider you one of my dearest friends - I don't see a fat chick, and frankly, even if you weighed 1000 pounds, I wouldn't.  All I see is an incredibly warm, loving, giving woman who gives 110% to her family, friends and work.  One who puts others first, often at the detriment of her own health and well-being. 

Stress is an evil thing - it mucks with our heads and doesn't allow us to make rational decisions when it comes to eating and taking care of ourselves.

Think back to what made you so successful in the beginning - rerouted intestines aside.  You were vigilant about what you ate and drank, focusing on protein first, limiting your carbs and consuming a lot of fluids.  I really think it's that simple and that basic.  And, admittedly, one of the hardest things you'll ever do.

And, look at what you've done right now - you've realized what you're doing is self-sabotaging, you went to the gym and you came here for support and advice. 

I know your office is usually chock full of goodies this time of year - give them away!!!  Send them to school with the kids, give them to the local police/fire departments, your mail carrier, etc.  Just get them out of your line of vision!!!!!

Hang in there!  You know I love you and I'm there for you!!

T

Sniff, Sniff (and wiped her eyes before responding).  I have no words for how wonderful you make me feel! 

  BACKATCHA, BABE!

((((((LISA))))))))

I admire you lots and lots - like Tia said you give 110% to your family, and you've had many stressful moments lately. 

I admire you even more for understanding and the biggest step, as Tia mentioned, is standing up and saying I have a problem; and for knowing what causes the eating - the stress.

I am a bored eater, so I try to do things so that I don't get bored and snack.

When I get angry - I totally lose my appetite, and nowadays I also go for a walk.  By the time I get back, I'm no longer as angry as I was when I first walked out.

Would it help if whenever you felt a bit stressed, that you just got out and walked around?

And as far as the gym goes, please don't push yourself too hard.

Sending prayers of strength your way, and please know that we are all here to help out.  We love ya!

Did I ever tell you how much I LOVE when you agree with me???  LOL!!!!! 

Candy:

Thanks for the support.  I just kept saying last night as I was on the treadmill.  If those people on the biggest loser can do it, so can I.  I am hurting this morning, but know that my body needs this exercise. 

Lisa,

you're  human.   forgive yourself and move forward...

it was great that you went to the gym... if you feel you CAN run and the tummy bothers you.. get a great support garment and run...  trust me NO ONE is going to look at you.. they are all too worried that others are looking at them...

you have had a LOT on your plate and are doing GREAT with all that...

can you go back to basics... protein first,   not eating and drinking at the same time,  3 meals and 2 protein snacks a day?     will that work?

I'm not really far enough out to advise you well but  I want you to know I'm thinking of you and pulling for you.